Raising Them Up – a conversation with Israel Wayne – MBFLP 248

This episode, we’re talking with Israel Wayne, homeschool graduate, father of ten, and author of the new book Raising Them Up: Parenting for Christians. He shares some of the difficulties of his childhood – parents who divorced early, an abusive stepfather, times of poverty and homelessness – and the incredible way that God has redeemed that experience for His glory and the help of His people! You’ll enjoy this surprising and encouraging conversation with Family Renewal’s Israel Wayne.

Starting Over After a Rough Start

“When I got married, I was twenty-three, my wife was twenty, and we started our marriage with a clean slate,” Israel said. “I didn’t bring the baggage with me. I had the opportunity to start out on the right foot, developing the kind of relationship with my wife that my parents never had, learning how to be the father that my father wasn’t able to be. We now have ten children – our oldest is 20, our youngest is 16 months – five boys and five girls. And I think it’s really interesting, fascinating, and ironic in a way, that God has given us this ministry called “Family Renewal.

“This may be surprising to some people because some don’t know much about my back story. But I really believe in the capacity of God to reach families that are broken and families that don’t feel like there’s hope for them, that feel like, “Well, yeah, we’re not that poster family for homeschooling or ‘a Christian family.’ I believe that God’s grace is big enough that God can reach even you, and I believe my background leads me to have faith for those families. It’s part of why I do what I do and why I wrote Raising Them Up: Parenting for Christians.”

Not Available on Amazon!

Raising Them Up: Parenting for Christians is available direct from Family Renewal Ministries

CLICK HERE to order your copy! 


While We’re On The Subject

During this time of widespread shutdown and isolation, a lot of authors, teachers, and publishers are struggling. Dozens of homeschool conventions have been cancelled, including some of the largest in the United States and Canada, and that has made a serious dent in the support your favorite homeschool vendors need to keep going.

When you’re ordering online – and who isn’t, now? – would you take a minute and consider ordering direct from the authors and publishers? You might not know that when you save a dollar on a book at the (ahem) online megastore, 75% of the income from that book goes to the website owner – not the author. In normal times that’s just business reality – but while the crisis lasts, remember the creators who are pouring their heart and knowledge into your family and homeschool, and let’s channel those purchases back to the homeschool vendors you depend on!


GREAT NEWS!

 

Our book

NO LONGER LITTLE: Parenting Tweens with Grace and Hope

has received the

2020 CHRISTIAN INDIE AWARD

for the Relationships and Family category

“The Christian Indie Awards honor Christian books by independent authors and small publishers for outstanding contribution to Christian life.”

 

Awarded by the Christian Indie Publishing Association (formerly the Christian Small Publishers Association)

CLICK HERE to find out more, or order your copy! Available in print, audio CD, and downloadable formats

 

Secrets For Raising Kids

Secrets For Raising Kids | Do you want the secrets for raising great kids? No snowflake kids allowed in our home and I’m sure you’d agree your kids have opinions, they know what they want and often tell you when you least expect it. Join Felice Gerwitz and Denise Mira for a no-nonsense podcast where we get real about raising kids. (We should know, we have ten kids between the two of us!) | #podcast #homeschoolpodcast #raisingkidswithtruegrit #DeniseMira #raisingkids #greatkids #nosnowflakekids #children #kidsSecrets For Raising Kids Episode 399 with Denise Mira

Do you want the secrets for raising great kids? No snowflake kids allowed in our home and I’m sure you’d agree your kids have opinions, they know what they want and often tell you when you least expect it. Join Felice Gerwitz and Denise Mira for a no-nonsense podcast where we get real about raising kids. (We should know, we have ten kids between the two of us!)

Thanks to our sponsor, Reading Eggs- visit the website – Your child can learn to read in just 15 minutes a day! Reading Eggs is offering a special 30-Day FREE Trial. Sign up today and watch your child become a stronger reader! A multi-award winning learning program for children ages 2–13. Register at https://readingeggs.com/media1/
Hurry, offer ends May 16th! *Valid for new customers only.

Show Notes:

Visit my special guest DeniseMira.com 

With Denise’s five boys and my three boys and two girls, we’ve raised ten kids combined. We’ve learned some things such as one-size-does-not-fit-most and that no matter your child’s gender meltdowns happen from time to time. What do you do in these situations and how do you handle the kids who are a blessing you can not handle?

Raising kids is not secret. It takes work. But raising kids with an indomitable quality called “grit” takes the know-how that comes from experienced moms. We see overindulged children everywhere we go and many are in college in need of comfort and solitude. What happened to our parenting skills? With making the hard choices? In this episode we cover the character issues that plaque many children and the secrets to raising kids that you can be proud of when they become adults.

