Is Courtship Fundamentally Flawed – HIRL Episode 26

A Production of the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

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HIRL_Episode026On this episode of HomeschoolingIRL, Fletch and Kendra tackle the topic of courtship and dating in the homeschool family. They interview Thomas Umstattd, Jr. to discuss his popular viral blog post:  Why Courtship Is Fundamentally Flawed.

Timeline for this episode:
13:45 – Thomas talks about his blogpost and why he wrote it.

26:38 – Fletch and Kendra pepper Thomas with questions his critics may ask.

34:12 – Find out if Fletch has always been bald. Learn how many guys Kendra has dated, and hear all about their first date as Fletch and Kendra play “Q and A with K and A”

Join Fletch (from theMangoTimes) and Kendra (from Preschoolers and Peace) for the HomeschoolingIRL podcast every two weeks as they interview guests and talk through some of the goofiness they have experienced in nearly two decades of Homeschooling In Real Life.


  1. Our daughter had a “failed” engagement. The point Mr. Umstattd made about young men who are good at lying are favored by the fathers. And Kendra’s follow up about pornography issue, both hit the nail on the head. Our daughter’s fiance was a great liar, unfortunately. Our younger children were just as hurt and confused as our daughter by his abrupt break up. He did confess in his one and only message via Facebook announcing he couldn’t marry our daughter that he had a much worse problem with porn than he had originally confessed to our daughter and pastor during pre-marital counseling.

    • Thanks so much Shannon for your willingness to share your story here in the comments! We’ve had a similar failed engagement in our family. Believe it or not, it was the young woman with the sin pattern that was exposed just a few days before the wedding. This is a good thing to have these discussions OUT LOUD. That is why we talk so frequently about the gospel and the freedom the gospel brings. For years, Christian homeschoolers have been “keeping up appearances.” We have been locked into a mode that keeps us from being “real” with one another, because it might show we’ve failed (Or that our kids are broken individuals). Like Thomas said, we need to reverse this trend and teach the next generation that we are ALL broken and remember that we ALL rely on the grace of God.
      Thanks again! Make sure to listen to the exclusive content Thomas shared. He offered even more great discussion:

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