HSHSP Ep 165: Teens and Legalism, Interview with Kendra Fletcher

We’re so excited to have our friend, Kendra Fletcher with us! This week on HSHSP Ep 165: Teens and Legalism, Interview with Kendra Fletcher.

HSHSP Ep 165: Teens and Legalism, Interview with Kendra Fletcher. Kendra discusses the freedom of the Gospel and ways to help teens and parents trust God, not checklists. #KendraFletcher #HomeschoolHighSchoolPodcast #LeavingLegalism #TeensAndLegalism

HSHSP Ep 165: Teens and Legalism, Interview with Kendra Fletcher

Kendra is an influential author, blogger and with her husband, Andy, speaker around the country. Andy and Kendra have hosted Homeschooling IRL on this network. She is the mother of 8, several of them who graduated from traditional homeschool, several in hybrid homeschools and their youngest with special needs. She is also a special friend of ours!

Kendra’s family story is full of God-given inspiration and breath-taking traumas. From her youngest’s nearly-deadly virus when he was an infant, to a daughter’s attack of sepsis after a burst appendix (and even more traumatic events), the Fletchers understand what hardship can look like. Through their experiences, Kendra and Fletch have learned that God is in charge of the process of raising children and in charge of the outcomes!

Kendra Fletcher, photo used by permission

God is in charge of the process AND in charge of the outcomes! No matter how much we might want to control our lives (and slide into the trap of *teens and legalism*), God must be in control.

In this chat with Kym and Vicki, Kendra explains that she has learned:

Even if you have a perfect child for your first born, if you have more than one, you’ll find each one has an autonomous soul and mind. That you never have a child who won’t need God in their lives. You’ll never be the kind of parent who can guarantee and outcome. That’s why we need to keep our hope shifted onto Jesus.

We loved Kendra’s previous book, Lost and Found (if you want to read a GREAT testimony of God’s grace, this is it). Kendra’s latest book is called Leaving Legalism. It fits perfectly into our 7Sisters’ philosophy of homeschooling. We asked her to share some of her thoughts on teens and legalism.

Kendra defines legalism as: Anytime we put our hope in anything other than the simple Gospel of Christ (of Christ’s work on the cross to pay for our sins), we are slipping into legalism.

The truth of the matter is that each one of us is a legalist. No matter what we think about the way we run life and what church we go to, because was are born in sin, our humanity pushes us towards some kind of law.

Kendra encourages us to monitor our *if onlys*. If ONLY I could find a perfect church… If ONLY I could get in the right co-op… If ONLY I had the *right* way to parent…everything would be okay.

Every time you catch an *if only* come back to the Gospel. In fact, daily come back to the Gospel. God is our hope. Ultimately and always.

Kendra explained that she and Fletch learned about hope shifting (placing their trust in their process, rules or checklists). They started out parenting by wanting the very best for their kids. Homeschooling was one of those *best things*. They started homeschooling because their first child was so bright that she felt he would do best in a home situation.

As they went along, homeschooling became more than an educational choice! In those decades there was the prominent philosophy that homeschooling would save your kids. Parents who did not homeschool were feeding the children to the wolves. She remembers the story she heard from a speaker that sending kids to traditional school settings is like throwing a precious teddy bear into the mud, no matter how often it is washed afterwards, it would still be sullied.

She points out the hope shifting in that philosophy. All of our children are being raised by parents who are sinners (while saved by grace, are still sinning). When parents were taught to put their hope in homeschooling, that was shifting hope away from Christ’s work in the Gospel and onto our own works. The legalistic idea there is: IF I parent in this way, I’ll get the outcome I want for my kids.

Kendra wrote the Leaving Legalism because a number of parents had come to her points because they felt devastated when they *did all the right things* but their young adults walked away. These parents, like all of us, are not able to control the outcome of another person’s life. God is in charge of the outcome.

So how do we keep ourselves from hope shifting onto homeschooling and away from God? How do we keep our faith and trust in God? If we give up legalism, how do we prevent our teens from falling into licentiousness?

After all the traumas, the Fletchers discovered that the comfort of living in a *checklist*, legalistic culture is a kind of pride and fear. It was toxic to their family. They left their legalistic church when she was 40 years old. She found that she had more freedom and spiritual growth when she gave up control of her own spiritual health and her family’s spiritual health to God.

Kendra advises: Sit as Jesus’ feet. Learn to abide. It’s in many ways harder than simply *having a checklist* but the freedom to let God manage our lives is so much better. The freedom of living with daily hope in the Gospel is a better choice for each person and their families. Kendra has learned to pointing her kids to Jesus: “Look, here’s Jesus!”

He is who we need. His outcomes for us and our kids are what we truly want.

WE can’t raise our kids to be perfect. It is God who is present in their lives as they make their good and bad decisions. The Gospel is the tool to help our teens learn to live trusting in Him.