Why is it that our children imitate or pick up our most annoying traits? We examine not only the substance of character but also a test we parents can take to analyze our own parenting techniques. (Felice: I was a threatening-repeating parent … threats the kids did not take seriously because there was no follow-through! Thankfully after a few kids I realized this didn’t work well!) We as parents have to look at our children as the blessings they are but also realize it takes work and sometimes a trial and tribulation to get through the day.

Handout from Denise Secrets For Raising Kids:

True Grit-Secrets for Raising Kids VHM EP 399

Eight Secrets for Raising Kids:

  1. Substance of character
  2. The test for us parents
  3. Dopamine hits
  4. Emotional intelligence
  5. Trial and tribulation
  6. Struggle
  7. Perseverance
  8. James 1:2-4

Thank you to our Network Sponsor!

Click to watch the Trailer!


 

Raising Kids to Love Their Siblings – MBFLP 240

Is sibling rivalry just something to expect? Is it a foregone conclusion that our kids are going to be simmering with jealousy, rivalry, and unkindness toward one another? Or is there a way to promote friendship and affection between brothers and sisters? We have eight kids, and while they’ve had their moments of conflict, we’ve been blessed to see them grow in genuine love as they’ve matured. How can we foster this sort of relationship in the home?

TRAPS TO AVOID

We know families where the sibling relationships are so broken, some aren’t talking decades after the original hurt feelings. Our college students have remarked how many of their classmates are uninterested in going home for holidays or breaks. Where does the breakdown begin? More importantly, what can we avoid or correct, to preserve and promote better relationships?

  • Bullying or provoking behavior – they’re two forms of the same problem
  • Name calling – and when nicknames are and aren’t cool
  • A culture of sarcasm and irony
  • Battle of the sexes – don’t even start
  • Favoritism – it didn’t end well for Joseph nor Isaac

POSITIVE TRAITS TO PROMOTE

On the other hand, there are many things we can do to cultivate a better sort of family culture.

  • Teach them how to be friends
  • Praise and reward good behavior
  • Make family harmony a matter of honor
  • Provide opportunities to be friends
  • Build memories together
  • Share emotions – rejoice with them that rejoice
  • Cultivate respect – starting with husband and wife of each other, then parent/child and siblings

Remember, and teach your kids, that when the Bible speaks about love, it involves knowing the other person, and choosing to behave in a considerate and kindly manner to them. It’s an active choice, not just a feeling! And that means that we can hold that as a standard of behavior … and know it’s something we can actually do. Trust that when our actions are right, the feelings tend to follow!

UPCOMING EVENTS

February 27-29 – “Teach Them Diligently” Homeschool Convention – Nashville, TN

March 13-14 – LeaderLife Conference (Home Education Association of Virginia) – Williamsburg, VA

Chores – Why and How – MBFLP 237

Studies show that although children who have regular chores are more likely to be happy as kids and independent as adults, less than one out of three families expect their kids to help around the house. Only 28%! As a family of ten, we found that teaching our children to help out was a necessity. There are long-term benefits, too! This episode, we talk about why we need to give kids chores, and how we made it work.


Thank you to our Sponsor – A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood Movie!

Tom Hanks portrays Mister Rogers in A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, a timely story of kindness triumphing over cynicism, based on the true story of a real-life friendship between Fred Rogers and journalist Tom Junod. After a jaded magazine writer (Emmy winner Matthew Rhys) is assigned a profile of Fred Rogers, he overcomes his skepticism, learning about kindness, love and forgiveness from America’s most beloved neighbor.

Teaching “Adulting” – MBFLP 234

 

Studies show that young adults are often not prepared for adult independence. Psychologists say the current generation is growing up slowly, and some even say “Twenty-five is the new fifteen”!* But if our parents and grandparents were functioning adults at 18 or 20, why can’t our kids be the same? This episode we’re talking about how to teach adult skills intentionally to our teenagers – and what to do if they graduated before you were done teaching!


Join us for a free relationship builder!

CLICK HERE for more information!


The Importance of Fun – MBFLP 224

Who said school can’t be fun? This episode, we sit down with our friends Roger and Jan Smith, long-time homeschool parents and leaders in Louisiana. The topic is simply, “Fun” – what it can do to create memories, bond family members, and make learning a lot more enjoyable for parents and students alike!

Recently we visited with Roger and Jan Smith, leaders in the Louisiana homeschool community and dear friends of ours. One evening our family and our friends were playing a fast-paced game together, laughing hysterically, and thinking about what an important, bonding thing that is.

