Loving Children Who Have Experienced Trauma | Replay

A Production of the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

Loving Children Who Have Experienced Trauma with The Real Kathy LeeWhat is trauma?

This episode is sponsored by CTCMath.com.

trau·ma
ˈtroumə,ˈtrômə/
noun

1.
a deeply distressing or disturbing experience.

What causes trauma in young children?

  • Past or Present Abuse
  • Stress in the home
  • Divorce
  • Death of Pet
  • Death of Family Member/Friend
  • Unhealthy environment
  • Adding a new family member.
  • Move
  • Witnessing something horrible, scary, or stressful. This can be a real life event or witnessed via media.

You don’t need to know what caused the trauma in order to help.
Behavior is Communication
GET CURIOUS…What is their behavior saying to you?

  • Withdrawn
  • Anxious
  • Misbehavior
  • Angry
  • Fearful
  • Powerless
  • Exhausted

THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU

If it is a big deal to them, it is a big deal. Try to stay unemotional during the most emotional times.

Children from hard places need to know they are safe, loved and Accepted, no matter what.

Essentials of TIC (Trauma Informed Classroom)
Connect – Focus on Relationships
Protect – Promote Safety and Trustworthiness
Respect – Engage in Choice and Collaboration
Redirect (Teach and Reinforce) – Encourage SkillBuilding and Competence
Hummer, V., Crosland, K., Dollard, N., 2009

10 ways to help…

1. Have a Routine.
2. Choose Your Words Carefully.
3. Provide a space for one.
4. Give permission to feel.
5. Honor their feelings.
6. Be available.
7. Be flexible.
8. Educate others.
9. Don’t expect to have all the answers (Ask them).
10. Create opportunities in the classroom for the child to experience success.

Make a plan…
What do you need to be prepared?

Who do you need to talk to?

Any unresolved trauma in your own background?

What needs to change in you OR your environment?

More Episodes on the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network

Replay: Communication Skills with Special Needs

A Production of the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

Communication Skills with Special Needs and Struggling LearnersCommunication Skills with Special Needs and Struggling Learners

Do you struggle with communication skills with your special needs or struggling learner? Listen in to this episode with Lisa & Peggy.

with Peggy Ployhar

  1.  Communication is way more than speaking
  2. Communication Skills Improve Future Outcome
  3. The Three Basic means of communications
  4. 4 ways to incorporate communication skills into your regular schooling.

Sponsored by True North Homeschool Academy  True North Homeschool Academy offers live on-line Special Needs Classes-,

Special Needs Academic Advising  and Testing. Live, on-line, small group, dynamic, interactive and fun!

To teach your SPED kids communication skills:

  • Get your kids talking- utilize film- help them see themselves communicating and then give them gentle instruction and ways for improving.
  • Help kids realize that conflict happens when communicating. Give them tools and skills to deal with conflict, including developing empathy and understanding the other side of the story.
  • Above all, listen and obey where God is taking you.

SPED Homeschool

You can tune in every Tuesday evening on the SPED Homeschool Facebook page to watch Peggy host SPED Homeschool Conversations

or you can join her daily on her personal YouTube channel, Daily Revelations.

To see a listing of Peggy’s upcoming Facebook live broadcasts, check out the  SPED Homeschool Facebook Event page. For past broadcasts, check out the SPED Homeschool YouTube channel or podcast site.

True North Homeschool Academy is her to come alongside you as you homeschool your Special Needs or Struggling Learner.

Special Needs Classes- Live, on-line, small group, dynamic, interactive and fun!

Special Needs Academic Advising 

Testing – done in the privacy of your own home. Safe, secure, results come to you!

Listen to more episodes here!

Rules and Relationship – MBFLP 289

A Production of the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

Rules are a good and necessary part of running a home and raising a family. Why do our best efforts sometimes breed resentment or even rebellion, when it’s all so well-intentioned? This episode we’re looking at the crucial balance between rules and relationship in our home!

Scriptures We Reference

The Ten Commandments – Exodus 20:1-17, Deuteronomy 5:1-21

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?”
     Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.  This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 22:36-40)

Let each be fully convinced in his own mind. (Romans 14:5)

Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. (Ephesians 6:1)

So then, my beloved, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.  (James 1:19-20)

The repentance of Ahab – 1 Kings 21:17-29

 

Special Replay | Easter Traditions

A Production of the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

Easter Traditions for your family Easter Traditions ~ Episode 464

What are those special Easter Traditions you share as a family? In this episode, with Felice Gerwitz and Crystal Niehoff, you will learn that many Christian families have a diversity of ideas on how to celebrate this holiest day of our Lord’s resurrection.