Kendra’s new book, Leaving Legalism, is her encouragement to Christians who want to start live over. Often families who come out of a legalistic culture leave everything behind: All their social, spiritual and emotional support. The book offers comfort, support and advice for leaving legalism but not leave Christ behind.

Learn to love God, learn to love others, learn to love yourself. Here’s Jesus. He’ll help you with that.

Leaving Legalism: Learning to Love God, Others and Yourself Again by Kendra Fletcher discusses these important topics.

  • Why and how people leave legalism
  • Why rules make us feel safe
  • Understanding the swinging pendulum
  • Our identity in Christ
  • How to let go of the past
  • Apologizing to your teens
  • God’s individual love for each individual

It’s an easy read and not too long, but life changing. Get a copy for you and a friend. Also, contact Kendra at KendraFletcher.com, Facebook, Instagram.

Join Kendra, Kym and Vicki for this inspirational chat!

You’ll also love these posts:

At Least 5 Reasons We Need the Holy Spirit in Our Homeschools

What Does a Teen Need Most from Homeschool High School?

 

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO HSHSP VIA COMPUTER

  1. Follow this link to our iTunes page.
  2. IMPORTANT STEP: Under our Homeschool Highschool Podcast logo, click on View in iTunes
  3. This will take you to iTunes and our own podcast page.
  4. Click SUBSCRIBE.
  5. Click RATINGS AND REVIEW. (Please take a minute and do this. It helps others find us. Thanks!)
  6. Thanks!

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE VIA iPHONE

  1. Tap the purple Podcast icon on your phone
  2. Tap the search icon on the bottom-right of your screen
  3. In the search bar type: Homeschool Highschool Podcast
  4. Tap the Homeschool Highschool Podcast icon
  5. Tap *Subscribe*
  6. Please tap *Ratings and Review* and give us some stars and a comment to help others find us more easily.
  7. Thanks!

Want some homeschool high school mom community?

Join 7SistersHomeschool.com’s friendly Facebook group.

Like our Homeschool Highschool Podcast page.

Follow 7SistersHomeschool.com on Instagram.

 

 

 

HSHSP Ep 165: Teens and Legalism, Interview with Kendra Fletcher

Best of Homschooling IRL: Affording College

Free homeschooling podcast with Jean Burke about affording college!It’s that time of year again – graduation is upon us and college is looming into the future.  In this replay of the Best of Homeschooling IRL, listen in as Fletch and Kendra interview Jean Burke of College Prep Genius with tips for affording college.

—-

When our students hope to go to college, the perennial question remains: how in the world will they pay for it? We decided to return to the topic of affording college with College Prep Genius Jean Burk because we know she has valuable information to share.

We think you’ll be encouraged and feel equipped as you help your college-bound student get the education they are pursuing!

 


SHOW NOTES:

Recommended Resources:
College Prep Genius

Follow Fletch/Kendra:
Fletch Twitter
Kendra Twitter

Follow the Studio Dogs:
Betty the Surf Dog – Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Website
Rasta The Chocolate Lab – Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Website

Previous Episodes Mentioned:
None

Music clips used on this episode:
None


ADVERTISERS/SPONSORS:


LISTEN HERE

Are you ready to listen to Fletch and Kendra get real about homeschooling? Press the PLAY button below.

Homeschooling During Crisis | Kendra Fletcher

 

Homeschooling During Crisis | Mommy Jammies Night

Mommy Jammies Night with Kendra Fletcher – Homeschooling During Crisis (Replay)

Could you continue homeschooling during crisis? Just about every possible nightmare that could happen to a couple, happened to Kendra and Andy Fletcher. In this audio, Kendra shares her story as well as hope, that “God’s got this!” HomeschoolinginCrisisHandout_KendraFletcher from Kendra.

#ThrowbackReplay

Kendra Fletcher on UHRN

Kendra is co-host of Homeschooling IRL with her husband, Fletch – please visit their show page on this network

Homeschooling IRL

More About Kendra & Her Family

Kendra Fletcher is a mother of 8, speaker, author, and podcaster. She is the author of Lost and Found: Losing Religion, Finding Grace, and Leaving Legalism, and she regularly writes for Key Life Ministries. The Fletchers reside in California, where they play in the Pacific Ocean as often as possible.

 

More Podcasts Featuring Kendra Fletcher

Lost & Found | Mommy Jammies Night

 

 

 

Best of HIRL: Homeschooling Multiple Ages

HIRL-Episode-108

This week on this replay episode of Homeschooling IRL:  How does a homeschooling parent possibly educate older kids while at the same time juggling preschoolers, toddlers, and babies? Is it even realistic to think we could do a good job while spinning so many homeschool plates?

