From “Not Tonight” to Talking It Out: Intimacy in a Christian Marriage

⚠️ Grown-ups only. This episode contains mature content — guard little ears before you press play.

Most homeschool families are great at talking to their kids about sex. Talking to each other? That’s where things get quiet. In this Homeschooling in Real Life encore, Fletch and Kendra open a listener email from “Jenny” — a mom who left a legalistic, fear-based church culture and wrote in with a brave question: you’ve taught us how to talk to our kids, but how do we talk about sex as a couple?

To help them go there, they invited back two of their favorite people, Barrett and Jennifer Johnson of InfoForFamilies.com — ministry leaders who speak at marriage conferences on exactly this subject. Together the four of them have an honest, funny, refreshingly real conversation about intimacy in a Christian marriage: why the church stays silent, why God’s design for sex is good, and what to actually do when your marriage isn’t firing on all cylinders.

In this episode you’ll hear:

• Why “our current sex life is a mess” is the unspoken reason many parents freeze up talking to their kids
• How to raise the subject with your spouse without triggering defensiveness (“we’re the problem, let’s work on this together” instead of “you’re the problem”)
• Reframing intimacy as the primary way many husbands connect emotionally — and how Jennifer’s shift in perspective changed everything
• The physical side no one mentions: hormones, exhaustion, nursing, perimenopause, and why a real conversation with your doctor matters
• Simple marriage disciplines that work — the quarterly 24-hour getaway, being (embarrassingly) affectionate in front of your kids, and making the book or the podcast “the bad guy” that starts the conversation
• When to bring in outside help, and letting go of the shame around counseling or a therapist

This is Part 1 of a two-part conversation. Part 2 is coming, with another special guest — so subscribe and stay tuned.

Resources & books mentioned:

• Barrett & Jennifer Johnson — InfoForFamilies.com, including their talk Sex & Marriage: Moving from “Not Tonight” to “We Can’t Wait”
• Intimate Issues — Linda Dillow & Lorraine Pintus
• A Celebration of Sex — Dr. Douglas Rosenau
• Sheila Wray Gregoire — To Love, Honor and Vacuum (a listener favorite — more on her in an upcoming episode!)

Related listening — the Johnson family arc: 👉 When Your Kid Discovers Porn: A Parent’s Guide — the companion conversation on guiding kids through what they stumble into online.

Connect with the show: Email info@homeschoolingirl.com · Facebook /homeschoolingirl · and if this one helped, leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts — even just the stars.

This episode is brought to you by CTC Math — a complete K–12 math curriculum with short, engaging video lessons that fit your family’s schedule. Start a free trial today.