Myths of Motherhood – MBFLP 235

Hal is out of town with the children and Melanie is helping her mother after major surgery, so this episode Melanie tackles some common ideas about motherhood that may not be quite so. Join this mother of eight (five all grown now) as she looks at “Myths of Motherhood”!

“Motherhood” is one of the almost-mystical concepts of our culture. It’s symbolic of so many things, though to be sure, just what it represents has changed as the culture has changed.

But like many “big ideas,” there are some mythical things that cluster around, too. Can we talk frankly about what we see as the myths of modern motherhood?

Here’s a big one to start with:

Myth No. 1 – “It’s hard now and it’s always going to be this way.”

When we had four kids eight and under, Hal accepted a new job in a different town. We couldn’t sell the house before he had to start, so we conceived the not-so-brilliant idea of Melanie and the kids staying in the present home to try and sell it, while Hal moved two hours away to begin the new job.

It was horrible.

One mom and four littles, eight and under. Every time the agent wanted to show the house, Melanie would dash upstairs and down, furiously throwing things in laundry baskets and stuffing them in the car. One of our children couldn’t fall asleep at night; Melanie would get the older two settled, nurse the baby down, and then find the toddler wide wake, feet flailing, talking to himself. She would sit by his toddler bed, crying her heart out to God, “Father! Please – let this child sleep,” unable to leave him because the bedrooms were upstairs.

It was tough and it was discouraging too. And it was easy to think, “This is my normal. It will always be the way it is this minute. And I can’t do this.”

Eventually we decided to just clean the house really well, close it up, and go live with relatives for a month or two until it sold. And eventually, it all worked out.

That little guy who wouldn’t get to sleep? He’s a father now with his own restless toddler. All four of those kids we had then are grown and gone now. We still have children at home, the younger siblings who weren’t even alive back then, but our life is drastically different. When the younger few were born, we had teenagers to help. The older kids can handle most of their schoolwork on their own. They’re helping more than they’re taking time.

Your life as a mother of a demanding young family is tough – no question. But that three-year-old who’s running around like a maniac — in a few years, he’ll be able to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and he’ll help get the toddler out of the toilet while you’re nursing the baby. When he’s 9 he’ll be able to finish fixing dinner when the baby needs Mama (as they do!). When he’s 12 he’ll be able to cook the whole meal, and when he’s 16 you can send him out for burgers when you’re sick with the flu. Your life hasn’t reached a standstill –

Don’t give up!

(There’s a lot more coming up – listen in below!)

That’s Why I’m Here | Interview with Leslie Nunnery

Join us to chat about motherhood – childbirth and all issues with raising families large and small.

That’s Why I’m Here | Interview with Leslie Nunnery

“That’s Why I’m Here.”

Visit Leslie at Teach Them Diligently

As busy moms, we wear many hats– wife, mother, housekeeper, chef, educator, taxi driver, and so much more. The demands on our time are endless. Do you ever lose sight of why you do all that you do? Do you ever find yourself feeling discontent with where God has you right now, or do you ever feel like there is no more of you to give to anyone? Let’s take a very practical and personal look at exactly why we are here. Along the way, I think we’ll see the incredible purpose and peace we all can have when we truly figure that out.

Best of The Real Kathy Lee: You’ve Got This! When Motherhood is Hard

You've Got This! When Motherhood is Hard with The Real Kathy LeeThis week we are running a few “Best of” episodes you might have missed!  This is the #1 episode for my podcast!  If you have listened to my podcast for very long, you have heard me say… You’ve Got This. You might have wondered what in the world I actually mean by that statement. Today’s podcast explains my thoughts as I share such an empowering phrase.

Motherhood is hard. We become parents through pregnancy or adoption, both are hard.  Before the baby arrives we are often exhausted physically and emotionally. Next, we stay up all night and are expected to be happy and function the next day. What? How? By digging deep, by realizing that you are making a difference for eternity. It doesn’t mean that it isn’t challenging and very lonely at times.

I suggest the following for moms who struggle believing that they can pull off this thing called motherhood:

  1. Don’t be scared to ask for help – Reach out to a close friend and share your feelings.
  2. Say YES to taking time for yourself. You won’t regret it. You and your family will be happier for it.
  3. Say NO often. Motherhood can overwhelm us, especially when we take on too many things outside the home during the early years.
  4. It is okay to have your own tantrum from time to time. I suggest going in the closet for a good cry or toddler style fit.
  5. Time flies. Try and lean in to these years, savor them. It sounds ridiculous, but you will miss the middle of the night feedings and early morning snuggles on the sofa.

 

YOU really, really do HAVE this!!

Comment on my post on FB at The Real Kathy Lee or The Homegrown Preschooler for a chance to win this journal!!!


Find a way to #sayyes today.