On this episode of Homeschooling in Real Life, Fletch and Kendra talk about how they’ve managed to homeschool 8 kids, how to structure a day so that schooling actually gets done, and how mom can survive and thrive during the demanding years of homeschooling multiple ages.

 

EPISODE TIMELINE
:50 Fluff – LOST, Father’s Day, Publishing, Summer Vacation
7:25 Homeschooling Multiple Ages, Part 1
18:16 – Homeschooling Multiple Ages, Part 2
33:35 The show is over. Goodbye!


SHOW NOTES:

Recommended Resources:
Three Essential Keys to Homeschooling Multiple Ages
Preschoolers and Peace Website

Betty the Surf Dog – Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Website
Rasta The Chocolate Lab – Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Website
Fletch Twitter
Kendra Twitter

Previous Episodes Mentioned:
All of them

Music clips used on this episode:
None


SUBSCRIBE AND LEAVE AN iTUNES REVIEW:

Allow the magic of the internet to deliver Homeschooling In Real Life to your tablet or smart phone. Let us show you how easy it is:

  1. Follow this link to our iTunes page.
  2. IMPORTANT STEP: Under our big red HomeschoolingIRL logo, just click on View in iTunes
  3. The iTunes program will automatically launch and take you to our podcast page.
  4. FIRST – Click SUBSCRIBE. Voila! All or our podcasts will come directly to your computer and smart phone.
  5. NEXT – Click RATINGS AND REVIEW. Remember the best reviews are 5-stars (hint hint!).
  6. Thanks for being one of our listeners! HIRLers rock!

WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO LISTEN TO HomeschoolingIRL?

  1. You can listen right on this page. There is an audio player below.
  2. You can listen on your iPod, Smartphone or tablet. Open the PODCAST app on your device, search podcasts for “HomeschoolingIRL” and click subscribe. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.
  3. Subscribe to the HomeschoolingIRL website and you will be notified when every new episode is released. Follow this link and begin your FREE SUBSCRIPTION.

LISTEN HERE

Are you ready to listen to Fletch and Kendra get real about homeschooling? Press the PLAY button below.



Special Thanks to Our Network Sponsor -TimeforLearning.com


Special Edition of HIRL: Mid-Year Slump

Free homeschool podcast about surviving the Mid-Year SlumpThis week on Special Edition – Homeschooling IRL – Enjoy this episode replay sponsored by Christian Standard BibleMid-January. Harumph. Are you feeling the mid-year slump in your homeschool, too? 

In this episode of Homeschooling in Real Life, Fletch and Kendra talk about how the mid-year slump affects their homeschooling and give several practical ways in which you can beat the mid-year slump, too.


SHOW NOTES:

Recommended Resources:
Lost and Found, by Kendra Fletcher
Key Life Ministries with Steve Brown
Interview with Key Life

Follow Fletch/Kendra:
Fletch Twitter
Kendra Twitter

Follow the Studio Dogs:
Betty the Surf Dog – Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Website
Rasta The Chocolate Lab – Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Website

Previous Episodes Mentioned:
The Worst Is Yet To Come, Keb’ Mo – Buy it here on iTunes

Music clips used on this episode:
None


Special Thanks to Our Network Sponsor – Christian Standard Bible

The Christian Standard Bible captures the Bible’s original meaning without compromising clarity. An optimal blend of accuracy and readability, this translation helps readers make a deeper connection with God’s Word and inspires lifelong discipleship. The CSB is for everyone—for readers young and old, new and seasoned. It’s a Bible pastors can preach from and a Bible you can share with your neighbor hearing God’s Word for the very first time.

Find out more here!


Special Edition of HIRL: Family Devotions with Marty Machowski

Free homeschool podcast about family devotions.This week on Special Edition – Homeschooling IRL – Enjoy this episode replay sponsored by Christian Standard Bible!    Join us as we welcome pastor, homeschool father, and family devotions author, Marty Machowski. We talk with Marty about family devotions and why we need to encourage each other as families to gather together around the Word of God. 

These are wonderful books for families just like yours. They are easy to use, with ideas that are easy to grasp, and they teach to a level that will engage everyone in the entire family. Marty’s books have been a hit in our family and we are sure they will be with yours as well. Join us and be inspired and encouraged for family devotions in your home.


SHOW NOTES:

Recommended Resources:
Marty Machowski
Theology For Kids
New Growth Press

Follow Fletch/Kendra:
Fletch Twitter
Kendra Twitter

Follow the Studio Dogs:
Betty the Surf Dog – Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Website
Rasta The Chocolate Lab – Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Website

Previous Episodes Mentioned:
None

Music clips used on this episode:
The Love of God – MercyMe – Purchase it Here


Special Thanks to Our Network Sponsor – Christian Standard Bible

The Christian Standard Bible captures the Bible’s original meaning without compromising clarity. An optimal blend of accuracy and readability, this translation helps readers make a deeper connection with God’s Word and inspires lifelong discipleship. The CSB is for everyone—for readers young and old, new and seasoned. It’s a Bible pastors can preach from and a Bible you can share with your neighbor hearing God’s Word for the very first time.

