How to Motivate Teens, Interview with Connie Albers

This week on Homeschool Highschool Podcast: How to Motivate Teens, Interview with Connie Albers.

How to Motivate Teens, Interview with Connie Albers. Tips for helping teens find their motivation for life preparation and success. #HomeschoolHighSchoolPodcast #HomeschoolHighSchool #MotivatingTeens #HowToMotivateTeens #ConnieAlbers

How to Motivate Teens, Interview with Connie Albers

Most of us homeschool moms would rather motivate than manage our homeschool high schoolers. Motivating teens is an important topic.  That is why we asked one of our favorite motivational speakers, Connie Albers, to talk about ways to be successful motivator!

As you know, Connie Albers is the author of Parenting Beyond the Rules: Raising Teens with Confidence and Joy. She is a homeschool mom of five (all the kids have graduated now) and leader, as well as speaker and interviewee on popular podcasts such as Focus on the Family (catch an interview with her on Focus on the Family at this link).

Connie joined Sabrina and Vicki for a delightful discussion about how to motivate teens.

Connie Albers

Connie Albers
Photo used with permission.

Connie’s five adult children all have had different temperaments and learning styles. She learned a lot about how to work joyfully with teens through all her experiences with them. As she finished her homeschool adventures with the last graduation, Connie felt led by God to share what she has learned by going to her homeschooling sisters with her hands stretched out and help answer the questions:

  • Is it worth it?
  • Can I make it?
  • How do I actually do it?

(That’s SOOO kindred spirit with 7Sisters! That’s why we LOVE Connie!)

Connie believes every homeschool high schooler needs a picture of what could possibly be for them:

  • What are their future possibilities?
  • What can they contribute to society and to their families?
  • What can they do to make themselves to feel good about themselves? (As you have probably noticed, some teens may have a little too much confidence, but most of them are wrestling with the questions of: Who am I? Why am I here? What am I supposed to do? What is special about me? Why do I feel bad about myself?)

The excited thing is that we homeschool moms can learn to motivate our teens by:

  • Studying our teens
  • Spitting out what we see in a way that builds their confidence and gives them glimmers of hope about what they can do if they are willing to put the time and effort into cultivating their talents and gifts

Connie has found that what teens need for motivation is loving communication:

Do not belittle a teen’s struggle by saying things like:

  • Oh, it’s easy…
  • Oh, it’s simple all you have to do is…

This actually makes our teens feel dumb. It’s only easy to us because we have already mastered the tasks. To our homeschool high schoolers much of what they are learning is hard. Higher academics levels are difficult. Teens have to not only learn but to learn they must become:

  • Masters of time management
  • Developed in higher levels of thinking

Instead, say things like:

  • What about this is giving you a hard time?
  • What part of this don’t you understand?
  • How can I explain this in a different way?
  • How about we take a break from this and do something different for a little while?

All of these give our teens the idea that we value, understand and respect them.

Teens: We have to strengthen their strengths and teach them to manage their weaknesses. Connie Albers on the Homeschool HighSchool Podcast #HomeschoolHighSchoolPodcast #HomeSchoolHighSchool #FindingTeenStrengths #ConnieAlbers

This leads to the idea that when we motivate our teens, we have to understand what their strengths are. Some homeschool high schoolers are good at math but not everyone is good at math. Other teens are gifted in other areas.

We have to strengthen their strengths and teach them to manage their weaknesses.

So, some teens are not good at algebra. That is not their strength, but they do need to know how to budget, go to the grocery store, do their taxes, how to invest and borrow. Manage the weakness by specializing in the practical.

So as parent, you can say to your homeschool high schoolers: I see this in you, point out the strengths and help to build them. It is like laying a stone path for them: stone by stone you build the path, so that they can continue to take the next path.

Then if they get a B on an algebra test, you do not have to get upset because are not trying to turn a weakness into a strength.

Teens become motivated when the realize they don’t have to be good at everything, they have to be great at a few things.

This increases teens confidence. Confidence is motivating! When teens are motived they are less likely to be resistant and bitter toward their parents.

As a homeschool mom you have the ability to customize education to help your teens to build their strengths and compensate for their weaknesses.

How can you help teens build those strengths?

  • Find mentors who are interested in the same time.
  • Give teens time to daydream and create.
  • Give them downtime.
  • Find courses and volunteer work that give them a taste of that strength

God has made each teen creative, innovative problem-solvers. But often by the time teens reach high school, we have driven this out of them because we have things they need to accomplish and checklists to fulfill. We haven’t given them time to foster the creativity and innovation. Don’t fall for that. Give your teens time.

Remember: in ten years eighty percent of the current jobs will not exist. People who are creative and adapt quickly, who aren’t afraid to try new things and picture new things will become problem solvers for the changing economy and job markets.

Help homeschool high schoolers to develop flexibility while they develop interests by giving them extra options!

