The Quiet Fight Between Women – HIRL Episode 56

quiet fight between women (1200 × 628 px)There is a quiet fight going on under the surface in homeschooling for a long time.

“Let’s face it. The quiet fight between women in homeschooling often comes down to pride.” – Angie Tolpin

We dive back into familiar waters on this episode and tackle the issue of competition and pride that we see generally among women in the church, but specifically within the walls of homeschooling.

“You know there are greater possibilities of friendship and Christian fellowship in your life. And yet — despite your best intentions — there is something in the way holding you back from your spiritual growth with your sisters in Christ. But what is it? A silence. A distance with no name. A weapon of the enemy fashioned to drive us apart and stop us from creating the fellowship we need for our growth in Christ.  Something so subtle you might never understand it alone, much less be able to overcome it.” –The Quiet Fight Between Women

Fletch and Kendra sit down with author Angie Tolpin and have an honest discussion about why women have difficulty connecting or feel as if there is an undercurrent of comparison and competition running through our relationships. Join them on this episode as they talk again about how Jesus changes our communication and frees us to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with each other as we seek to bring glory to God.

Timeline
1:02 – Introduction
13:00 – Angie Tolpin Interview, 1
26:30 – Angie Tolpin Interview, 2
38:30 – Q and A with K and A

 

Show Notes

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Music clips used on this show:

“Scheming Weasel” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/


Join Fletch (from theMangoTimes) and Kendra (from Preschoolers and Peace and KendraFletcher.com) for the HomeschoolingIRL podcast every week as they interview guests and talk through some of the goofiness they have experienced in nearly two decades of Homeschooling In Real Life.

Raising Siblings Without Rivalry – Part 3 – MBFLP 253-3

Part 3 – Building Friendship Between Your Children

We want our kids to be friends and allies, not rivals and opponents, but that takes some conscious effort. As parents, we can make both the positive and negative efforts to build friendship and avoid tearing it down. How can we prevent harsh feelings between our kids? And better, how can we promote affection and goodwill toward siblings?

Practical Ideas

Remember your kids learn from your example – all the time. If you want to raise kids who are kind, you need to live and speak in kindness at home. They are always watching, even when you don’t think you’re teaching and when they don’t realize they’re learning.

Do your kids really believe there’s justice in your family? Unfair treatment from a parent might be favoritism toward one child – the only girl in a family of boys, the “baby” of the family, or anyone singled out (think about Joseph in the Bible!). It can also be one child who gets blamed for everything – the one who’s “the usual suspect” in every situation. One way we provoke our children (Colossians 3:21) is by jumping to conclusions when there’s trouble between the kids – dig deeper and be sure you’ve dealt with both the reaction and the cause!

Protect their dignity in front of their siblings. We made a point, as much as possible, to correct or discipline children privately, not in front of the family. Don’t give ammunition for teasing, or reason for a child to feel defensive and wary around the family.

Encourage acts of service for siblings – look for ways they can bless one another. Whether it’s offered as an apology for past bad behavior, or an expression of love and kindness just because, cultivate a spirit of thoughtfulness between the kids.

Help them understand and look for others’ point of view.  Some kids are thoughtless about how their behavior hurts or offends others. On the other hand, some kids are quick to assume the worst and take offense where none was given. Teach them that intentions are important, but perception and reception are important too and sometimes a bigger problem than the intention!

Suggest activities they’ll want to do together – on the condition they do them togetherBake cookies, provide projects they cooperate on, look for shared experiences and adventures. Shared memories are the ties that draw them together in later life. Often it’s the smaller things

Passages We Referenced

 

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness. – Proverbs 31:26

And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another … – Ephesians 4:32

… be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity. – 1 Timothy 4:12

1 Corinthians 13:1-8 – what love is, and is not

The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression. – Proverbs 19:11

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. – Colossians 3:21 (also Ephesians 6:4)

 

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or call our Listener Response Line at (919) 295-0321

 

Part 1 – [ Principles for Preventing Sibling Rivalry ]

Part 2 – [ Making Competition Helpful, Not Hurtful ]

Part 3 –

 

Dating v. Courtship – MBFLP 186

It’s been a hot discussion in homeschooling for decades – what should we teach our kids about finding a mate? What’s really the Biblical model? After following one philosophy for several years and then realizing some of the assumptions really weren’t playing out in reality, we delved back into the Scriptures and found some surprising things people didn’t talk about. Join us for our quick tour of what we found the Bible really says about finding a mate!


Examples We Referenced

The Executive VP Goes Cousin Shopping – Genesis 24
Hello, and Where Did I Get This Scar? – Genesis 2
A Funny Thing Happened After the Service – Judges 21

Principles

Honoring parents (Ephesians 6:2)
Flee sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18)
Leaving and cleaving (Genesis 2:24)
Providing for one’s own (1 Timothy 5:8)
Treating younger women as sisters, in purity (1 Timothy 5:2)

Resources We Mentioned

Our workshop on “Dating, Courtship, and All That”

MoreThanFriends.io – the app with 42% less awkwardness


Special Thanks to our Network Sponsor!


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