How to Handle Bullying, Interview with Candice Dugger

A Production of the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

This week on Homeschool Highschool Podcast: How to Handle Bullying, Interview with Candice Dugger.

How to Handle Bullying, Interview with Candice Dugger

How to Handle Bullying, Interview with Candice Dugger

BTW- before we start I love the photo of the girl above. She has don’t-even-try-to-bully-me nonverbals!

We are so glad this week to talk again to our friend, Candice Dugger, whose work and ministry is to help young people heal from bullying. Not only that, she works to help young people, families and organizations create a safe, anti-bullying culture. This week we will talk about how to handle bullying and build some conflict resolution skills.

Many of our podcast family know Candice, but for those of you who are new, let’s share a bit about her story. Candice was happily working in the business world for years when she was sidelined with a serious illness. During that time, she almost lost her son to suicide when he was twelve years old due to horrific bullying.

Candice found that the bullies were present in everywhere her son’s life because the same bullies were in his school, church and scouting groups. She realized the leaders in these institutions were not equipped to help her son or change the culture. So, true to Candice’s can-do style, she created an organization to help: Bullied, Broken and Redeemed.

Bullied, Broken and Redeemed has helped many young people and organizations heal and turn things around.

These days Candice is trying to get the word out about the “GenZ bullying” that young people are experiencing. They are experiencing bullying not only in their in-person lives but:

  • in the social media world
  • online gaming
  • even revenge porn

She has resources for young people and families who have been affected by these GenZ bullying harms, as well as community leaders who want tools to help.

Let’s talk about conflict resolution and handling bullying

You may have notice that traditional conflict resolution skills do not work when trying to handle a bully. So the first step in dealing with a tense situation is to train young people to discern whether this is:

  • Stress or conflict with a person OR
  • A bullying situation

How to identify a bully

Break it down into three easy steps called ARP:

  1. Is the behavior aggressive?
  2. Also, is it repeated or a strong probability of threat?
  3. Is there a power imbalance?

If there are those three things, bullying is present.

Also, remember: The intention of a bully’s actions is not about conflict.

In normal conflict situations (because conflict is part of the human experience), at the end of the conflict event, both parties are upset. Not only that, but both parties want to restore the relationship and create a resolution. Normal conflict is an occasional, not a frequent, event.

Normal conflict can be hurtful but usually does not leave deep, emotional scars.

Bullying is different than normal conflict

A bully’s goals are to:

  • Overpower another person
  • Harm them
  • Inflict pain on them

They do not wish to resolve a problem with their victim. In fact, they do not want the situation to stop.

Unfortunately, over time, some bullies learn skills that help them perpetuate the bullying behaviors. For instance, when confronted by an adult authority figure like teacher or coach, they will put on a smile and act like they want to resolve the problem. Unfortunately, as soon as the adult is not looking, they go back to the bullying behavior.

Bullying can leave deep emotional scars and psychological issues like Post-traumatic Stress Disorder that can last into adulthood. That is why Candice is working so hard to help!

What to do to help young people handle bullying?

So, we do not want to train our young people to use their conflict resolution skills on bullies. They use their conflict resolution skills with family, friends and their groups situations. Most of life will require these skills on occasion. That is great.

Now, let’s look at some handle-bullying skills!

  • Start with evaluating: Is this a bullying situation?

    • Do the ARP. If it is bullying, proceed.
  • Note what kind of bullying is occurring

    • In person
    • Cyberbullying
    • Gaming bullying
    • Family member bullying
  • Do not engage with the bully

    • If it is online: Block the bully
    • If it is in person: Walk away
  • Remind young people that if they are bullied, it is not their fault

    • They are not being bullied because of something they did.
  • Help them become less a target

    • In person: Learn empowered non-verbals (this is something we teach in 7Sisters Social Skills booklet)
      • Shoulders back
      • Chin up
      • Walk with purpose
    • If they are in a situation, teach them to remove themselves
      • Discuss this with your young people.
        • Develop a plan together on how they can remove themselves from a situation that feels like it will become unsafe.
        • Choose a “code word” that they can text you or say to you in a group situation
    • Talk early and often about bullying and tell them never to keep secrets from you, even if a bully tells them not to tell!
      • Let them know that you will always be there to listen and help.
  • As an adult, beware of retaliation bullying

    • Remember, normal conflict resolution skills do not work in handling bullying situations.
      • If you put the bully and a victim in a room together to force them to “solve their problems”, there will likely be a retaliation against the victim later
    • If you are in leadership at an organization, help set anti-bullying policies
    • As a parent, train your children with anti-bullying skills
  • Train teens that if they see bullying, report it!

  • As a parent, if your young person is being bullied: document, document, document!

    • Take screen shots, keep notes and logs
  • Also, find your young person some support

By the way, these tools are the same tools that we adults can use in our adult world. That is because bullies do not always outgrow their bullying behaviors.