Don’t forget to subscribe to my podcast and leave a review on iTunes!!!

Thank you to The Homegrown Preschooler for sponsoring this Podcast! Check out the blog post Kathy mentioned, Farmhouse Schoolhouse, to read more about A Year of Playing Skillfully.

Also, to thank you for listening, you can receive a 10% discount on any purchase at

The Homegrown Preschooler by using the code, THEREALKATHYLEE.

 


Special Thanks to Our Network Sponsor – Christian Standard Bible

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Find out more here!


Lost and Found with Kendra Fletcher

Lost and Found: Losing Religion, Finding Grace - with Kendra FletcherThe “right” homeschooling philosophy. The right brand of theology. The “right” meal-planning, home-managing, keep-it-all-together parenting. Kendra Fletcher, homeschooling mom of eight, had it all “right,” until it all fell apart. In the course of eighteen months, Kendra found her baby in a coma, ran over her five-year-old, and nearly lost her eight-year-old to a septic ruptured appendix. Lost and Found is the story of how God used those events to transform her family s self-righteous religion into freedom in Christ. Fletcher’s debut book is the gripping true story of how God used suffering to save her family from empty religion. As wave after wave of crisis hit, the Fletchers discovered that getting religion “right” wasn’t a good substitute for a living relationship with a loving God. Through their suffering, they learned about misplaced identities and false hope, and they threw themselves wholly into the arms of Jesus where they found the grace they needed. Fletcher, a well-known writer and conference speaker in Christian homeschooling circles, addresses the quiet legalism that so easily infiltrates Christian communities and exposes the dangers of focusing our hopes on the “right” ways of worship, work, and family life. More than a memoir, Lost and Found invites all of us to give up the things that hold us in bondage and find our value, worth, significance, hope, and identity in Christ alone. – AMAZON

Today’s episode was short, but extra sweet. The super cool mom of many, Kendra Fletcher agreed to be on the show to talk about life in the Fletcher house and her book, Lost and Found: Losing Religion, Finding Grace and her travel plans this homeschool season.  I love what Kendra shared and am blown away by what she and her family had to go through during an 18-month period. I am grateful that she was willing to share her story with us in her book. We did end up cutting the episode short due to some technical issues, but I am thankful that I got to hear about her book. I got so excited that I decided to order TWO from Amazon, one for me and one to give away. Boom! 😉  If you are interested in getting that second copy of Kendra’s book, go leave a review on itunes or comment about the show on social media.

To learn more about Kendra, check out her website, kendrafletcher.com.

Next week is the first week of conference season… look forward to seeing you on the road soon!!!

Have a great week!!!

Thanks for listening. If you have topics you would like for me to discuss or people you would like to hear from, let me know. Just email me at kathy@thehomegrownpreschooler.com or shoot me a message on social media.

Find a way to #sayyes today.

Don’t forget to subscribe to my podcast and leave a review on iTunes!!!

Thank you to The Homegrown Preschooler for sponsoring this Podcast! Check out the blog post Kathy mentioned, Farmhouse Schoolhouse, to read more about A Year of Playing Skillfully.

Also, to thank you for listening, you can receive a 10% discount on any purchase at

The Homegrown Preschooler by using the code, THEREALKATHYLEE.

 

 

When You Lose Your Junk (with Ashley Smoot)

When You Lose Your Junk - with Ashley Smoot and the Real Kathy LeeToday’s show was full of honesty. We covered some topics that have come up from conversations with moms over the past couple of months. First, we chatted about how and why we ALL lose our JUNK with our kids sometimes. You know what I mean. Those times when you yell, freak out, and act like a lunatic at them. Please tell me, you have had those moments too. I totally have lost it with my kids, too many times. I share my suggestion to look inward and try and reflect on the why? If I am being honest, I usually lose it because I fail to prepare, communicate, or take necessary steps to avoid the conflict. Both Ashley and I shared a personal story of losing our junk and what we learned afterwards. I always suggest asking your children for forgiveness and own your part in the situation.

After we had some online therapy during the podcast about losing our junk, we discussed some other issues that had been brought up recently. We talked about what to do when you feel completely overwhelmed and how to deal with unrest between the adults in the home. In the end, I think we noticed that we mentioned the words, rest, grace and forgiveness a lot. Pretty sure, it is because we all need those things to survive this parenting thing. Thanks for listening. If you have topics you would like for me to discuss or people you would like to hear from, let me know.

Just email me at kathy@thehomegrownpreschooler.com or shoot me a message on social media.

 

 

Find a way to #sayyes today.

Don’t forget to subscribe to my podcast and leave a review on iTunes!!!

Thank you to The Homegrown Preschooler for sponsoring this Podcast! Check out the blog post Kathy mentioned, Farmhouse Schoolhouse, to read more about A Year of Playing Skillfully.