Welcome to Crystal Niehoff who along with her husband, Kevin, an Army Chaplain hosts the History For Christian Teens podcast on the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network. Be sure to subscribe to their wonderful show for teens (and tweens can listen in as well!).

What makes Easter special? Remembering the time of the life, death, and Resurrection of Our Lord Jesus Christ! This is a day of celebration for many families and it is more than cute Easter bunnies and chocolate. What makes Easter special in your family? If you have not given it thought think about this, and brainstorm with your family.

  • Some Easter Traditions:
  • Lent (celebrated by Felice’s family 40 days before Easter).
  • Resurrection Eggs – Tokens with the remembrance of Easter for children. Plastic eggs contain a symbol the depiction of something that represents Easter with a guidebook.
  • Good Friday – suffering, and death of Christ.
    • Felice’s family fasts from all meat on Fridays leading up to Easter. We also attend church on Thursday and Friday before Easter.
  • Sunrise Service. Crystal’s family attends (her husband officiates)
  • Easter Vigil – Saturday evening before Easter. Evening service with Scripture readings from Genesis to the Resurrection.
  • The best Resource is the Bible
    • Four Gospels have a different perspective
    • Older teens can read the Gospels and compare the Bible account
  • Thankfulness is not just for Thanksgiving – Easter is a great time to be thankful.
  • Easter is the eternal lesson for celebrating the gifts of the sacrificial love of Christ.

Easter Traditions do not need to take much money (See Easter on the Cheap, last week’s Vintage Homeschool Moms episode). The most important thing to remember is the time we spend with our family can not be replaced.

Special Replay | Best Ways To Nurture Relationships With Your Child

A Production of the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

Let’s Talk About the Best Ways To Nurture Relationships With Your Child

Podcast Title: best way to nurture relationships with your child

Special Replay | Podcast # 157

The experts are in the house!

We will learn about the best ways to nurture relationships with your child! S

Whether you have one child or multiple children, we all want a good relationship with our kids. We want children who grow up wonderful, happy, and settled in life – and what better way than beginning their journey at home. In this broadcast, we discuss some tips as well as some ideas.

with Felice Gerwitz and Special Guests – Israel and Brook Wayne ~ Family Renewal … and Hal and Melanie Young ~ Making Biblical Family Life Practical

Special SponsorMedia Angels, Inc. – by homeschool moms for homeschool moms

MediaAngelsAd


Show Notes: Best Ways To Nurture Relationships With Your Child

Felice Gerwitz – Tips on the Best Ways To Nurture Relationships with your child

  1. Your relationship with your spouse (single parents – your relationship with the Lord)
  2. Love your kids enough to do what you need to do
  3. Be available
  4. Threatening and repeating parent
  5. Be the type of parent you wish you had

Israel and Brook Wayne – Tips on the Best Ways To Nurture Relationships with your child

Authors of “Pitchin’ A Fit” 

  1. Bring your child close to you when you discuss issues
  2. Correct in a different environment like outdoors on swings (Brook explains this on the audio)

Hal and Melanie Young – Tips on the Best Ways To Nurture Relationships with your child

  1. Little ones are real people
  2. Listen and interact
  3. Show delight
  4. Parenting styles change as they age
  5. Teens – talk them through
  6. Authentic praise
  7. Need to be there for them
  8. God gave us these children – He’ll provide
  9. Pray, repent, and apologize when needed – we all mess up

Photo credit – DepositPhoto.com All Rights Reserved. Copyright Wavebreakmedia

Special Replay | Loving Your Spouse

A Production of the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

Loving Your spouse

Loving Your Spouse

Before we jump in to talk about Loving Your Spouse, be sure to grab our February Organize It! Planner!

Let’s Talk About: Loving Your Spouse – Podcast #121

How do you love your spouse when you don’t feel like it or don’t want to?

For some, it does not come easily. My husband once told me, very early on in our marriage, that he could never make me happy and that true happiness only comes from God.

It was very true because I kept trying to find happiness in him – and as a human, he kept disappointing me. In this episode, we examine love, discuss relationships, self-giving vs. self-serving, and we’ll explore what love looks like to you and how you can be happy in a relationship with some of the right tools.

Show Notes: Loving Your Spouse

Scripture Verses:

  1. 1 Peter 3:1
  2. Colossians 3:18-19

Loving your spouse involves not comparing this person and realizing the following…

  1. We are all human – “news flash” – just in case you didn’t know
  2. We are not married to the hallmark version of what a real man or real woman looks like
  3. If you think there is someone better out there for you – think again
  4. You made a commitment to marriage and a promise to each other – so make it work
  5. There is no such thing as too late.