  • Ask your homeschool high schoolers, “I invite you to consider…” to keep options open and flexible.
  • Then outline the “Why” of why they might want to consider that idea.

Communication and strength-building helps to motive teens!

Connect with Connie Albers:

When you see her talk at conferences, be sure you say “Hi!”, she loves that!

Join Connie, Sabrina and Vick for an inspiring and encouraging discussion on how to motivate teens.

For more on discovering and exploring your homeschool high schoolers’ interests:

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO HSHSP VIA COMPUTER

  1. Follow this link to our iTunes page.
  2. IMPORTANT STEP: Under our Homeschool Highschool Podcast logo, click on View in iTunes
  3. This will take you to iTunes and our own podcast page.
  4. Click SUBSCRIBE.
  5. Click RATINGS AND REVIEW. (Please take a minute and do this. It helps others find us. Thanks!)
  6. Thanks!

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE VIA iPHONE

  1. Tap the purple Podcast icon on your phone
  2. Tap the search icon on the bottom-right of your screen
  3. In the search bar type: Homeschool Highschool Podcast
  4. Tap the Homeschool Highschool Podcast icon
  5. Tap *Subscribe*
  6. Please tap *Ratings and Review*

How to Motivate Teens, Interview with Connie Albers

Emphasizing Relationships with Your Teens, Interview with Connie Albers

This week on Homeschool Highschool Podcast: Emphasizing Relationships with Your Teens, Interview with Connie Albers.

Emphasizing Relationships with Your Teens, Interview with Connie Albers. Build relationships over enforcing rules to help your teens fulfill who God made them to be. #HomeschoolHighSchoolPodcast #ConnieAlbers #RelationshipsBeforeRules #ParentingTeens

Emphasizing Relationships with Your Teens, Interview with Connie Albers

We are so excited this week to be joined by a special friend, Connie Albers. Connie is a homeschool mom and leader, guest on Focus on the Family and author of a parenting book that we love: Parenting Beyond the Rules: Raising Teens with Confidence and Joy.

As you may have noticed, we 7Sisters do not talk often about parenting philosophies. There are several reasons for this:

  • There’s not one kind of child or teen
  • There’s not one kind of parent
  • There’s not a one-size-fits-all kind of parenting philosophy, in our opinion

The lovely thing about Connie’s book, Parenting Beyond the Rules, is that she is not offering a philosophy, simply a discussion about the necessity of emphasizing relationships when raising teens. When we read her book, we felt like she was reading our thoughts. We 7Sisters have always said what our friend and fellow podcaster, Melanie Wilson at Homeschool Sanity, always says: relationship over rules!

Connie Albers

Connie Albers
Photo used with permission.

So, we asked Connie if she would join us for a discussion about the importance of relationship building with our teens. Join us for an inspiring interview.

Connie homeschooled her five kids through graduation (including several years of having five teens at the same time). Connie found that her teens rarely jumped out of bed happy and chomping at the bit to do their calculus lessons. But, Connie found a few secrets that helped her and her teens through these years:

She found that when you prioritize relationships through coming to know:

  • our teens’ temperament
  • the heart of our teens
  • what’s going on around them
  • then, there is less grumpiness and rebellion!

Emphasizing relationships is not easy. It takes longer to walk along beside teens. Concepts and life in general, is harder for adolescents. Teens often doubt themselves. It is easy for them to think they were standing in the wrong lane when smarts were handed out.

You have the job to discover, develop and cultivate the gifts God has given each teen, so that they can be the person God has made them to be (not to be their brother, or mother, or friend).

You have the job to discover and cultivate the gifts that God has given each teen. Connie Albers shares how to emphasize relationships to develop teens' gifts. #HomeschoolHighSchoolPodcast #ConnieAlbers #ParentingTeens #BuildingRelationshipsWithTeens

How can you discover and develop your teen’s gifts? Connie suggests:

  • Observe the little things your teens do
    • Become a student of your teen.
    • Connie kept a notebook on each kid where she jotted down interesting observations. She found that over time, these observations helped her help her kids discover their gifts.
  • Notice what your teen could spend all day (even skip lunch because it is so interesting)
    • What are the paths of their curiosity?
    • What are their interests? Daydreams? Wondering?
  • Plant seeds of possibilities
    • I noticed this about you…
  • Reframe personality glitches, to help them work towards good rather than glitches
    • Words need to fall into a tender place in your teens’ heart
    • Show them the positives and negatives of personality styles
  • Help them find places to use these gifts for God’s glory and relationship building
    • Let them know you believe in them and are encouraging them all
    • This infuses them with determination to dig deeper and build courage

You as a parent, become your teens’ scientist and their guide.