Also, to thank you for listening, you can receive a 10% discount on any purchase at

The Homegrown Preschooler by using the code, THEREALKATHYLEE.

 

 

Who is Your Tribe and What is Your Scheduling Vibe?

Who Is Your Tribe and What Is Your Scheduling Vibe? With The Real Kathy LeeOn this week’s show, I ramble… in a parking lot…in Albany, NY. Yesterday afternoon I got a call saying that one of my oldest son’s was being transferred by ambulance to a hospital forty-five minutes from his university campus. When you get that kind of call, you immediately book a flight to Albany, NY (even if you know that it is freaking freezing cold there). A short 2 ½ hours later, I was on a plane. Times like these remind you that you cannot do it alone. You can’t pick up the kids as planned. You can’t make dinner as planned. You can’t go to the appointment with your child as planned. You need your tribe. This time, my precious husband picked up most of the balls I would be dropping; he had landed from a business trip five minutes before I received that phone call.  He is part of my tribe. The other members in my tribe bombarded my phone with calls/texts offering to help with the kids, the dogs, and the business. I am blessed to have a tight tribe. They are a small group of women who have been there, no matter what. Do you have such a group? If you do, say out loud… I AM BLESSED. If you do not, find one!

Originally, I was planning to answer a couple of questions about scheduling and lack of interests in activities. I do mention both of those things on today’s show, in a rambling kind of way. Honestly, my mind was on my family today. Hopefully, you can make sense of my rambling and be encouraged on your journey of motherhood.

Guess what? I know you don’t have it together and you know that I don’t have it together. You know what else? NO ONE has it all together. Let’s rest in that and be thankful that in spite of our shortcomings, we LOVE our families fiercely and are raising up a beautiful group of future hot messes.

 

Have a great week!! Celebrate your TRIBE!

 

 

Thanks for listening. If you have topics you would like for me to discuss or people you would like to hear from, let me know. Just email me at kathy@thehomegrownpreschooler.com or shoot me a message on social media.

 

Find a way to #sayyes today.

Don’t forget to subscribe to my podcast and leave a review on iTunes!!!

Thank you to The Homegrown Preschooler for sponsoring this Podcast! Check out the blog post Kathy mentioned, Farmhouse Schoolhouse, to read more about A Year of Playing Skillfully.

Also, to thank you for listening, you can receive a 10% discount on any purchase at

The Homegrown Preschooler by using the code, THEREALKATHYLEE.

 

 

Mothering is a Marathon with Keri Vasek

Mothering is a Marathon with Keri VasekIt had been a while since I had Keri on the show. Actually, it had been a while since Keri and I had talked in real life. It was good to catch up with her and hear what was on her heart. Keri took a few minutes to catch us up on her home and family.  She has been a busy lady since we last chatted. Next, Keri asked about my suggestions for sibling disagreements. I admit that I don’t know all the answers on this one, but I did have a few thoughts and suggestions to teach children to be kind to one another.

 

Keri and I spent a good amount of time talking about a statement I often make during my speaking engagements, “Mothering is a marathon.” I do say that a lot. I really want parents to understand that it isn’t a sprint, it isn’t just getting them to kindergarten, or high school, or even adulthood. It is a long, tough journey that has ups and downs… highs and lows. It will test us, require patience and definitely demand endurance. It will be worth it. It is worth it.

We chatted a little bit about the popular TV show, This is Us. If you haven’t seen it, you should. I am pretty sure my twin is the writer for this show. I know you feel the same. It is so true, so raw, so needed. We can all learn valuable lessons from this show.

Thanks for listening. If you have topics you would like for me to discuss or people you would like to hear from, let me know. Just email me at kathy@thehomegrownpreschooler.com or shoot me a message on social media.

 

Find a way to #sayyes today.

Don’t forget to subscribe to my podcast and leave a review on iTunes!!!

Thank you to The Homegrown Preschooler for sponsoring this Podcast! Check out the blog post Kathy mentioned, Farmhouse Schoolhouse, to read more about A Year of Playing Skillfully.

Also, to thank you for listening, you can receive a 10% discount on any purchase at

The Homegrown Preschooler by using the code, THEREALKATHYLEE.

 

 

You’ve Got This! When Motherhood is Hard

You've Got This! When Motherhood is Hard with The Real Kathy Lee If you have listened to my podcast for very long, you have heard me say… You’ve Got This. You might have wondered what in the world I actually mean by that statement. Today’s podcast explains my thoughts as I share such an empowering phrase.

Motherhood is hard. We become parents through pregnancy or adoption, both are hard.  Before the baby arrives we are often exhausted physically and emotionally. Next, we stay up all night and are expected to be happy and function the next day. What? How? By digging deep, by realizing that you are making a difference for eternity. It doesn’t mean that it isn’t challenging and very lonely at times.

