Stopping Sibling Squabbling – MBFLP 213


Stopping Sibling Squabbling

If your child has siblings it’s just about certain they’ll have squabbling. Sibling rivalry of one sort or another is unpleasant but normal – the question for us as parents is, “What can I do about it? How can I deal with the bickering and arguments, to make our home a place of peace and harmony?” In this episode we talk about what we’ve learned raising our family of eight strong-willed, opinionated, energetic, competitive kids!

Stopping Sibling Squabbling

Your Family is Meant to Be an Example

The Bible has many passages which suggest that our family relationships are an illustration of spiritual truths. When Paul talks about the relationship of husbands and wives, he concludes, “This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:32) How can we understand the new relationship of fellow believers in the church? By comparing it to the fellowship of parents to children and siblings with one another (1 Timothy 5:1-2). When Jesus is called “a friend who sticks closer than a brother,” (Proverbs 18:24) that makes no sense if brotherhood is all about fighting, arguments, and hostility!

Some Practical Guidelines

We’ve established some household rules that are meant to create or maintain a culture of peace and harmony!

  1. No Name Calling – Names are important in the Bible, and if our kids have a complaint with one another, theyr’e not allowed to sling nicknames or taunts at each other. Never – not even using a common nickname that the child doesn’t want. If you always go by Edward, you might consider Teddy an undesirable handle!
  2. No Bullying or Pestering – Bullying is using your greater strength, size, or another advantage, to intimidate and persecute other people. Pestering is using your lesser ability to lay traps for the stronger sibling, then running to Mama as a “victim.”
  3. Rejoice With Those Who Rejoice – And weep with those that weep (Romans 12:16). The Bible tells us to come alongside our brethren in the church and share in their feelings. We encourage the same standard with our children.
  4.  Remember We’re On The Same Team – We don’t let our children get a I-win-you-lose mentality toward their siblings, and we encourage them to see one sibling’s success as a victory for Team Family. Sure, they play games and compete that way, but in day to day life, we encourage them to think in terms of cooperation and collaboration, not trying to “beat” their brother or sister.

A Long Term Project

Just a few days ago, two of our teenagers were having a disagreement. Hal sat them down and gave them a simple challenge – that every day, moment by moment, they were making decisions about how to interact. Are they working to build unity, harmony, and love within the family? Or are their words and actions tearing that down?

It’s important to remember two things. First, that this is a life-long process. We still have to remind, rebuke, coach, and encourage our kids, long after they’re teenagers. It’s not a simple checklist on the fridge that fixes everybody’s attitude in an afternoon!

But secondly, we need to keep close in mind that we homeschoolers are the primary source of our children’s socialization. Sure, they may pick up undesirable words or attitudes from media, group meetings, or friends, but since they spend most of their time with their parents, we have to be honest. When we find a social behavior that we don’t like, they may very well be picking it up from us. If the children are disrespectful to Mom, are they following Dad’s example? If they have a sarcastic tone, are they imitating Mom? We need to live our own lives in our family to be a pattern for our kids. The family life they see around their dinner table every day is very likely to be the family life our grandchildren experience one day!

RESOURCES WE MENTIONED

No Longer Little: Parenting Tweens with Grace and Hope by Hal and Melanie Young

Interested in having Hal or Melanie speak at your event? CLICK HERE for information!

Come Away Weekend – our marriage retreat and giveaway – Flat Rock, NC – October 19-21

Special Needs Conference for Gifted and Struggling Learners – Orlando, FL – November 16-17

 


Special Thanks to our Network Sponsor, Kiwi Crate!

 

 

We’d like to thank our Ultimate Homeschool Radio Network sponsor, Kiwi Crate!

KiwiCo has monthly subscriptions of hands-on projects that make learning fun! Their core offering is projects that make learning about STEAM — science, technology, engineering, art, and math — accessible and are designed to spark creativity, tinkering, and learning. Some recent favorite crates are the Slime Lab, Physics Carnival, and Paper Circuits.

Ultimate Homeschool Radio Network is excited to be able to offer you the chance to try them for FREE. To learn more about their projects for kids ages 2 to 16 AND to redeem this exclusive offer, click here to get your first month free today (just pay $4.95 for shipping)


The Courage to Love Big

The Courage to Love Big with The Real Kathy LeeThe Courage to Love Big – with The Real Kathy Lee

Today I attended my first ever Catalyst Leadership Conference. Wow. The theme of this year’s conference is Of Good Courage. That theme rang throughout everyone’s message, but there was a sub them ringing even a little louder in my heart.

Speaker after speaker mentioned love, the courage to love, loving anyway, loving everyone, loving big and always choosing love. I was convicted. As I mom, do I show my children how to love? Will they grow up loving everyone because they were loved and their family lead with love?

First, Andy Stanley talked about the courage to stay, to leave, to get help and submit. Good stuff. Next, Jeremy Courtney rocked my world when he shared how his family moved to Iraq to love his enemies. What? Do I love my enemies? Do my kids see me loving my enemies or complaining about them? And if that wasn’t convicting enough, Jeremy encouraged us to move towards the things that scare us the most? This man gave me so much to think about and meditate on.

Speaker after speaker encouraged us to be courageous leaders and LOVE. Simply LOVE. Bob Goff, Tim Tebow, Christy Wright, and Katie Davis Majors. All shared the same idea… Face your fears, Trust God and LOVE Big.

If we get to the end  (Daniel Pink talked about good endings) of this parenting gig and our kids don’t know they are loved, we might have just failed the most important task set before us. I don’t want that to be my ending, do you?

Lean in to your family, say yes to loving them well. Let them see you have the courage to face your fears and love those that creep you out. Let them see love ooze out of you because you are a follower of Christ. He loves us, simply as we are. Let’s agree to love big!

 

 


Find a way to #sayyes today.

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Thank you to The Homegrown Preschooler for sponsoring this Podcast! Check out the blog post Kathy mentioned, Farmhouse Schoolhouse, to read more about A Year of Playing Skillfully.

Also, to thank you for listening, you can receive a 10% discount on any purchase at

The Homegrown Preschooler by using the code, THEREALKATHYLEE.

 

To the Wife Whose Husband Works Long Hours

For the Wife Whose Husband Works Long HoursWhen missed date nights, little league games, and dinner, threaten to destroy your marriage you can fight against it. When your husband works long hours it takes a toll on your family life and marriage. It is all too easy for the distance to grow between you to the point neither of you have the energy to build a bridge to each other. Don’t let that happen to you.  See the blog post:  https://www.talkingmom2mom.com/2015/04/to-the-wife-whose-husband-works-long-hours.html

 

Links:

talkingmom2mom.com

 

How a Broken Down Car Cultivated Family Relationships

How a Broken Down Car Cultivated Family Relationships

We spent every day together yet relationships were not being formed. We were virtual strangers when the day came that we were forced to spend time alone together as opposed to running from destination to destination. When the busyness of life takes over you have nothing to gain but everything to lose. Learn how taking some time to slow down will benefit your family and help you focus on real life.

Find us at:  http://talkingmom2mom.com