Dealing with Mom Guilt | Mommy Jammies Night

Dealing with Mom Guilt | Learning to lay your burdens down before the Lord

Dealing with Mom Guilt with Felice Gerwitz  

Overcoming Mommy Guilt (Scroll ALL THE WAY DOWN to get to the player)

 

We’ve all done it – you know thinking we are not good enough or it is all our fault. Where did I go wrong – what could I have done differently –


When I was expecting my first child I thought – how can it be that hard? I was a teacher and handled an entire classroom of kids, one little kid can’t be difficult after that!

I was filled with my own self importance, my own skill set – my own…well, degree! I had an education degree in Early Childhood, Elementary Ed and Specific Learning Disabilities – I was degreed for K-12 I was all set, right?

Wrong!

Along came Neal, this beautiful bundle of joy – and he was the first and most perfect baby. He slept well and for hours, he barely cried, he nursed really well. In fact, I thought he was the easiest child ever! And, compared to my other four he was a very easy baby…

But fast forward and let me tell you I began to second guess every decision  because the experts began to weigh in.

Well meaning family members, friends, the lady next door – everyone was an expert!

I began listening to my friends talk about their kids and their parenting methods were all over the board from the way permissive to the super, super strict—train up a child and that is the way he will grow crowd and don’t spare the rod crowd.

While I was very comfortably somewhere in between I began to realize that moms in general were a mess –

They were threading water – barely surviving.

I listened to people share:

  1. I’m not good enough
  2. I’m going to ruin my children
  3. I’m not an expert
  4. My kids are going to grow up to hate me which is why I am going to be sure to spoil them
  5. It is all my fault!

Friends – if you hear nothing else I say …please hear this. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT – Let me repeat that – IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

 

As a Christian we have the tools to be super parents

– after all as Christians aren’t we heirs of the KINGDOM isn’t GOD OUR FATHER? Didn’t God promise not to forsake us but to send HIS spirit to guide us?

I understand you are on overload – I understand your child may be lost – and you know what? God has given us and them free will…

We can not mold our children in our image – however we can introduce them to the Almighty God

And we often preach to the choir – we ask our children to do the heavy lifting – to demonstrate to us God’s love and to show us they really understand.

We can see their walk with the Lord in the fruit they demonstrate

And if we don’t like that fruit – guess what? It is up to us to pray. And we pray – God do this and this and this – NO – we need to pray YOUR WILL LORD NOT MINE

God did not give us a spirit of fear New International Version 2Timothy 1:7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or …

Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will neverleave you nor forsake you. …. and hope; unto us is this gospel preached, as well as unto them; he will never fail thee, nor forsake thee, Heb 13:5.

 

Jesus Promises the Holy Spirit
17the Spirit of truth. The world cannot receive Him, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him. But you do know Him, for He abides with you and He will be in you. 18I will not leave you as orphans;I will come to you. 19In a little while, the world will see Me no more, but you will see Me. Because I live, you also will live.…

Do Not Worry (Luke 12:22-34) 25 Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air: They do not sow or reap or gather into barns—and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his lifespan? 28And why do you worry about clothes? Consider how the lilies of the field grow: They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his glory was adorned like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?31Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans pursue all these things, and your Heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own.

 

Moms – stop with the guilt!

  1. If you feel guilty it is not from God – He does not give us a sense of guilt.
  2. Feeling guilty is a sign that we lack faith – in ourselves and the power of God – think about that. It hurts doesn’t it? When I realized this myself … I had to pray and repent.
  3. Guilt is often misplaced. The guilty person – i.e. your child, gets off scott free – “It is not my fault”
  4. It’s not about you – it is about the offending party

It is not your fault. It really isn’t

Let me tell you a true story. I was praying to the Lord about a situation that was really outside of my control. I was apologizing to Him for something I felt was really a lack of  faith. Then I felt the Lord answer my prayer with clarity – but the answer was very compelling, the Lord basically said, “Do you really think you have that much power?”

Wow. Just wow!