Teen years are sometimes challenging, they are doing the hard job of growing up. #HomeschoolHighSchoolPodcast #ConnieAlbers #ParentingTeens #BuildingRelationshipsWithTeens

Teen years are sometimes challenging. They are trying to push back sometimes because they are doing the hard job of growing up. They are trying to find:

  • When can I assert myself?
  • When can I say something snarky and it not be disrespectful or rude?
  • When can I make my own decision?
  • What will I hear as a result of that decision?

We are archeologists: digging for the treasure in our teens and then polishing it up to help it shine

  • The polishing takes time
  • The polishing takes patience

How do you handle this phase?

  • Keep the end in mind
    • Remember that you are parenting toward the time when they are out of the home and on their own
    • Remember your are not your teens’ best friend.
  • There is a balance of rules they still need and trust them to manage themselves. To keep the balance, we have to master the art of the pivot.
    • Allow them to make some mistakes (blowing an exam because they did not prepare well), then learn from those mistakes.
    • You still have to manage safety.
    • You still have to oversee some self-care.
    • Help them know they are always under some kind of authority, whether it is your or society’s.
  • Remember your calling: Your teens have a calling that you help prepare them for
  • Remember the danger of unbending rules.
    • Establishing relationships means establishing rules that matter,
    • Then begin adjusting or easing off when teens have shown they can manage themselves.
    • Responsible teens have more freedom and thus, more self-government.

These ideas are captured in Connie’s book Parenting Beyond Rules: Raising Teens with Confidence and Joy.

Connie’s purpose in writing her book is to encourage parents to truly enjoy the years with your teens. (They are the best years yet!) It discusses:

  • Casting a vision for your family
  • Understand your teen’s world
  • Understand your teen’s personality
  • Listening to your teen’s words, spoken and silent
  • Monitoring your own mouth
  • Take healthy steps when their is pain or conflict
  • You can be emphasizing relationships during the teen years.

Connie encourages us: Adolescence can be some of the best years, but when the times are painful:

  • You can step back
  • You can listen and be painters of possibilities in our teens’ lives
  • You can remember that they are a masterpiece of God’s making
  • You can be assured that God uses imperfect parents to shape and help teach and train their teens in the way they should go

Connect with Connie at:

Strengthening Families with Connie Albers on FB

And check out this interview with Connie on Focus on the Family.

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO HSHSP VIA COMPUTER

  1. Follow this link to our iTunes page.
  2. IMPORTANT STEP: Under our Homeschool Highschool Podcast logo, click on View in iTunes
  3. This will take you to iTunes and our own podcast page.
  4. Click SUBSCRIBE.
  5. Click RATINGS AND REVIEW. (Please take a minute and do this. It helps others find us. Thanks!)
  6. Thanks!

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE VIA iPHONE

  1. Tap the purple Podcast icon on your phone
  2. Tap the search icon on the bottom-right of your screen
  3. In the search bar type: Homeschool Highschool Podcast
  4. Tap the Homeschool Highschool Podcast icon
  5. Tap *Subscribe*
  6. Please tap *Ratings and Review* and give us some stars and a comment to help others find us more easily.
  7. Thanks!

Emphasizing Relationships with Your Teens, Interview with Connie Albers

Parenting Beyond the Rules with Connie Albers

Parenting Beyond the Rules

Parenting Beyond the Rules with Connie Albers

Podcast #68

Connie Albers joins us today to talk about Parenting Beyond the Rules, which happens to be the title of her new book! We discuss the book and more specifically, how to deal with apps and children. What to look for and why it is important to know what your children are doing on the internet and their devices.

About Book:

 

Parenting teens is one of the most challenging seasons of parenting, isn’t it? While this can be a difficult time of transition for parents and teens, there is hope. You can parent well and build a stronger relationship even through the teen years.

After 30 years of parenting five children and 20 years of working with teens, Connie Albers has witnessed the negative impact of well-intentioned but misguided parenting styles; all focused on managing teens rather than guiding them. But through learning to focus on the hearts of your teens, you can avoid those pitfalls and build relationships that last beyond the transition years as you intentionally learn about, connect with, and listen to your teens. In a world filled with distractions and devices, it is possible to guide their hearts and remain the primary influence in their lives. In Parenting beyond the Rules, you will discover how to raise a teen according to his or her strengths, talents, and personality type, as these things equip teens to manage life.

Join Connie Albers in discovering practical solutions for every parent trying to raise a responsible, godly teenager.

Connie Albers  ConnieAlbers.com

 

Connie will be one of our Keynote Speakers at Convention this year. She will be speaking on these topics and more during the 3 day weekend. Learn about our event and register at www.fpea.com/2019Convention

 

Join us January 4th – on the Carnival Magic

www.FPEA.com/Cruise2020

Join our Facebook Group

Call Carnival 1.800.764.7419 Be sure to use Group# 6GHW24Refresh FPEA Marriage Cruise #cruise #fpea #florida #homeschool #podcast

FPEA Members, Download Your Florida History Adventures+ Bundle