We were noticing how well our teenagers interacted with the adults in the room, and the obvious respect going in both directions, and we were talking later about how the shared experiences build that sort of relationship. They’re more and more important as we all become more individualized and isolated, focusing on our work and entertainment through private screens—even when we’re in the same room, we’re not interacting.

That’s one reason we love audiobooks when we’re driving or working together, because the whole family can share that experience and have a basis for conversations later. It’s a good reason for reading aloud together, even when the children are reading well on their own. We try and make intentional choices to do things together so in later years, our adult children will have memories that draw them back to their family home.

Another thing we do is make a big deal over family holidays. Birthdays are an example. In our home, the one we’re celebrating gets to choose the family menu for the day. At supper, we center the conversation on memories of the birthday person. Afterward, we take turns sharing things we love or admire about them. It’s really touching – everyone loves being appreciated, and it’s very easy to overlook the chances to communicate that respect.

A Sense of Humor

Shared humor is another thing we look for. A study of newlywed couples noticed how they interacted, especially the moments of humor in the midst of a problem. It defuses situations and reduces tension if we can refer to a shared joke or inside story. It’s a sign of a healthy relationship if you can still smile, if you can still laugh, if you can lighten up in the midst of your stress. That applies to your kids as well as your mate!

In fact, that study really pointed out that our relationships are formed from the moments we share. Little things count. It’s not like you have to learn a new language to really score points with your kids. Instead, you just need to  hear when they speak, make eye contact, and come back with a positive response.

And that’s something you get a dozen times a day to do. If you miss one, just determine to catch the next. It’s something you can build up without feeling like you have to make a huge investment before you see any benefit.

(Listen in for more great ideas about building memories and relationships with your family!)

Parenting Beyond the Rules with Connie Albers

Parenting Beyond the Rules

Parenting Beyond the Rules with Connie Albers

Podcast #68

Connie Albers joins us today to talk about Parenting Beyond the Rules, which happens to be the title of her new book! We discuss the book and more specifically, how to deal with apps and children. What to look for and why it is important to know what your children are doing on the internet and their devices.

About Book:

 

Parenting teens is one of the most challenging seasons of parenting, isn’t it? While this can be a difficult time of transition for parents and teens, there is hope. You can parent well and build a stronger relationship even through the teen years.

After 30 years of parenting five children and 20 years of working with teens, Connie Albers has witnessed the negative impact of well-intentioned but misguided parenting styles; all focused on managing teens rather than guiding them. But through learning to focus on the hearts of your teens, you can avoid those pitfalls and build relationships that last beyond the transition years as you intentionally learn about, connect with, and listen to your teens. In a world filled with distractions and devices, it is possible to guide their hearts and remain the primary influence in their lives. In Parenting beyond the Rules, you will discover how to raise a teen according to his or her strengths, talents, and personality type, as these things equip teens to manage life.

Join Connie Albers in discovering practical solutions for every parent trying to raise a responsible, godly teenager.

Connie Albers  ConnieAlbers.com

 

Connie will be one of our Keynote Speakers at Convention this year. She will be speaking on these topics and more during the 3 day weekend. Learn about our event and register at www.fpea.com/2019Convention

 

Join us January 4th – on the Carnival Magic

www.FPEA.com/Cruise2020

Join our Facebook Group

Call Carnival 1.800.764.7419 Be sure to use Group# 6GHW24Refresh FPEA Marriage Cruise #cruise #fpea #florida #homeschool #podcast

FPEA Members, Download Your Florida History Adventures+ Bundle

When Adult Kids Move Back Home – MBFLP 219

What do you do when the adult kids move out … and then come back?

It’s not uncommon – the Census Bureau reports that more than one out of three Millennials (ages 18-34) are living at home with their parents. (In some states, it’s nearly 50%!)

This is not unusual historically – when we look back in our family history a hundred years or more, we see it was common for adult children to be living with parents and sharing the work of farm, forge, and kitchen – or for newlyweds to be living with their parents or in-laws for a time, too.

But this has become more common in recent years. Why?

Young people are getting married later – age of first marriage is approaching 30 for men and 27 for women

  • In 1976, 75% of men and 93% of women were married by age 30
  • In 2014, it was half that – 32% of men and 46% of women
  • More Millennials live with their parents than with a spouse

Student loan debt is a serious burden to many, too. The average college graduate with a bachelor’s degree left school with nearly $28,500 in debt

And this all happening in the midst of a long, sluggish recovery from the financial crises of 2008 and beyond.

So it’s not surprising or rare for parents to find themselves with a twenty-something son or daughter moving back into their old bedroom.