Keys to Loving your spouse and having a happy marriage:

  1. Grow together spiritually
  2. Know that while walks in the park, romantic dinners, and quiet get-a-ways  are all very nice but not the key to growing.
  3. Be thankful for each other as a gift from God.
  4. Thank God and delve closer into your relationship with Him.
  5. Tell each other, “I love you,” often!
  6. The key to fixing any problem is to fix yourself
  7. Seek forgiveness – if you have offended your spouse, apologize and ask forgiveness – sometimes people don’t even know why their spouse is angry – so find out why

Resources for Loving Your Spouse

25+ Marriage Resources

Additional Podcasts

What To Do When You And Your Spouse Disagree About Discipline

 

 

 

September Ultimate Checklists Freebie

A Production of the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

September is here, and that means back-to-homeschool is in full swing. The curriculum has been purchased and planned. We’ve moved from the anything-goes schedules and summer vacations of August and Summer to settled into the approach of autumn.  This is a perfect time to pause and reflect on the rhythm of our homes and homeschools. Before you blink, the holiday season will be here. How do we make the most of those introductory months of our homeschool? The September Ultimate Checklist can give you the direction and insight you need.

 

Prayer, Planning, and Pause in Your Home

All good planning begins with prayer. Take the time to seek the Lord for your homeschool. Pray for each of your children, your spouse, and your homeschooling year.

As you pray, note anything the Lord lays on your heart, then pause.

Pausing before planning, especially when you’ve taken the time to pray, allows you to catch your breath. What’s working? Where is the stress coming from? What are our homeschool goals for this year?  Where can we improve? What can we let go of? How is my family? Take the time to reflect and record what you’ve learned.

Planning, when done with prayerful seeking, is more than just a printable; it’s a set of rails to set your homeschool success upon. Truly, the printable is a tool you to use, but the real work in planning is done before you print the first page of the printable.

What is in the September Checklist Freebie?

This month’s checklist has everything you need to wind down summer and enjoy the fall season.

September is the perfect time to pray, reflect, and organize your home and homeschool. Additionally, there are many creative holidays to note and fun field trip ideas, too. So, don’t forget to plan your field trips; winter will be here, and we’ll be hearthside more than outside!

  • Checklists Guide – This is a breakdown of how to use the lists for the month, with suggestions to help you get started.
  • Objectives Worksheet
  • Weekly Planning Worksheet
  • Blank Printable September Calendar
  • Four square planners: Faith, Kids, School, and Household
  • Evaluation Weekly Worksheets
  • Motivational Posters and Scripture Posters
  • Printable September Checklist
  • Fun Things to do in September Printable
  • September Holidays Printable Sheet
  • Field Trip Planning
  • Tips for School Pictures
  • First Day of Fall Party Guide
  • Reading Log
  • Organization Checklist
  • Chore Schedule Blank Sheet
  • Quarterly Planning
  • School Planning Sheets
  • Sample School Schedules to Follow
  • Homeschool Weekly Planning Sheets
  • Meal Planning Helps and Suggestions

Download the monthly checklist sent out in each weekly ezine; these are available to subscribers only.

The planner access information is always located at the bottom of each email. Make sure you are signed up so you don’t miss it.

You can sign up HERE as a subscriber if you are not signed up.

September Ultimate checklists

 

You Are the RIGHT Parent for Your Homeschooler, Interview with Anita Gibson

A Production of the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

This week on Homeschool Highschool Podcast: You Are the RIGHT Parent for Your Homeschooler, Interview with Anita Gibson.

You Are the Right Parent for Your Homeschooler, Interview with Anita Gibson

You Are the RIGHT Parent for Your Homeschooler, Interview with Anita Gibson

Ever have doubts about your ability to parent your homeschool high schoolers? The high school years can be a challenge. After all, we know that we are preparing our teens for life after graduation. We want them to be ready for all they will be facing. What if we do not do enough for them and with them? We can be full of doubt! That’s why we asked our good friend, Anita Gibson, to chat with us. She shares why you are the right parent for your teens.

Anita has homeschooled for over twenty years, and as she says:

It’s been the good, the bad and the ugly! Parenting is the real deal!

Coming out on the other end, Anita says that she is glad she had the homeschool years to get to know her kids well and help them find fulfilling lives.

Anita administrates Simply Homeschool Facebook group, is a director of several local homeschool programs, leads a team of seven high school educational consultants for HSLDA, and has started the website National Homeschool Advocacy.

One of Anita’s God-given gifts is the gift of encouragement. (If you have not yet read her book, StarFinder, you need to do it! You and your teens will be so encouraged!)