I suggest the following for moms who struggle believing that they can pull off this thing called motherhood:

  1. Don’t be scared to ask for help – Reach out to a close friend and share your feelings.
  2. Say YES to taking time for yourself. You won’t regret it. You and your family will be happier for it.
  3. Say NO often. Motherhood can overwhelm us, especially when we take on too many things outside the home during the early years.
  4. It is okay to have your own tantrum from time to time. I suggest going in the closet for a good cry or toddler style fit.
  5. Time flies. Try and lean in to these years, savor them. It sounds ridiculous, but you will miss the middle of the night feedings and early morning snuggles on the sofa.

 

YOU really, really do HAVE this!!

Comment on my post on FB at The Real Kathy Lee or The Homegrown Preschooler for a chance to win this journal!!!


Find a way to #sayyes today.

Don’t forget to subscribe to my podcast and leave a review on iTunes!!!

Thank you to The Homegrown Preschooler for sponsoring this Podcast! Check out the blog post Kathy mentioned, Farmhouse Schoolhouse, to read more about A Year of Playing Skillfully.

Also, to thank you for listening, you can receive a 10% discount on any purchase at

The Homegrown Preschooler by using the code, THEREALKATHYLEE.

 

Are You An Unaware Mommy Shamer?

Are You an Unaware Mommy Shamer?Have you ever been guilty of mommy shaming? I sure have. I honestly did not realize I was doing it until years later, but unfortunately that doesn’t change the fact that I did it in the first place. I hope this episode will encourage you to look at yourself and make sure you aren’t guilty of the same thing.

Lesli often tells the story of me mommy shaming her shortly after we first met. She offered me a pair of shoes similar to the ones in the picture below and I refused them because “my daughter was not allowed to wear heels.” Yep, I said that. Nope, I am not proud. Yep, it was mommy shaming.

Once I looked back, I realized that I often mommy shamed in those early years. I would proudly state my opinion about holistic medicine, homeschooling, etc… not realizing that just my tone about the subject could be harming another mom.

Mothering is a mystery. Mothering is challenging. At times mothering is flat out overwhelming. Most of us are insecure of our decisions, especially early on. I think many of us “yell” out our opinion as a cry for affirmation. Unfortunately, our opinions are often seen as mommy shaming.

If you think you might be guilty of mommy shaming, here are my suggestions:

  1. Recognize why you mommy shame.
  2. Recognize when you mommy shame.
  3. Strive to be quietly confident, only sharing STRONG opinions among your inner circle.

Mommy shaming divides. We need each other. Let’s spend our time respecting each other, encouraging each other, and loving each other.

You’ve got this!

Find a way to #sayyes today.

Don’t forget to subscribe to my podcast and leave a review on iTunes!!!

Thank you to The Homegrown Preschooler for sponsoring this Podcast! Check out the blog post Kathy mentioned, Farmhouse Schoolhouse, to read more about A Year of Playing Skillfully.

Also, to thank you for listening, you can receive a 10% discount on any purchase at

The Homegrown Preschooler by using the code, THEREALKATHYLEE.

 

Mother’s Day Q&A with Ashley Smoot

Mother's Day Q&A with Ashley Smooth and The Real Kathy Lee!Recently, I went on Social Media asking moms what questions they would like me to answer on this mother’s day edition of The Real Kathy Lee. I couldn’t believe sooooo many questions were submitted. Although we didn’t get to them all, we did cover some really good ones. Ashley sorted through the questions and chose the following to ask me today.

  1. What’s your perspective on discipline for a toddler/preschooler that is godly, but also developmentally appropriate?
  • Offer real choices
  • Be lighthearted
  • Re-direct
  1. How do you make the decision to homeschool?
  • Do what is best for your family.
  • Not every family is meant to homeschool.
  • Review your decision yearly.
  1. What are your thoughts on time management? How do you have time to take care of everyone and take time for yourself?
  • Know yourself
  • Be willing to work outside a traditional schedule.
  • Be flexible.
  • Find time for yourself.
  • Make time for one on one dates with each child. Learn their love language.
  1. What is your advice on homeschooling beyond preschool?
  • Know your child’s interests and learning styles.
  • Don’t be scared to ask for help.
  • Consider a hybrid if you can’t do it all.
  1. What are my plans for mother’s day???

You will just have to listen to find out. 🙂

 

Happy Happy Mother’s Day!!!!

-Kathy

Don’t forget to subscribe to my podcast and leave a review on iTunes!!!

Thank you to The Homegrown Preschooler for sponsoring this Podcast! Check out the blog post Kathy mentioned, Farmhouse Schoolhouse, to read more about A Year of Playing Skillfully.

Also, to thank you for listening, you can receive a 10% discount on any purchase at

The Homegrown Preschooler by using the code, THEREALKATHYLEE.