Sometimes friends we take on the burden of fault when it does not lie on our shoulders. We allow our child – in point 3 above to get off with a “free” card.

We are not responsible for someone eles’s free will decision – sometimes our children need to fall in order for the Lord to minister to them where they are – even if it feels like the entire world is falling in around  your shoulders.

We fix everything from the time they are little to the time they are big – and when we can’t we get overwhelmed. We just can’t do it anymore!

Solutions:

  1. Look at Mary – her infamous example as the mother of our Lord. At the wedding feast of Canaan where her wise words were, “Do what He tells you.” These words are applicable for us as well.
  2. Praise God in everything – yes, everything. Remember Romans 8:28
  3. Pray specifically, and if we don’t know how to pray ask the Lord. (Podcast: AFewMinutesWithGodPodcast.com
  4. Know that God hears you! He really does.  

Sponsor:

Jan Bedell Making Teaching Easier

Mommy Jammies Night

with Jan Bedell

Topic: Making Teaching Easier
Get your Facebook event reminder by choosing “going” to the event here.
Join our special guest, Jan Bedell, as she shares practical and insightful ways to make teaching easier. Be encouraged and uplifted in your homeschool journey!

 

Jammies Night Show Notes

Make Teaching Easier

Whether you have a gifted, typically developing or struggling learner this home school encouragement is for you!

Goals for this Mommy Jammies Night:

  • Encourage you!  Your home school days really can be easier. It has already happened for our speaker who shares this gift with you.
  • Empowering you my explaining the importance of the NeuroDevelopmental Approach in making teaching easier. Breaking this big word down is the beginning of understanding its importance.  Neuro means having to do with the brain, and development in this case refers to the way the brain goes through all its developmental steps to gain maximum brain function for an individual.
  • Equip you with information that can unlock your child’s fullest learning potential. When the brain is organized and functioning properly, learning is easier, thus making teaching easier.

The Little Giant Steps Brain Coach, Dr. Jan Bedell, will help you look at your children, your teaching strategy and your curriculum in a whole new light.  The brain must be able to receive, process and store information efficiently in order to bring the needed information in through all learning channels and use that information in a well-organized manner. You will never look at the concept of learning styles the same after you hear this presentation. Learn to make the teaching of reading, math and math facts mastery simpler for your children.  When your child is able to learn more easily, teaching becomes easier for you.

 

 

FREE GIFT at UltimateRadioShow.com

Here’s the link for the gifts.   1.)Auditory Processing Auditory Test Kit, 2.) A Teaching Page from A Teacher, 3.) A Document from A Teacher’s Experience Discovering the NeuroDevelopmental Approach.  It’s a wonderful explanation as well as a teaching tool.

 

 

https://cj4lgs.lpages.co/mommy/   (BTW ~ the download takes a little time, as there are three items!)

For the latest Brain Coach Tip podcast about The NeuroDevelopmental Approach for Life –

[lots of free training & practical skills]

About Jan:
Jan Bedell, PhD, M.ND
In 1992, Jan started a journey that transitioned her from desperate homeschool mom of a struggling learner into a master NeuroDevelopmentalist. With her new knowledge of how to optimize brain function, coupled with her previous experience as a public, private and homeschool teacher, she understood there was more to education than just technique and curriculum. She found hope and help for her daughter through The NeuroDevelopmental Approach that ensures the brain is ready for learning. Today, Jan’s passion is teaching ways to stimulate brains of all ages earning her the title, Brain Coach. Through the years her work has helped children, teens and adults discover their true God-given potential without labels. This message has been life-changing for all those who have applied her brain building principals, making life and learning easier for thousands.

Connect with Jan on Social Media:
Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/Little-Giant-Steps-1608737242731926/
Website: https://www.littlegiantsteps.com/
Podcast show: https://www.littlegiantsteps.com/podcasts

Special Needs? Keep Your Head Above Water! with Heather Laurie

      Mommy Jammies Night with Heather Laurie of Special Needs Homeschooling

Keeping your head above the water when YOU are the one with special needs!

