My Spouse Doesn’t Want Me To Homeschool – HIRL Episode 59

Free homeschool podcast discussing what to do when your spouse doesn't want to homeschool.We love to sit down in the studio and discuss the questions sent in from listeners. On this episode of Homeschooling in Real Life, Fletch and Kendra we respond to a listener who asked how she can homeschool when her non-supportive spouse is skeptical and negative about her efforts.

Here’s the deal: we don’t have the answers and there are no magic bullets out there, but that does not stop us from tackling this very difficult topic. This was the perfect question to get us thinking and working our thoughts outloud for our listenters.  Tune in and give a listen as we answer in a way that provides both the practical and the hopeful. We really think you’ll be encouraged to seek God and listen for what He has in store for your family.

Timeline
:53– Introduction
9:10 – Part One
25:10 – Part Two

Show Notes

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Music clips used on this show:

“One'” Three Dog Night (Buy It Here On iTunes)


Join Fletch (from theMangoTimes) and Kendra (from Preschoolers and Peace and KendraFletcher.com) for the HomeschoolingIRL podcast every week as they interview guests and talk through some of the goofiness they have experienced in nearly two decades of Homeschooling In Real Life.

Comments

  1. When we started homeschooling four years ago my husband thought I was nuts.I felt this was the way God was leadings us and prayed about it. I asked my husband if he could give me a semester. If it proved to not be working we would send our oldest to public school but if it proved to work then we would continue doing it. He agreed with great scepticism. After the first quarter he saw how well our oldest was excelling academically and in maturity. He apologized for his doubts and lack of support. And now he is my biggest supporter during the good days and bad days of homeschooling. We have both come to fully accept this was God’s calling for our family. It took prayer and patience for my husband to come around. Hopefully the women who emailed in will see a change of heart I their husbands like I did.

  2. Thank you very much for this topic. I am in this situation and you gave me great suggestions.

  3. Shawna Barr says:

    Hey guys! Great job on another tough and important topic. Your points are spot on. I have walked this path with many friends, and with my own husband to some degree early on, and since one of your listeners asked for feedback from others who have experienced this homeschooling dilemma, I thought I would share a few stories from the trenches. 🙂

    First though, I’d like to throw out another thought on the topic–sometimes it may be helpful to work through what is really behind the lack of support for homeschooling from your spouse. It may not always be just homeschooling for the sake of homeschooling, but rather what they think homeschooling will mean within the context of their family. I realize that this can be dangerous territory, as it leaves us open and vulnerable to honest feedback. But, if we can understand our spouses real concerns or fears, it potentially gives us the opportunity to address them through change, compromise and understanding, and hopefully come to a place of unity.

    For example, a common cause for lack of support for homeschooling, one that I have heard over and again, is financial concern. At its root, this is an honorable concern as husbands bear that responsibilty for family provision. Can that concern be addressed in other ways? I’ve seen homeschool moms really tighten up their budget and stick to it. I’ve also seen some work part time from home to generate a little extra income, or even out-of-home. Enrollment in a Charter School has helped some defer the costs of materials and classes….all compromises to bring unity to the decision to homeschool.

    In one situation, the husband was quietly unhappy with his wife’s lack of homekeeping skills, and was really looking forward to the day when the little ones would be away at school and hopefully his wife would be able to give a little more attention to keeping their home tidy. Ouch! That is a hard one to hear as a wife! It almost offends me to write it! LOL! But also, it was not a difficult obstacle to overcome in light of the desire to homeschool. A compromise from the wife in the form of and improved home keeping plan resulted in a supportive homeschool dad.

    Another very common concern that we have heard from Dads is over academics. It can be really scary to opt of the only educational system one has ever known, and trust something out-of-the-box to meet the needs of their children. Not everyone is an easy opter-outer of the system. Again, this is a valid concern and I’ve seen moms address it in a number of ways. One is, as you suggested, to make contact with other homeschooling families further along the path to witness what a homeschooling education can produce academically. In another situation, Dad was much more comforatable with the kids being enrolled in a personalized learning Charter School that provided oversight and standardized state testing. It was a compromise that ended up being a win.

    One of the harder situations I’ve seen was a Dad who was unsupportive of homeschooling because his beloved wife struggled deeply with depression and anxiety. He felt that the added challenge of homeschooling would be unwise for their family and detrimental to her. In this case, the husband was right, although his lack of support was very painful in the moment. God provided a school situation that has been a blessing for everyone.

    Anyway, I hope those stories encourage some. You are not alone if this is an issue in your family!

    • Great response Shawna! Thanks for the thoughtful reply! I will mention this and point people here on our next episode, so our listenters don’t miss this one buried in the comments. 🙂 Fletch

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