Are You An Unaware Mommy Shamer?

Are You an Unaware Mommy Shamer?Have you ever been guilty of mommy shaming? I sure have. I honestly did not realize I was doing it until years later, but unfortunately that doesn’t change the fact that I did it in the first place. I hope this episode will encourage you to look at yourself and make sure you aren’t guilty of the same thing.

Lesli often tells the story of me mommy shaming her shortly after we first met. She offered me a pair of shoes similar to the ones in the picture below and I refused them because “my daughter was not allowed to wear heels.” Yep, I said that. Nope, I am not proud. Yep, it was mommy shaming.

Once I looked back, I realized that I often mommy shamed in those early years. I would proudly state my opinion about holistic medicine, homeschooling, etc… not realizing that just my tone about the subject could be harming another mom.

Mothering is a mystery. Mothering is challenging. At times mothering is flat out overwhelming. Most of us are insecure of our decisions, especially early on. I think many of us “yell” out our opinion as a cry for affirmation. Unfortunately, our opinions are often seen as mommy shaming.

If you think you might be guilty of mommy shaming, here are my suggestions:

  1. Recognize why you mommy shame.
  2. Recognize when you mommy shame.
  3. Strive to be quietly confident, only sharing STRONG opinions among your inner circle.

Mommy shaming divides. We need each other. Let’s spend our time respecting each other, encouraging each other, and loving each other.

You’ve got this!

Find a way to #sayyes today.

Don’t forget to subscribe to my podcast and leave a review on iTunes!!!

Thank you to The Homegrown Preschooler for sponsoring this Podcast! Check out the blog post Kathy mentioned, Farmhouse Schoolhouse, to read more about A Year of Playing Skillfully.

Also, to thank you for listening, you can receive a 10% discount on any purchase at

The Homegrown Preschooler by using the code, THEREALKATHYLEE.

 

Lemonade from Lemons

Felice no dateLemonade from Lemons Mommy Style

We’ve all done it – you know, made a bad situation better. We pull out our “Mommy Capes” and race head-long into trouble with a prayer that the Lord will help us figure it out, and quick!

The one incident that comes immediately to mind is the time we planned to go river rafting in North Florida, in early August. The national park was beautiful and we had enjoyed a wonderful weekend of camping. Other than my children getting in trouble for feeding the deer with my delicious fruit salad, the week-end had gone without a hitch. The weather was hot but beautiful under the shade trees and if you wonder – yes, we have air-conditioning in our “pop-up” trailer, a microwave and mini-frig.

This camping trip included my brother and his wife. She wasn’t the camping type but then, I assured her either was I! I knew she would enjoy it if she just gave it a try. Well, that was before the river-rafting trip.

We had just rented our large rafts from what we thought was a reputable place and two minutes down the road my brother’s raft was flat as a pancake atop his SUV. We called to alert him of the fact and we both pulled over to the shoulder. A quick trip back to the seller, with us following, yielded disappointing results. The vendor would not replace the raft nor refund our money. What to do! We had paid cash. The weather at that point looked ominous and the rain clouds were pouring in at an alarming rate. This park was 8 hours from where I lived so a trip back would not happen in the near future. The kids knew this.

I felt the Lord had protected us from being out on the river in a bad storm. I had peace.

My brother and sister-in-law, not so much.

They ranted at the sales person and it was so bad, my husband walked back to our car. I had stayed in the car with the kids and began to lead them in a prayer. For our disappointment, and for this unethical vendor!

We had already packed up our gear, and after the rafting trip we had planned to head home. It appeared our trip home would begin a bit earlier than we planned. I called my brother (whatever would we do without cell phones) and told him it was futile. This wasn’t the type of business you could report to a business bureau! My brother finally convinced his wife to let it go, and we were on the road again. The kids were disappointed, yes we could have continued without my brother but then it was not setting a good example. Family sticks together.

He who pursues righteousness and loyalty Finds life, righteousness and honor. Proverbs 21:21.