5 Aspects of Life to balance

Years ago I was supermom. Okay so maybe just marginally awesome mom. I was the head of my growing church’s nursery. Went to co-op with my 5 kids who were all dealing with special needs. We were in the van most days of the week zipping here and there doing all sorts of thing… busy things… things that I filled my time with.

We lived an intense life but I never really considered what if… what if I became the one with special needs? I had medical issues but they were stable at the time and part of me just thought I’ll be like this, sick but able bodied.

That is not what happened.

  1. Create a Plan and set of Goals to reach for-

    1. How often do you hear oh we homeschool so you can just take a day off…
      1. 1 day, 2, a week when does it become too much?
    2. Goals help you establish a baseline
      1. Am I pushing too hard?
      2. Are we on track? Even if it doesn’t feel like we are
  2. Structure and Routine

    1. My natural inclination is relaxed homeschooling but my situation requires
    2. We developed a routine for the family because we are a truly a special needs family
      1. If the kids are upset and out of sorts my efforts will be 10x just to get a calm less intense result
  3. Year round Homeschooling

    1. This is not the only way to do it just how we do.
      1. Flexible time
      2. Consistent learning that doesn’t require review in the fall
      3. Anxiety that a normal child can have with mom or dad in and out of the hospital is eased by a constant
  4. Homemaking takes time and spoons!

    1. Menu planning saves $, time, and energy
      1. Brain fog at the end of the day
      2. I need a rest.
  5. Healthy Living

    1. Go to the dr, dentist, therapist, chiropractor
      1. Shows your children to care for and tend to their own bodies
    2. Sleep!
    3. Take your medications if necessary
    4. Rest is good.. I know opposite of how we started but being able to acknowledge that we all need a rest is good. Take an In-service day.

It’s not always easy to get from struggling or just plain not making our goals and feeling depressed about our own performance as mom, wife, and homeschooler to functioning, progressing, calmer person. Like in a real pond there are those stones on the edge that are slime covered and you may fall. Get back up and keep trying.

I wake up each and every day because the Lord has blessed me with the strength to carry on. I acknowledge and welcome that comforting fact.  

 

Visit Heather:

Social Media Links:

 

Jesus and Moms with Gina Glenn

 

Jesus and Moms podcast

 

Jesus and Moms Gina Glenn

(scroll down for podcast)

Show notes: What I’d like to share tonight is a way to embrace the vocation and high calling of motherhood that keeps our eyes on Christ. We’ll look directly to the Lord for the equipping and lay aside advice from Dr. Phil, and others (at least as far as they disagree with Scripture).

First, let’s look at how Jesus taught. This will help us in our daily, minute-by-minute instruction of our children no matter what age they may be. This is also called relationship.

If we look at the life of Christ we see that Jesus was loving. He repeated spiritual truths over and over so that people might understand. He walked among the people healing them, by asking them questions, and by imparting truth through ways they could understand (Mark 4:34 He did not say anything to them without using a parable. But when he was alone with his own disciples, he explained everything.)

Jesus was someone who attracted others. He had a way of pointing to the Father that satisfied the needs of people. He knew how to satisfy their greatest spiritual needs. Even when they just returned for more bread, he knew they had a greater need.

Here are ways he did just that, and how as Moms we can be encouraged that if we will follow the master Jesus will meet their needs and our own.