Find out more here!


Special Edition of HIRL: Devotions For The Real Family

Free homeschool podcast discussing real family devotions.This week on Special Edition – Homeschooling IRL – Enjoy this episode replay sponsored by Christian Standard Bible!  We are talking about Family Devotions for the Real Family on this podcast. You know REAL family devotions. The families with the toddler hijacking the deep discussion, and the teens are daydreaming, and mom is falling asleep because it’s been a long, long homeschooling day. Can you relate to family worship that looks like this?

Family worship can be trying for most families, and on this episode of Homeschooling in Real Life, we talk with a dozen dads about what it looks like in their homes. But we won’t leave you feeling like a failure! We want to encourage you to discover God’s glory with your family in a way that suits you best.


Special Thanks to Our Network Sponsor – Christian Standard Bible

The Christian Standard Bible captures the Bible’s original meaning without compromising clarity. An optimal blend of accuracy and readability, this translation helps readers make a deeper connection with God’s Word and inspires lifelong discipleship. The CSB is for everyone—for readers young and old, new and seasoned. It’s a Bible pastors can preach from and a Bible you can share with your neighbor hearing God’s Word for the very first time.

Find out more here!


Best of HIRL: The Educated Parent

Free homeschool podcast about maintaining an education as parents.We home educators spend a lot of time educating our kids. But what about us? Are we taking the time to learn more, discover more, and be curious?

This episode of Homeschooling in Real Life is dedicated to you, the homeschooling parent. We want to see you grow and thrive in your role as parent educator, and to that end we’re talking about the reasons to educate yourself as well as the how-to. Let’s get learning!

 


SHOW NOTES:

Recommended Resources:

Hoopla – Library digital borrowing

Khan Academy – Free education

Follow Fletch/Kendra:
Fletch Twitter
Kendra Twitter

Follow the Studio Dogs:
Betty the Surf Dog – Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Website
Rasta The Chocolate Lab – Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Website

Previous Episodes Mentioned:

Episode 91 – Is Me Time Necessary?

Music clips used on this episode:
School Boy Heart by Jimmy Buffett – Buy it here on iTunes


Special Thanks to Our Network Sponsor – Change is in the Air Movie

This story embraces the imperfections that make us human, offers a way to set ourselves free and asks us all to take a good, long look at the wild birds in the sky.

Watch the trailer here!


Best of HIRL: Boys To Men

Free homeschooling podcast about raising boys to be men.Our listeners love when we podcast about the process of raising children into adulthood. But every time we talk about raising kids or the transitions into teen years or launching our adolescents out into the world, we are asked constantly for resources.

On this episode we introduce our listeners to one of our favorite new resources for young men. Our old friend, Barrett Johnson from I.N.F.O. for Families, is releasing a new book called The Young Man’s Guide to Awesomeness and we love what he has put together.

This is a special episode because both Fletch and Barrett were home alone for the recording. Join in as the two guys get on the microphones without their wives for a discussion about how to walk into awkward conversations with young men and encourage them how to guard their hearts, get the girl, and save the world!


SHOW NOTES:

Recommended Resources:

None

Get Social With Us:

Follow Fletch/Kendra:
Fletch Twitter
Kendra Twitter

Follow the Studio Dogs:
Betty the Surf Dog – Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Website
Rasta The Chocolate Lab – Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Website

 


Special Thanks to Our Network Sponsor – Change is in the Air Movie

This story embraces the imperfections that make us human, offers a way to set ourselves free and asks us all to take a good, long look at the wild birds in the sky.

Watch the trailer here!


 

Best of HIRL: When Your Homeschool Owns You

Free Homeschooling Podcast about homeschool bondage and competition.When Cindy West reached out to us and asked to talk about something she’s seeing in the homeschool community at large, we jumped at the opportunity. And it’s this: Some homeschoolers feel they must adhere so closely to a particular homeschool philosophy that they have lost all their homeschool joy. Essentially, their homeschools are owning them.

So what’s the remedy? Tune in to “When Your Homeschool Owns You” to find out!


SHOW NOTES:

Recommended Resources:

Cindy West can be found here: Our Journey Westward.

Get Social With Us:

Follow Fletch/Kendra:
Fletch Twitter
Kendra Twitter

Follow the Studio Dogs:
Betty the Surf Dog – Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Website
Rasta The Chocolate Lab – Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Website

 

 


Special Thanks to Our Network Sponsor – Unseen Film

After finding his grandson Owen preparing to end his own life, Alexander takes him along on an errand. As the day unfolds, Owen learns new information about his grandfather’s past and unlocks the secret to facing his own future.

Click Here to Download the Film for Free and get Resources for Your Family