I asked my brother to meet us on a particular exit that I knew had soft-serve ice-cream and I alerted the children that a surprise was in store up-ahead. Ice-cream is not an equal substitute for river-rafting, but they saw the benefit. It was nothing as opposed to something! By this time my sister-in-law and brother had calmed down and they realized the storm was heading our way rapidly and we definitely would be drenched if we had ventured out into the river.

Big hugs from my kids and a thank-you made it all better – for me anyway.

This situation is something I’ve wanted to share with others, but the opportunity never came up until now! I’m speaking at the Mommy Jammies Night, with host, LaToya Edwards on February 11 at 9PM. The link will be posted here after the event. For now – visit the Mommy Jammies Night page for details.

How have your turned a bad situation into a good one? Share with us! We all need the encouragement.

Home For Learning

I’ve just officially named my blog and while Learning at Home sounds better than Home for Learning you can’t be picky when choosing a domain name these days! The word “blog” had to go – and my on-again-off-again blogging schedule is going as well! It’s not that I didn’t write blog posts, I just never finished them.

Here’s my problem. I use too many words!

And, by the time I completed a blog post I found what I really had was a mini-e-book! Can any of you bloggers relate? Well, short and pithy really isn’t in my vocabulary but as I learn the art of blogging I’ve decided I’ll break up my blogs into posts rather than try to write everything I want to say in one blog post. So, be ready for a series of post on one topic! As always if there is a particular topic you want to learn about let me know. Homeschooling since the dinosaurs roamed the earth in 1986 has to count for something. [For you purists out there — no the dinosaurs did not roam the earth in 1986.]

Many of you have written to us in the blog post early on, when I asked the question about the type of radio show you’d like to hear. We are very close to fulfilling that list, with a few more holes to go. I enjoy podcasts that I can listen to on my phone and I find I learn so much. My children enjoy them as well and I’m happy that we are able to provide two podcastts that have information for teens and more to come. [Current Issues & the Constitution as well as Dollars & Sense]

I’m always learning about shortcuts to cleaning, cooking or even time management. What are you learning about, share it with us!

 

Help From My Friends

The song from the Beatles runs through my mind, “I get by with a little help from my friends,” and that sums up these fabulous ladies who share a retreat with me yearly and a place in my heart. Years ago, the details are a bit muddy, Maggie Hogan approached me to ask if I’d be part of a Mastermind group of ladies. She formed a private Facebook group and added me along with Kim Kautzer and Mary Jo Tate. I knew Mary Jo having worked with her in the past (she edited one of our Creation Study Guides) and I “knew” Kim as she was an expo speaker, and I “knew” Maggie. I had used her curriculum with my own children.

But, I didn’t really know them and I can’t imagine continuing in business and homeschooling without these ladies.

These ladies have become dear to me in ways that I can never explain. They are my sounding board, nicely put me in my place (yes, I need this often), and they are very wise. I know much of it comes from prayer and a close relationship to the Lord, and some comes from experience.

We have many things in common.

  • We all love the Lord!
  • We are all homeschool moms.
  • Two have completed their homeschool-mom-journey and graduated their children.
  • Two of us are currently homeschooling.
  • Some are self-published
  • We all blog (more or less).

We are very different.

  • Two are literature buffs.
  • Two are editors.
  • Three travel often.
  • Three travel more than I ever will.
  • Two have only boys.
  • Two have a mix of boys and girls.
  • Three are self published
  • One has a book contract with another publisher.
  • Three publish other authors.
  • One is a Single Mom
  • Three are happily married.

We are different enough in the curriculum we provide not to be competition but similar enough to understand the needs of homeschool business owners. And all are homeschool moms that understand the hearts of other homeschool moms! So, it is with pleasure that I host a session with these three ladies and allow you an inside glimpse into our yearly retreat and how we’ve managed to encourage each other in our friendship, growth, challenges and accountability!

 

Listen to the full interview here VintageHomeschoolMoms.com

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