  1. Children need to feel safe, loved, and important.  Do you have a consistent temperament? Do you meet as well as you are able your children’s basic needs for clothing, shelter, and food? Is your discipline consistent or are your children unsure of what to expect? Can your child confide in your? We are especially admonished not to provoke our children to anger or discouragement (Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.Jesus makes us feel safe, loved, and important in his very life (lived sinlessly), death (for our sins), and resurrection (for our justification) that we might have peace with God the Father, Romans chapter 4.
  2. Children must trust their parents Do you keep your word to your children? Do you keep your word to others so your children witness this? Do you do your best to make sure that your children are influenced by trustworthy adults? Remember when we talked about how Jesus patiently repeated things to his followers (and for our benefit) so we’d understand? This built trust. We can trust him because He did exactly what he said he would do. Read Mark 8,9, and 10. He said he would suffer, die, and rise. He did.
  3. Children need to know their worth Do your children understand that their value as a human and made in the image of God? Do your children see how important they are to you by the time and real attention you give to them? Are you full of distraction? God’s Word tells us children are a heritage (Psalm 127) and fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139), and that the Father would hold nothing back in saving them should they stray, and in fact he didn’t hold back his only son. (Matthew 18 and the parable of the lost sheep)
  4. Children need to see their purpose and calling Do your children see that they’ve been created by God and live in the culture and time we live in “for such a time as this”. Do you? Ephesians 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
  5. Children need chores Constant entertainment is soul-destroying to anyone, but especially to a child. There is value in work that sparks their creativity and curiosity and helps them see their place in God’s world. Again, Ephesians 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
  6. Wisdom and role models- Children need your guidance and the guidance of trusted adults, especially as they become young-adults themselves to help grow discernment. Who do you know that exhibits wisdom that would be a good influence? Do you exhibit wisdom to your children? Proverbs 13:20 tells us, “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.”

Learn more about Susanna Wesley here.

Jesus and Moms Gina Glenn

Lost and Found with Kendra Fletcher

Mommy Jammes Night Kendra Fletcher Lost and Found

 

Show Notes:

Scripture references: Romans 8

  • God’s got this
  • God loves you
  • God’s not surprised by anything in your life
  • Our trust is in Jesus alone
  • Surround yourself with supportive friends

About Lost and Found by Kendra Fletcher:

“The “right” homeschooling philosophy. The right brand of theology. The “right” meal-planning, home-managing, keep-it-all-together parenting. Kendra Fletcher, homeschooling mom of eight, had it all “right,” until it all fell apart. In the course of eighteen months, Kendra found her baby in a coma, ran over her five-year-old, and nearly lost her eight-year-old to a septic ruptured appendix. Lost and Found is the story of how God used those events to transform her family’s self-righteous religion into freedom in Christ. Fletcher’s debut book is the gripping true story of how God used suffering to save her family from empty religion. As wave after wave of crisis hit, the Fletchers discovered that getting religion “right” wasn’t a good substitute for a living relationship with a loving God. Through their suffering, they learned about misplaced identities and false hope, and they threw themselves wholly into the arms of Jesus where they found the grace they needed. Fletcher, a well-known writer and conference speaker in Christian homeschooling circles, addresses the quiet legalism that so easily infiltrates Christian communities and exposes the dangers of focusing our hopes on the “right” ways of worship, work, and family life. More than a memoir, Lost and Found invites all of us to give up the things that hold us in bondage and find our value, worth, significance, hope, and identity in Christ alone.”

If you enjoyed the podcast…

Be sure and check out Kendra’s book here and connect with her via her blog and social media and don’t miss her podcasts on the Network as HomeschoolingIRL. 

Thank you to our Sponsor:

Smurfs the Lost Village

 

 

 

A Remnant of Righteousness

A Remnant of Righteousness

with Anne Marie Gosnell

Anne Marie Gosnell Mommy Jammies Night with Gina Glenn A Remnant of Righteousness

 

Join Anne Marie as she focuses on moms being leaders of the remnant. We will dig into the book of Judges and pop into Ruth as we discuss teaching ethics and sanctification to our kids. Let’s make sure they know the WHY and the HOW of being a Christian.

Freebie from Anne Marie: Checklist-1

Giveaway from Anne Marie: http://ultimateradioshow.com/giveaways/

 

Show notes:

The Remnant of Righteousness

Introduction:

  • Look up Judges 2.
  • Story of futureflyingsaucers.com name
  • Disclaimer to moms – Surround yourself with mercy and grace.

