Raising Siblings Without Rivalry – Part 2 – MBFLP 253-2

Part 2 – Making Competition Helpful, Not Harmful

Help your children compete without conflict

When you’ve got more than one child, you are going to have challenges. How can you teach them to play together and enjoy games without the older ones overrunning the younger? We had six boys over a twelve-year span, so we had to figure this out! This episode, we’re talking about some practical ways to make family competition helpful, not harmful.

Games, sports, and competition are Biblical. Remember the Bible often describes our Christian lives as a race (Acts 20:24, 2 Timothy 4:7, Hebrews 12:1). The apostle Paul points out that you only win when you play by the rules and discipline yourself by training (1 Corinthians 9:24-27). We wrote a whole chapter about this in our book Raising Real Menbut we agree with the old theologians – games can be a great way to learn skills and exercise our minds and bodies, if they’re done in the right attitude.

Ways to Make it Work

Recognize that older siblings and younger siblings may not appreciate how different they are. Depending on the child and the range of ages and development, you will have to coach your older, bigger, stronger kids to take it easy on the little siblings. Teenagers can’t react to their five-year-old brother like he was another teen. We made it a matter of honor for our boys to restrain their impulse to hit back when a little one hurt them. On the other hand, younger ones need to be reminded that bigger kids are bigger, and it’s not wise to treat them like they were elementary-age peers, either. The idea that “We’re all equals in the eyes of God and our parents,” is good, but you have to remember that equality of status and equality of value do not mean equal capability or strength!

“Compete against the clock and your own best time.” We found our boys of all ages like to race the clock on math worksheets. The fact that one is doing third-grade work for the first time, and older brother is doing the same practice sheets he did five years ago, doesn’t matter when each one is racing himself.

Give younger kids a handicap. Let the older kids start further back, or give the younger ones a head start. Or let the younger ones choose or answer first, so the older ones don’t jump ahead every turn. Even up the playing field a bit.

Create teams across the ages. This is really effective with board games. The oldest child is paired with the youngest, and the next oldest with the next youngest – for example, the 15-year-old with the 5-year-old, playing against the 12-year-old and 9-year-old. You can also make the rule that the older team member can’t touch the board; he has to talk with his younger teammate and persuade him to move the pieces or play the cards strategically. Often, the youngest children just want to move the pieces, anyway – it’s the older kids who get the grand design of the game!

Part 1 – [ Principles for Preventing Sibling Rivalry ]

Next Segment – Building Friendship Between Your Kids

 

Competition that's healthy, not harmful

Part 2 –

The Best of HIRL: The Quiet Fight Between Women

Free homeschool podcast discussing the quiet fight between women with Angie Tolpin.There is a quiet fight going on under the surface in homeschooling for a long time.

“Let’s face it. The quiet fight between women in homeschooling often comes down to pride.” – Angie Tolpin

We dive back into familiar waters on this episode and tackle the issue of competition and pride that we see generally among women in the church, but specifically within the walls of homeschooling.

“You know there are greater possibilities of friendship and Christian fellowship in your life. And yet — despite your best intentions — there is something in the way, something holding you back from your spiritual growth with your sisters in Christ. But what is it? A silence. A distance with no name. A weapon of the enemy fashioned to drive us apart and stop us from creating the fellowship we need for our growth in Christ.  Something so subtle you might never understand it alone, much less be able to overcome it.” –The Quiet Fight Between Women

Fletch and Kendra sit down with author Angie Tolpin and haven an honest discussion about the reasons women have a difficult time connecting or feel as if there is an undercurrent of comparison and competition running through our relationships. Join them on this episode as they talk again about how Jesus changes our communication and frees us to stand shoulder to shoulder with each other as we seek to bring glory to God.

Timeline
1:02 – Introduction
13:00 – Angie Tolpin Interview, 1
26:30 – Angie Tolpin Interview, 2
38:30 – Q and A with K and A

Music clips used on this show:

“Scheming Weasel” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

 


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The Quiet Fight Between Women – HIRL Episode 56

Free homeschool podcast discussing the quiet fight between women with Angie Tolpin.There is a quiet fight going on under the surface in homeschooling for a long time.

“Let’s face it. The quiet fight between women in homeschooling often comes down to pride.” – Angie Tolpin

We dive back into familiar waters on this episode and tackle the issue of competition and pride that we see generally among women in the church, but specifically within the walls of homeschooling.

“You know there are greater possibilities of friendship and Christian fellowship in your life. And yet — despite your best intentions — there is something in the way, something holding you back from your spiritual growth with your sisters in Christ. But what is it? A silence. A distance with no name. A weapon of the enemy fashioned to drive us apart and stop us from creating the fellowship we need for our growth in Christ.  Something so subtle you might never understand it alone, much less be able to overcome it.” –The Quiet Fight Between Women

Fletch and Kendra sit down with author Angie Tolpin and haven an honest discussion about the reasons women have a difficult time connecting or feel as if there is an undercurrent of comparison and competition running through our relationships. Join them on this episode as they talk again about how Jesus changes our communication and frees us to stand shoulder to shoulder with each other as we seek to bring glory to God.

Timeline
1:02 – Introduction
13:00 – Angie Tolpin Interview, 1
26:30 – Angie Tolpin Interview, 2
38:30 – Q and A with K and A

 

Show Notes

 

HIRL_HEDUA_Magazine

Please visit our coffee sponsor: Caroline’s Coffee for 10% off any order.

 

Music clips used on this show:

“Scheming Weasel” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/


Join Fletch (from theMangoTimes) and Kendra (from Preschoolers and Peace and KendraFletcher.com) for the HomeschoolingIRL podcast every week as they interview guests and talk through some of the goofiness they have experienced in nearly two decades of Homeschooling In Real Life.

MBFLP – Christ Centered Sports

MBFLP Christ Centered SportsThis is the biggest sports season of the year–the weeks leading to the Super Bowl. Even non-fans get excited about the spectacle to come. But some Christians say that believers shouldn’t be involved in competitive sports at all. This week we look at the Biblical view of sports–yes, there is one!–and talk with Earl Pendleton, founder and director of a massive homeschool football program which truly puts CHRIST at the center.