So in this episode we are talking about why you are the right parent for your homeschooler!

Why are you the right one to parent your particular teens? Here are some reasons:

God gave you that child

It was not an accident! You were specifically assigned that child by God. He also gave you what you need to do raise that child well. Even on a bad day, when we are doubting ourselves we can recalibrate with the thought:

We can depend on God and the fact He will continue to equip us with what we need to homeschool our teens well.

However, we need to remember that our parenting and homeschooling is not dependent on our strength, but on the strength and wisdom that God will give us (II Corinthians 12:10).

The homeschooling parent we are now is not the homeschooling parent we will be at the end of this process

God gave us teenagers to help us grow! We are in the middle of a growth process, just as our teens are growing!

Have you ever noticed that before we started parenting, we were “parenting experts”? At least, that is how Vicki saw herself. There is nothing like real parenting, though, to squash the feelings of expertise! She found out that she needed her homeschool mom-friends as well as God’s help in the parenting process. Therefore, she grew spiritually, emotionally and socially as much as her teens did throughout the homeschool process!

Perfection is not required

The longer you homeschool high schoolers, the more you will notice your imperfections! So, remember:

Perfection is NOT required!

Over time you will become something more but where you are is the perfect place to start. When you are called to parent or homeschool, hold onto the fact that once you start, success (not perfection) is in your future. God plans for you to have success (even though you will have ups and downs, hard days, dark days as well as lots of good days).

God is not requiring perfection. When He gave you the homeschooling high school job, He didn’t expect you to do it perfectly- because none of us could anyway! 

Homeschooling: Perfection is NOT required!

Get used to waiting

It is wise to adopt the “spiritual posture” or mindset of waiting. While you are waiting on God’s direction, strength or wisdom, if you are wise you learn to have peace- even in those challenging moments. It is the kind of peace that does not deny there are stressors going on, but the kind of peace that knows the answers will come.

We Americans often feel we need to have all our skills and wisdom NOW. Instead, remember that God has planned for success. Success is in our future! His version of success might not look like our version of success, but it is a good success anyway!

Be humble in front of your teens

Model praying for your homeschool high schoolers and ask them for their prayers for your own growth and wisdom. That is the fruit of the Spirit: Humility.

Then listen to your teens’ input. For instance, when one of Vicki’s teens had enough of Mom’s attempts at helping him with high school math, they found a mom at our local homeschool umbrella school to teach him instead. This did not mean that Vicki was the wrong homeschool parent for her teen. Rather, it meant that Vicki was becoming a resource manager. After all, as Anita says:

Homeschooling is about teaching your children how to learn!

We parents are not supposed to be the best at everything! Rather, we want them to learn that as adults, they can look for resources to keep learning things they need to know.

No one can homeschool high school better for your teens. You are the right parent for your homeschoolers!

Remember, God will use your strengths, weaknesses and His grace to grow you and your teens. There will be challenges and growth, hard things and good times, teaching and farming out the teaching. It is all good in the long run.

Also, remember not to compare yourself with other homeschooling parents. You are supposed to be growing and intentional in your relationship with God and your family members. You are NOT supposed to be the same as other homeschooling parents!

An example of being the right parent for homeschoolers

Anita’s daughter was born talking. She taught herself to read at a very early age but she still talked all the time. Anita sometimes had to lock herself in the bathroom just for an escape from the chatter. She found it tempting to want to shut the chatter down. Eventually, God showed her these gifts:

  • Her daughter WANTED to share her thoughts with her. That is a privilege!
  • Anita needed to allow God to give her more capacity to attentively listen.
  • She also found ways for her daughter to use her voice in debate and drama. This led to college scholarships in international policy and now a career in the diplomatic corps. Now she gets paid well to do the very things that had once been irritating. In this way, God grew both Anita and her daughter!

Anita found that she was the RIGHT mom for her homeschoolers, by God’s grace.

One last thought from Anita:

Don’t try to change your kids or you from the outside…It’s an INSIDE job! The job that comes from the work of God in you and through you.

Remember God made us the right parent for our kids so we can KNOW, that we and our kids can rest in Him and grow.

Join Vicki and Anita for an encouraging discussion that reminds you that you  are the right parent for your homeschooler! Also check out these other marvelous chats with Anita:

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Helping Kids Deal with Stress – MBFLP 270

A Production of the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

We adults may feel like we’re under stress all the time, but we can’t overlook the fact that our kids are suffering, too! Last episode we talked about how we respond when we’re confronted with uncertainty and unpleasant news. How can we help our kids deal with the disruptions of life on their level?