Judges:

  • Set the stage from Joshua
  • Why does the oppression in Judges happen?
  • It only takes 1 generation
  • Cycle of sin

Ruth:

  • God always has a remnant no matter how dark and oppressed the world gets.
  • There was “something” about Naomi
  • What a blessing Ruth was to her generation and to those afterwards

Remnant of Righteousness Still Exists

  • Average Christian Life vs Normal Christian Life
  • Your WHY + HOW = WHAT

How Do We Teach the WHY and HOW to our Kids?

  • Isaiah 30:21
  • Shadow Stepping
  • Ephesians 5

 

Connect with Anne Marie:

Anne Marie has a graduate degree in education with a focus on developing curriculum and instruction. Her life journey includes over 25 years (so far!) in Children’s Ministry: Sunday School, Puppetry, Vacation Bible School, Children’s Church, Awana Bible Teacher, and various outreach ministries. She is the founder of www.futureflyingsaucers.com where she shares creative, engaging resources so parents and teachers can share Jesus without fear.

Anne Marie’s blog: http://www.futureflyingsaucers.com/christian-parenting-the-remnant-of-righteousness/

 

True Womanhood

real womanhood mother jammies nightTrue Womanhood with host Gina Glenn & Guest Speaker Felice Gerwitz

What is true womanhood? Being a woman means so much more than the movies and the celebrity media tells us. In this presentation, Felice Gerwitz shares the truth about womanhood that will set you free.

What is true womanhood? Is it marching for a cause, like the women did in the Washington D.C. for the Women’s March? Or is it women marching in Washington in the March For Life? In this episode, Felice explores what it means to be a woman, the joy that comes from true freedom and how to pass on a legacy of true womanhood to our children.

Listen to Felice’s podcast – Vintage Homeschool Moms 

Thanks to our sponsors – ElephantLearning.com/MediaAngels

Media Angels, Inc.

Be sure to like and give a star ratings on iTunes and follow this broadcast.

Links Felice recommends – True Womanhood.

Blog Post – Here

Issues about sexual confusion here

Feminine Genius – FemineGenius   The copy resides here but there was an error on the website.

Show Notes: True Womanhood

True and authentic womanhood is a gift from the Almighty God – something that NO one can take away from YOU – because YOU have been entrusted with a very special gift – and now I want to share that gift.

  1. True womanhood is closely connected to love, it gives life it is balance
  2. True womanhood remembers the gift of our feminine genius – this is the charism that the Holy Spirit gives to women.
  3. True womanhood understands we have our dignity.
  4. True womanhood isn’t an either or – it isn’t a revolution it is a gift given to us as good by our very nature, the fabric of our womanhood. Gen 1:28 “Fill the earth and subdue it” [Given to both men and women.]
  5. True womanhood is realizing by our very nature, we are the only ones who are called daughter – mother – wife – no other. We are gifted with intuition, sensitivity generosity, and self-giving. We are gifted with loyalty… women are fiercely loyal.
  6. True and authentic womanhood is knowing who you are despite being marginalized by society or the circumstances in your life.
  7. True and authentic womanhood gains its strength from an infilling of the Holy Spirit.
  8. True womanhood is the courage to take this gift we’ve been given and pass it on as a legacy to our children.
  9. True womanhood is the gift of being an equal partner (not better or worse than) our male counterpart. Genesis 2:20 “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” [The help is not one-sided but mutual—womanhood expresses the “human” as much as manhood does but in a different way.]
  10. True womanhood remembers the greatest example in history and that is the mother of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ and that is Mary. She exemplifies all that is good and holy in motherhood.

One Wise Choice That Can Improve Any Relationship

one wise choice that can improve relationshipsOne Wise Choice That Can Improve Any Relationship with Jennifer O. White

Jennifer shares that in life there are many decisions that can ruin our relationships with each other – especially our spouse.