The question is, how can we make this work for all of us?


This episode is brought to you by

The subscription box that builds your skills!

www.CraftsmanCrate.com


Long Distances with Little Ones – MBFLP 216

Long Distances with Little Ones

The Thanksgiving holiday is the busiest time of year on America’s highways, and you may be driving long hours with little ones on board. How do you manage this so you all arrive at Grandma’s in good spirits? We hit the road in 2010 with seven children in the van and we’re crisscrossing the country for six months every year. This episode, we’ll share what we’ve learned about covering long distance with little ones!

You’re Not Alone

Last year, AAA estimated 51 million of us would be on the road for Thanksgiving. That’s like the whole population of New York, Pennsylvania, Illinois, and Minnesota on the highway at the same time! It’s hard to guess how many of those millions were riding in booster seats, but you can bet it was a bunch.

There are some practical ways to make this more manageable for everyone: 

Long Distances with Little Ones

Making It Work

    1. Remember kids are kids – you’ve got make allowance for them. When Jacob met his brother Esau on the way back to his home country, Esau urged him to come along – but Jacob reminded him, “the children are weak,” and told him to go ahead, “[and] I will lead on slowly at a pace which the livestock …, and the children, are able to endure.” (Genesis 33:12-14)
    2. Take it easy on the mileposts. The fact that Dad the Road Warrior can handle 700 miles a day may not be the best plan for Mom and the kids. We were much happier when we slowed down our itinerary.
    3. Be sure that kids who sleep all day will be alert and active when Mom and Dad are ready for bed! We’ve done a few trips overnight or in the wee hours, but it made the parents grumpy the next day – and no child needs that! It’s tempting to pile on the miles while the crew is napping, but you’ll all be happier if you get out and get some exercise during the day. Which leads to our discovery,
    4. We all need regular breaks. On doctor’s advice, we make a brief stop every couple of hours. You’re going to need gas and rest rooms eventually, why not just plan on it? Modern travel plazas aren’t like the seedy truck stops of old – we find they’re usually clean, well-lit, and have large rest rooms. Which reminds us,
    5. “Mandatory Bathroom Stops” make it efficient. We just require everybody to get out and use the rest room, even if they “don’t need to go.” (We found the teenager who insisted he didn’t need to get out was the one who would have an emergency thirty minutes down the road.)
    6. Don’t miss the field trips along the way. We’ve had some great stops at National Parks, state historical sites, or even just picnic areas with a view. Go ahead – you might learn something, and if nothing else, the kids can run around and use up some energy! (Keep a ball or Frisbee handy to encourage some activity). A little research beforehand can highlight neat stuff ahead.
    7. Do like the airlines – distract the passengers with changing activities. You can hand out a snack, then a little while later surprise them with some new crayons or a book, then sing or play a car game, then maybe start a DVD or pop in an audio book (we’ve got some suggestions below!) Older kids might be able to do some schoolwork along the way – but if it’s a short vacation, you might want to just take the days off from book work and let them learn what they can from the travel.

In the old days, an education wasn’t considered complete until the student had experienced some serious travel. Now, it’s so much easier to get around, we tend to rush through it and miss the good stuff along the way. Slow down a bit, let the kids out of their car seats some, and enjoy the journey together!

 



Looking for some entertaining audiobooks that help build character, too? Check out the growing line of classic stories at RaisingRealMen.com, and for a limited time, use the coupon code audioholiday15 to take 15% off! Brought to you by our publisher, Great Waters Press!


Best of HIRL: The Educated Parent

Free homeschool podcast about maintaining an education as parents.We home educators spend a lot of time educating our kids. But what about us? Are we taking the time to learn more, discover more, and be curious?

This episode of Homeschooling in Real Life is dedicated to you, the homeschooling parent. We want to see you grow and thrive in your role as parent educator, and to that end we’re talking about the reasons to educate yourself as well as the how-to. Let’s get learning!

 


SHOW NOTES:

Recommended Resources:

Hoopla – Library digital borrowing

Khan Academy – Free education

Follow Fletch/Kendra:
Fletch Twitter
Kendra Twitter

Follow the Studio Dogs:
Betty the Surf Dog – Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Website
Rasta The Chocolate Lab – Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Website

Previous Episodes Mentioned:

Episode 91 – Is Me Time Necessary?

Music clips used on this episode:
School Boy Heart by Jimmy Buffett – Buy it here on iTunes


Special Thanks to Our Network Sponsor – Change is in the Air Movie

This story embraces the imperfections that make us human, offers a way to set ourselves free and asks us all to take a good, long look at the wild birds in the sky.

Watch the trailer here!