Raising Kids, Losing Yourself – HIRL Episode 80

A Production of the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

Sharing is caring!

Free homeschooling podcast about taking time to nurture yourselfOn this episode, HIRLer Chris calls in and asks us: “How can I be a good homeschooling parent raising kids and still take time for the things that feed my soul and bring me joy?”

We jumped on this topic, because we love to remind homeschoolers not to “lose themselves”in the midst of schooling the family.

We answer the most important question: “How can you be a good care-taker if you are not taking care of yourself?” The short answer is: You can’t! You will need to tune in for the rest of the discussion to hear Fletch and Kendra sit down for another honest discussion about the importance of nurturing your soul in the midst of caring for others.

3:57 – Introduction
7:13 – Part 1: What Happens When We Forget Ourselves?

19:44 – Part 2: The Importance of Nurturing Ourselves
37:42 – Wrapping It All Up


Recommended Resources:

Previous Episodes Mentioned:
Depression and the Homeschool Mom, Episode 60
I Love Homeschooling, But I’m Totally Burned Out, Episode 70
What Homeschooling Does To A Marriage? Episode 17

Music clips used on this episode:
Just Showed Up For My Own Life – Sara Groves – Go buy it on iTunes
All Of Me – John Legend – Go buy it on iTunes


Allow the magic of the internet to deliver Homeschooling In Real Life to your tablet or smart phone. Let us show you how easy it is:

  1. Follow this link to our iTunes page.
  2. IMPORTANT STEP: Under our big red HomeschoolingIRL logo, just click on View in iTunes
  3. The iTunes program will automatically launch and take you to our podcast page.
  4. FIRST – Click SUBSCRIBE. Voila! All or our podcasts will come directly to your computer and smart phone.
  5. NEXT – Click RATINGS AND REVIEW. Remember the best reviews are 5-stars (hint hint!).
  6. Thanks for being one of our listeners! HIRLers rock!


  1. You can listen right on this page. There is an audio player below.
  2. You can listen on your iPod, Smartphone or tablet. Open the PODCAST app on your device, search podcasts for “HomeschoolingIRL” and click subscribe. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.
  3. Subscribe to the HomeschoolingIRL website and you will be notified when every new episode is released. Follow this link and begin your FREE SUBSCRIPTION.




Please visit our coffee sponsor: Caroline’s Coffee for 10% off any order.


Check out these cool HomeschoolingIRL Coffee Tumblers from HIRLer Cyndi Newman



Are you ready to listen to Fletch and Kendra get real about homeschooling? Press the PLAY button below.

Join Fletch (from theMangoTimes) and Kendra (from Preschoolers and Peace and KendraFletcher.com) for the HomeschoolingIRL podcast every week as they interview guests and talk through some of the goofiness they have experienced in nearly two decades of Homeschooling In Real Life.


  1. Hi Kendra and Fletch,

    I loved your show. But, I am in the nitty-gritty years with young kids (6 of them aged 2-12), homeschooling, part of a church plant, and taking care of my father-in-law. I feel like I already take a lot of time for self care because I have to go to the doctor often because of an autoimmune disease. I need (and love!) to exercise but usually don’t have time. So, I have two questions for you…1) do you regret spending the time you did with your children when they were all young and you were not able to do something like a ballet class, and 2) when should a parent stop homeschooling because the demands are too much to be able to take care of self, husband, and kids PLUS school the kids? One thing that is NEVER talked about in the HS community is just what the signs are of needing to just quit homeschooling (when I say quit, I mean placing the children in school.) Thank you so much for your program.

    • Kendra Fletcher says

      Oh Amy Sue, I so get this! I’m glad you asked. YES. There are seasons, sometimes what seems to us unbearably long, when we must put aside nearly everything else. I was in that season for at least a decade when our 6 oldest kids were the ages of yours. The difference might be that I never gave myself permission and always felt guilty if I did things like lock the bathroom door and take a bubble bath (with Fletch overseeing the kids, of course!) So to answer your questions:

      1. Not one moment. But as I stated above, if I could go back, I would welcome the opportunities I did have to catch my breath rather than burden myself with the untruth that those opportunities were selfish. Somehow, too, I thought my kids must have me 24/7, because surely no one else would do as good a job caring for them. Yikes. Hopeshifting and idolatry all rolled into one.

      2. There is no one right way to answer this. If you are feeling very much called to homeschool your kids, then I have every confidence that God will make a way, and it will be beautiful. I think if you know that it’s time to seek a different educational opportunity, it will be the best decision because God will be in that, too. Keep abiding in Him, keep listening for the Holy Spirit, keep soaking in His Word. James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” Now THAT’S stunning truth!

      Love to you,

  2. I very much enjoy the encouragement you guys provide for the H’S community! This session gave me some good things to ponder on and I love the oxygen mask picture! Maybe more than myself I thought of my husband as I listened and began to wonder how I can help him find something for just him! Thanks again!

    • Hey Jade! Thanks for reaching out to us. Yes, both of you should think through this and make sure you each have something that feeds your soul! I’m typing this in preparation to leave for a hike in the CA sierras for the day with my boys. It’s what feeds my soul this weekend. – Fletch

Speak Your Mind


travel checklist planner
Share via
Copy link