Show Notes: One Choice That Can Improve Any Relationship –

 

  • There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus –  but we are exposed to the temptation and darkness.
  • What we think about God is the most important thing about us.
  • God is delighted in us – we lift these things up in our minds to defend ourselves against the enemy.
  • God is delighted in others – such as our spouse
  • We believe that God delights in others –  we should practice this
  • We can become stabilized in this truth, how God delights in YOU it will change our lives!
  • If you are sure that God loves you – that confidence, it will bless you each day
  • You love for your spouse is your reflection of God’s love
Connect with Jennifer White
Jennifer O. White is a natural encourager ready to cheer you on in your pursuit of knowing, praying and acting on God’s Word. She is a veteran of one failed marriage and one rescued by the marriage Savior. In her book, Prayers for New Brides: Putting on God’s Armor After the Wedding Dress,1 Jennifer helps wives recognize the spiritual battle behind the scenes of every marriage. Her book, blogs, and her new prayer greeting card line all direct our attention to God who is able to do exceedingly MORE in our lives and marriages than we dare to ask or imagine.
 
Connect with Jennifer online here: JenniferOWhite.comand PrayersforNewBrides.com/blog
Check out her greeting card line: http://www.jenniferowhite.com/product-category/greeting-cards/

5 Prayers For A Wow Year

5-prayers-for-a-wow-yearMommy Jammies Night special guest –

Jennifer Odom White.

Topic –  5 Simple Prayers for a Wow Year! 

Jennifer O. White is a natural encourager ready to cheer you on in your pursuit of knowing, praying and acting on God’s Word. She is a veteran of one failed marriage and one rescued by the marriage Savior. In her book, Prayers for New Brides: Putting on God’s Armor After the Wedding Dress,1 Jennifer helps wives recognize the spiritual battle behind the scenes of every marriage. Her book, blogs, and her new prayer greeting card line all direct our attention to God who is able to do exceedingly MORE in our lives and marriages than we dare to ask or imagine.
 
Connect with Jennifer online here: JenniferOWhite.comand PrayersforNewBrides.com/blog
Check out her greeting card line: http://www.jenniferowhite.com/product-category/greeting-cards/

 Show Notes:

  1. Asking for the Holy Spirit to strengthen
  2. Believe and Ask!
  3. God has unlimited resources
  4. How would having more faith change your outlook?
  5. Pray ahead of time for grace to deal with issues in life
  6. God = Love –> therefore, love provides!
  7. Love is present with you – and protects you.
  8. Love casts out fear
  9. God has resurrection power
  10. Experience God’s love and sit before the Lord

Jennifer shares four prayers with us – listen to the audio –> 5 Simple Prayers for a Wow Year!  for more!

Scripture Verses:

  • Ephesians 3: 14-20
  • 2 Corinthians 12:9
  • Ephesians 3:16

 

Vicki Tillman – Your Child’s Amazing Gifts

special-mjn-guest-vicki-tillman-subsribeSpecial Mommy Jammies Night presentation with your host, Felice Gerwitz and special guest Vicki Tillman.

Your Child’s Amazing Gifts!

Each of our children has a unique gift that God has given them. We have the blessing of helping uncover and develop those gifts. Vicki will talk about ways to help your children discover and build their gifts.

 Vicki Tillman’s mission is to advance God’s kingdom by investing in people. She has lived this call as an advisor to the upperclassmen in her local homeschool community for 18 years. A homeschooling mom for 20-plus years, all five of Vicki’s children graduated from homeschool high school and have completed (or are pursuing) various degrees at college and graduate levels.

A speaker, curriculum developer, and advisor to homeschoolers, Vicki shares her expertise in homeschooling, prayer, life and career coaching, and mental health topics through her posts at 7SistersHomeschool.com, 2:1 Conference (she is a member of the writing team), VickiTillmanCoaching.com, Pike Creek Psychological Center and VickiTalksPrayer.com 

Vicki holds an M.A. in Counseling from Liberty University and has worked as a counselor and coach at Pike Creek Psychological Center since 1996. She holds an M.O.M. from the School of Parenting 5 Wonderful Kids ?

A great offer from Vicki – Literature and History Electives

Great Christian Writer’s Full Year Literature Class 

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