Homeschool Secret Weapon ~ Episode 491

The homeschool secret weapon is not the perfect curriculum, perfectly run home, or peaceful household. While all of those things are great, the true secret lies in the little-known information, and once you get it right, the rest falls into place. Join veteran homeschooling mom Felice Gerwitz as she shares her homeschool experience with you.

Visit the updated MediaAngels.com website for classes, books, and planners to help you on your homeschool journey.

If you missed my last podcast, Homeschooling Secrets, check it out here.

So…it’s time to dig deep, and I need your full attention. Sure, homeschool moms are great multi-taskers. You may be driving, folding clothes, or perhaps even painting a wall with your kids. (I’ve received emails telling me the favorite activities of my listeners.) But, seriously, I need your attention today because the information I am sharing with you will take some convincing.

It is not that my information is incorrect or that it is flawed in some way; the issue at hand is that humility may get in the way.

I’m not trying to be vague if you have listened to any of my past 490 podcasts a ridiculous number, I know, and I’m still at it; I normally get right to the point.

The Real Secret Weapon

The truth is the secret weapon is you, mom, or dad. Not to put pressure on you more than you possibly put on yourself, but the simple fact is you are it! You are the head of your home, classroom, discipline, and organization in your family, the head honcho, or whatever title you give yourself. Who gives the final word on what happens in your child’s education? You. In regard to your child’s physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being in the palm of your hand. Literally.

How did I come to this conclusion? Carefully. Over the years, I placed blame on various sources, entities, and even my own shoulders for what I considered academic or character struggles my children went through in their life. The curriculum was easy – if my child didn’t “get” Algebra using one book, no worries – we purchased another. Character struggles were the result of a young age (they are too young to get it), too little knowledge (we haven’t covered that yet) or lack of information (we are working on that). But at some point, I had to stop and say, “I can’t blame their teacher because I am their teacher.”

Instead of that statement being a burden, I embraced it. I realized that I could not address the issue without acknowledging my shortcomings. If my child was misbehaving, I had many options, but I had to do something to correct that behavior, or I’d see it again and again. I’d turn into the nagging, repeating parent.

Word on the Street

At every convention I attended, I found the next best thing. Yet, upon implementation, I found that this next-best thing was not what I was looking for, whether it was a book, workbook, video, game, or even a book on scheduling and organization. I discovered that I needed to be “all in” in order to embrace what we were learning and be there to support my child in the process. As homeschoolers, we tend to want to set it and forget it. Give your child a book and walk away and then become frustrated when they walk away from the table and never come back, lose their book, or fail to complete an assignment. This all happened in the course of my 32 years of homeschooling.

My discovery came from many discussions with my husband, homeschool friends, and children. First, my husband shared information he learned from listening to a homeschooled dad of a large family, a Catholic Psychologist he listened to on the radio. He loved this man and his advice, especially to dads.  His advice was that moms hold so much power in their hands. They can determine if the child receives privileges. It is up to them. That is not novel advice, but in the context of homeschooling it becomes powerful. We are with our children 24/7, and our children know what buttons to push; they know when we are tired, or they conquer and divide, tell mom or dad that the other parent gave permission when this isn’t true. Or, they blur the lines of exactly what it means when you ask, “Did you complete your assignment?”

Homeschool Secret Weapons Tool Box:

Having the tools to get the results you need is in your tool chest of homeschool secret weapons. And what are these?

1. You have the power of yes or no.
2. You can remove distractions.
3. You can set boundaries.
4. You can decide if a child forgoes a snack or a treat.
5. You can give permission or take it away.

My daughter brought home some friends when she attended a local university. One girl went on and on about how she was now an adult. I asked what age constituted adulthood and, secondly, when she turned said age. She answered eighteen and that her birthday had been a few months prior. So, I concluded you had been an adult for three months? She saw where I was going with it, and my daughter just laughed and rolled her eyes. This friend then proceeded to tell me that she and my daughter had had quite a few conversations, and she considered my interest in her life excessive. (She wasn’t quite blatant, but I knew what she meant.)

I explained, “Well, this household is not a republic or a democracy. It is a monarchy, and I am the Queen.” My daughter had a smile on her face, thankfully because she had heard it before, but this girl was appalled. So I went on to explain further.

You Are The Queen

Being the head of your household and reigning as Queen means caring for those in your charge (your spouse, your children), laying down your life for your kingdom (your family), and providing the best within your means. A responsibility, yes, but a privilege as well. It is a weighty responsibility; we need to refill our tanks occasionally. (I have an upcoming podcast on the topic). Being the Queen is also a thankless job. We do it because we are born into this and thrive if it is done well.

The homeschool secret weapon is our attitude and our outlook on our homeschool journey. It is placing things in perspective and not stressing the small stuff (guilty of both). Honestly, I had to pull away from the homeschool community at large for a time. I had to pull back and reexamine my focus on my spouse and children and regroup. I founded this Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Community out of a need to celebrate what was good in homeschooling with people I knew (the majority of the people on this network are those I know personally or have met in real life). You can trust these podcasters as having your best interest in giving homeschool advice.

Next Step

Friends, you are the homeschool secret weapon, and the question is, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to realize the power you have and use it wisely? I pray that this information has been helpful and you can use it to benefit your children and your family life. We undervalue our service to our family, or at best; we are too humble to appreciate it — that is why I asked for your full attention at the beginning of this podcast. I know your hearts are good, and you want what is best for your children, and when there are frustrations or difficulties, it is easy to blame others or even your children for their lack of cooperation. Knowing we have the tools at our disposal is a good start.

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