Moms Fill Up Your Tank

Moms Fill UP Your Tank ~ Episode 492

When moms are empty, there is nothing to give; in this episode, we discuss how to fill up your tank so that you can pour out the best to your family. Join Felice as she shares her struggles and victories as a busy mom, business owner, and homeschooler.

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Each of us measures success differently. Maybe success is getting the laundry washed, dried, folded, and put away all in one day. For someone else, success is getting through the day without spills and serving sibling squabbles. For another, it might mean figuring out a pesky Algebra problem. For me, success means accomplishing something no matter what I do.

I invite you to visit my website for a selection of Character Planners here for your kids, just in time for any season.

Years ago, I would not have created a podcast on this topic because I am what I would call a mommy martyr. What is the definition of a mommy martyr? That is someone who doesn’t think they need any help and can do everything on their own!

I struggled with thinking I needed any time for myself. I thought it was selfish if I wanted a few minutes to regroup, change my clothes, or even use the restroom without an audience. Any mom with kids under five totally understands what I am saying. So, it is no wonder that we sag at the end of the day and are greet our spouses with lackluster enthusiasm. As a young mom, my wonderful and caring mother-in-law shared a book with me that caused me to laugh so hard I had tears in my eyes.

It spoke of being showered, dressed and ready at the end of each day to greet your spouse. To be fair, I don’t go anywhere without some eye makeup on – that is just me. I don’t like to look like I am dragging, and it is amazing what a little mascara and a light coating of eyeliner can do to make my eyes pop! Not that it is the same for everyone. But if we look good, even for ourselves, it is a blessing to others. Of course, the lady on the cover wore heels, no less. She considered this the guide to being a good mother and housewife. But nowhere within the pages was this lady a homeschool mom – and that friend makes us unique. As homeschool moms, we don’t get that daily break of having kids at school, but even parents whose kids go to school find their days filled with all types of activities, many family-focused.

How can we divide our day to give ourselves a break? A good friend shared that she would switch off time with another homeschool parent. Maybe they had craft days during this time, but instead of using her time grocery shopping or cleaning, she spent the time at the park praising God or praying in some way. She said that filled her up with the love of God to the point that she was ready to tackle the rest of the week. For me, that time of prayer was in the morning during my first cup of coffee. I had a chair in my bedroom and had instructed my little ones to wait until I was done for breakfast and prayer time with them. My husband left early in the morning, and I used the time after he went to work to pray. The kids learned early on that if they interrupted me with something unnecessary, in their words, “Mommy was grouchy all day.”

What is helpful to you? If you have little ones, the answer might be just getting them down for naps or sleeping all night. It is different for each of us, depending on the stage of life we are in. However, filling up the time that we have can take minutes. Here are some helpful ideas, and please use this as a jumping-off point. We moms are great multi-taskers! Perhaps doing one of these things while doing something else will be useful. Playing music while folding laundry. Listening to a favorite podcast while emptying or filling the dishwasher. These small things can be so helpful! One mom told me she and her children listened to my podcasts while painting a room. I have specific podcasts that I call the “Just for Kids Series,” and these are available as well. Whatever that is, it may take some planning, but it is helpful.

Truly friends, sometimes it takes seeing a short list of ideas to spark our own. It really boils down to planning your time wisely. If we do this, we can easily increase the time in our day. Our checklist planners and our current free offering, our “Organize IT” monthly planners, are designed to help moms as well. These are available on the MediaAngels.com website or to our subscribers of this network. You can sign up here for our weekly eZine and planners.

Quick Ideas For Moms

Take time in the early morning for yourself, whether that is a cup of coffee, tea, or your favorite drink. A prayer meditation on an app, or the Bible, something that fills you with joy, is helpful.
Music – do you have a playlist of favorite songs? When you need that, pick up and listen to one!
Use an essential oil diffuser – it is amazing how a little bit of lavender goes a long way, or whatever your favorite scent.
Changing out of your PJs – I know we like to be comfortable. But either make the day jammies day, and the entire family can sit around in loungewear or change after breakfast. I always feel better when I start the day fresh.
Put on light makeup. This does wonders for me. Once, I tried going without eyeliner, and everyone kept telling me I looked tired when I was not! Try looking your best for yourself!

If you have a little extra time, here are some things I enjoy that may be helpful; again, remember to make up your own list of things, even if it is a wish list at this point in time.

Longer Ideas for Moms

Read a good book. Sure, it may take a month to get through to the end, but at least you have something to look forward to at the end of the day.
Listen to an audiobook; I have a subscription to an audiobook service and listen in the car while doing errands. The public library has free services.
Plan a date night. Even if it is in the home after the kids are in bed, it is something to look forward to! My husband and I take turns asking each other out via text. It really lifts my mood during the day. One of my friends trades off with her husband, and each week one of them plans an outing for the other.
Downtime. Go to the park or just out for a drive alone if you need time for solitude. As one mom shared, “I wish someone would put me in my room for time out!” If you can’t get away, allow your kids movie time and retreat to your room for some quiet time alone. When I suggested this to a friend, she looked at me as if I was brilliant; the thought had never occurred to her.
Sitting outdoors and observing nature. This is so soothing to me. It is not in my nature to sit and enjoy my surroundings but when I do I am so blessed. The other day a red cardinal sat on our backyard fence singing, which was so beautiful — but instead of just enjoying it I had to find my phone and snap a picture. Trying to slow down and fill up does not come easy, but when we do, we will be happy we did.

I so wish we were in a room chatting to share ideas, but I hope some of these were helpful or, at the least, gave you ideas of your own. We, moms, are unique. We give our time and efforts to our kids, and it is a thankless job but something we would do all over again and again. We signed up for this, and I pray you are blessed in your own journey and living the dream!