Check out Candice’s resources at Bullied, Broken and Redeemed for texts, classes and more. Her program includes a .5 credit towards a Health class for homeschool high school transcripts.

Not only that, please check out these interviews with Candace on Homeschool Highschool Podcast:

Join Vicki and Candace for a helpful conversation on handling bullying.


  1. Follow this link to our iTunes page.
  2. IMPORTANT STEP: Under our Homeschool Highschool Podcast logo, click on View in iTunes
  3. This will take you to iTunes and our own podcast page.
  4. Click SUBSCRIBE.
  5. Click RATINGS AND REVIEW. (Please take a minute and do this. It helps others find us. Thanks!)
  6. Thanks!


  1. Tap the purple Podcast icon on your phone
  2. Tap the search icon on the bottom-right of your screen
  3. In the search bar type: Homeschool Highschool Podcast
  4. Tap the Homeschool Highschool Podcast icon
  5. Tap *Subscribe*
  6. Please tap *Ratings and Review* and give us some stars and a comment to help others find us more easily.
  7. Thanks

When They’re Being Bullied – MBFLP 244

A Production of the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

Studies and surveys tell us up to 49% of school kids (grades 4-12) have been bulled in the past month – but homeschoolers aren’t immune to threats and intimidation. This episode, we talk with Candice Dugger of BulliedBrokenRedeemed, about what to look for if your child’s being bullied,what you can do to help the situation, and more importantly, how to help your child heal.

Visit their website,

We deal with this issue in our book Raising Real Men too – you can get your copy at (where else?)


Bullies and What to Do About Them – MBFLP 176

A Production of the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

One of the reasons many people start homeschooling is to avoid “negative peer interaction,” which often means bullying. Sadly, though, it can happen at church, at homeschool meetings, or simply any gathering of kids. It can even happen inside your own family! This episode, we’re talking about approaches for dealing with bullying situations – how should we parents respond, how can we help the victims, and what can be done about the perpetrators.

(Check out our article, “Five Things to Do When Your Child is Being Picked On”)

Name Calling – MBFLP 148

A Production of the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.


Sticks and stones … right? We’ve all heard that, and probably told our kids that one time or another. Yet name-calling is not only a plague of childhood, it’s actually a problem throughout life … and we adults are warned by Christ Himself to be wary of the temptation! This episode, we look at what the Bible says about a deceptively simple and “harmless” practice that can trip us up when we least expect it!

Online Stories We Mentioned

“Young Adolescents as Likely to Die From Suicide as From Traffic Accidents,” N.Y. Times, 11/3/16

“Nation’s Christians Look Forward to Questioning Each Other’s Salvation in Post-Debate Discussions.” Babylon Bee, 10/19/16 (Note: SATIRE)

Selected Scriptures We Referenced 

“[The tongue is] an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. … My brethren, these things ought not to be so.” — James (James 3:8-10)

“The law is fulfilled in this one word, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!” — Paul (Galatians 5:14-15)

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this, all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”  — Jesus (John 13:34-35)



This program is brought to you in part by
Schoolhouse Teachers banner-468x60Click here for more information!


Freedom from Mean Girls

A Production of the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.


Freedom from Mean Girls – Sarah Jeffords, Laura Nolette, and Meredith Curtis

This show is for young women who are struggling with toxic relationships. All of us deal with rejection sometimes, but when it comes during the young teen years, it can be devastating. What happens when you are excluded from girl cliques, gossiped about, or betrayed? Recover from and rebuild confidence so you can enjoy healthy relationships in the future. There is a word of advice to moms and dads at the end.



Our Sponsors GG


MBFLP 102 – Family Life Q&A

A Production of the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

QandA - V 600x900

One thing we’ve seen since we started this ministry is how often families encounter the same questions, the same problems. You’re not alone, and this episode we talk about several questions we’ve heard recently!

Show Highlights

1:31 – What do you do when fellow church members are hostile toward your parenting decisions?
5:40 – How do you manage bullying, including in your own home?
10:47 – When should you begin handing over personal responsibility to your budding adult kids?
15:24 – What should I do, now that I caught my 10-year-old watching sex on YouTube?
20:09 – What’s your decision process for extracurricular activities, especially for younger kids?
23:13 – How do you survive parenting an active little boy?

MBFLP 90 – Boys and Noise

A Production of the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

Got boys? Then probably, you’ve got noise! This week we turn to a reader’s question about how to manage the volume (and tone!) of her energetic houseful of boys … four of them, eight and under. We’ve been there, and we’ll talk about the difference between simple boyishness and the things that actually need discipline, how to distinguish between fun and bullying, and more — join us!

MBFLP – Boy Question Free-For-All

A Production of the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

Another of our popular sessions answering your questions about raising sons —

  • How can you encourage sons to pursue their individual gifts?
  • How do you keep rough-and-tumble from coming fighting and bullying?
  • How do you teach your sons not to look down on their sisters for being girls?
  • How can you help make your faith their own?
  • What do you do about embarrassing behaviors in public?

And more!