Lest We Forget

Parents have had to make a lot of adjustments the past two years. Our kids are dealing with some of the same issues, from their own perspective. That may be school closures or other changes in their educational routines. It may be uncertainty over adult issues, like lost of employment, quarantines, or restrictions on travel or social gatherings. Even if everything comes from the same root cause, like the pandemic, its impact will be felt differently from one family to the next — and from one family member to the next.

Over the years, we’ve had a share of uncertainty and unhappy events — medical emergencies, job changes, relocations, disrupted plans. With a large family, and one that travels with us most of the time, we had to realize that we couldn’t hide much from the kids. It seemed better to us to share our concerns, in child-sized portions, so they could understand why things were “wrong” right then.

Our kids are not clones

We need to remember that our kids are individuals – maybe with a lot of commonalities, but still with their own approach to the world around them. A quiet child may be full of turmoil inside, while the noisy one may actually be calmer after venting all his drama. Consider that, as you answer and counsel the outspoken child, other siblings may be listening and learning without asking. Just don’t overlook the ones who aren’t “in your face”!

Younger kids need reassurance. Are Mom and Dad going to be here for me? Do they have a plan to deal with things? Are they safely in charge still?

Teenagers can often step into some adult roles. We found that in moments of crisis, our teens were able to pick up some of their parents’ concerns — running errands, doing more household tasks, taking more responsibility for themselves and their younger brothers and sisters.

Watch out for the middle kids, though. Often they are old enough to understand some of the needs, but too young to do much to help. It can be very frustrating for them! Look for tasks they can do, even if they’re not major burdens to the adults. Your middle school kids are likely to be much more capable than you think (check out our book No Longer Little for more ideas and encouragement!).

(continued)

But what about the conclusion?

What happens when the pressure’s relieved? Count on it – family members which have “held it together” for the team while the crisis is underway, will often come unglued when the emergency is over. It’s best to plan on some time to re-adjust to “normal” when you’ve been through a time of stress. Give yourself and everyone around you an extra measure of grace – a heaping serving of it, in fact. If you expect there to be a time of transition, you can move into it with some care – rather than experiencing “explosive decompression” that causes problems for everyone!

Passages We Referenced

Romans 8:28And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

Matthew 10:29-31 (Jesus)“Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.”

Galatians 6:2Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

James 1:2-4My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

Resources You Might Appreciate

No Longer Little: Parenting Tweens with Grace and Hope by Hal and Melanie Young

Eleanor Porter’s Pollyanna and Pollyanna Grows Up – audiobooks narrated by Melanie Young

 

 


 

A Special Thank You to Our Network Sponsor:  Courageous Movie

 

From the Kendrick Brothers, creators of the No. 1 box-office movie WAR ROOM and OVERCOMER, comes the remastered re-release of COURAGEOUS Legacy, in theaters September 24. Celebrating 10 years of impact on families and fathers, this updated version of the film includes new scenes and an enhanced look and sound.

Filled with action-packed drama, COURAGEOUS Legacy will once again have viewers laughing, crying, and cheering as they are challenged and inspired by everyday heroes who long to be the kinds of dads that make a lifelong impact on their children. Protecting the streets is second nature to these men. Raising their children in a God-honoring way? That’s courageous.

Check out the trailer here!


Teens, Preteens, and Social Anxiety – MBFLP 263

A Production of the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.


One of the hallmarks of adolescent behavior is social awkwardness, often to the point of anxiety. That’s true in the best of times! Yet here we are after a year of pandemic alarms, mandates, and “abundance of caution,” and you may be finding your young people are not eager to begin seeing people outside the family again. What can we do to help our teens and preteens resume normal, healthy interactions?

Resources We Reference

Our episode reviewing Dr. Jean Twenge’s book iGen about characteristics of our children’s generation

“How the Pandemic has Impacted Teen Mental Health,” Mott Poll Report, 3/15/21

Craftsman Crate by subscription, individual boxes, or party packs



Upcoming Events (May-June 2021)

We’ll be speaking at the Thrive! Conference (North Carolinians for Home Education) in Winston-Salem, N.C., on May 27-29, 2021. We’re speaking four times on Thursday and Friday, on parenting pre-teens, helping your struggling learners in high school and college, the challenges of boys and media, and what you can achieve academically with a more relaxed homeschooling approach. And our booth is in the usual spot on the upper level of the book fair!

We’ll also be part of the Homeschooling With Confidence: Unstoppable online event hosted by Home Educators Association of Virginia (HEAV.org). This is going to be a different sort of online event with more interaction with the speakers and with other attendees – we’re looking forward something special with this one!