Stopping Sibling Squabbling – MBFLP 213


Stopping Sibling Squabbling

If your child has siblings it’s just about certain they’ll have squabbling. Sibling rivalry of one sort or another is unpleasant but normal – the question for us as parents is, “What can I do about it? How can I deal with the bickering and arguments, to make our home a place of peace and harmony?” In this episode we talk about what we’ve learned raising our family of eight strong-willed, opinionated, energetic, competitive kids!

Stopping Sibling Squabbling

Your Family is Meant to Be an Example

The Bible has many passages which suggest that our family relationships are an illustration of spiritual truths. When Paul talks about the relationship of husbands and wives, he concludes, “This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:32) How can we understand the new relationship of fellow believers in the church? By comparing it to the fellowship of parents to children and siblings with one another (1 Timothy 5:1-2). When Jesus is called “a friend who sticks closer than a brother,” (Proverbs 18:24) that makes no sense if brotherhood is all about fighting, arguments, and hostility!

Some Practical Guidelines

We’ve established some household rules that are meant to create or maintain a culture of peace and harmony!

  1. No Name Calling – Names are important in the Bible, and if our kids have a complaint with one another, theyr’e not allowed to sling nicknames or taunts at each other. Never – not even using a common nickname that the child doesn’t want. If you always go by Edward, you might consider Teddy an undesirable handle!
  2. No Bullying or Pestering – Bullying is using your greater strength, size, or another advantage, to intimidate and persecute other people. Pestering is using your lesser ability to lay traps for the stronger sibling, then running to Mama as a “victim.”
  3. Rejoice With Those Who Rejoice – And weep with those that weep (Romans 12:16). The Bible tells us to come alongside our brethren in the church and share in their feelings. We encourage the same standard with our children.
  4.  Remember We’re On The Same Team – We don’t let our children get a I-win-you-lose mentality toward their siblings, and we encourage them to see one sibling’s success as a victory for Team Family. Sure, they play games and compete that way, but in day to day life, we encourage them to think in terms of cooperation and collaboration, not trying to “beat” their brother or sister.

A Long Term Project

Just a few days ago, two of our teenagers were having a disagreement. Hal sat them down and gave them a simple challenge – that every day, moment by moment, they were making decisions about how to interact. Are they working to build unity, harmony, and love within the family? Or are their words and actions tearing that down?

It’s important to remember two things. First, that this is a life-long process. We still have to remind, rebuke, coach, and encourage our kids, long after they’re teenagers. It’s not a simple checklist on the fridge that fixes everybody’s attitude in an afternoon!

But secondly, we need to keep close in mind that we homeschoolers are the primary source of our children’s socialization. Sure, they may pick up undesirable words or attitudes from media, group meetings, or friends, but since they spend most of their time with their parents, we have to be honest. When we find a social behavior that we don’t like, they may very well be picking it up from us. If the children are disrespectful to Mom, are they following Dad’s example? If they have a sarcastic tone, are they imitating Mom? We need to live our own lives in our family to be a pattern for our kids. The family life they see around their dinner table every day is very likely to be the family life our grandchildren experience one day!

RESOURCES WE MENTIONED

No Longer Little: Parenting Tweens with Grace and Hope by Hal and Melanie Young

Interested in having Hal or Melanie speak at your event? CLICK HERE for information!

Come Away Weekend – our marriage retreat and giveaway – Flat Rock, NC – October 19-21

Special Needs Conference for Gifted and Struggling Learners – Orlando, FL – November 16-17

 


Special Thanks to our Network Sponsor, Kiwi Crate!

 

 

We’d like to thank our Ultimate Homeschool Radio Network sponsor, Kiwi Crate!

KiwiCo has monthly subscriptions of hands-on projects that make learning fun! Their core offering is projects that make learning about STEAM — science, technology, engineering, art, and math — accessible and are designed to spark creativity, tinkering, and learning. Some recent favorite crates are the Slime Lab, Physics Carnival, and Paper Circuits.

Ultimate Homeschool Radio Network is excited to be able to offer you the chance to try them for FREE. To learn more about their projects for kids ages 2 to 16 AND to redeem this exclusive offer, click here to get your first month free today (just pay $4.95 for shipping)


Best of HIRL Holiday Series: What To Do About Sibling Relationships?

Free homeschool podcast discussing sibling rivalry.We received a message on the HomeschoolingIRL Facebook page that said, “Please, please, please do an episode on siblings fighting. Thanks!”

Sibling relationships. Sibling rivalries. Siblings fighting. We put out the question to our listeners and they responded with story after story of siblings who know how to tease, fight and use sarcasm like professionals.

On this episode, we dig into the topic of parenting through sibling relationships in your homeschool. Fletch and Kendra open up about their own family and share practical advice for handling those tricky, sticky moments when brothers and sisters want to be anything but best friends. We also announce our coffee contest winner and we each answer the question: “What Ben/Jerry’s ice cream flavor would you create and what would you call it?”

 

Music clips used on this show:

“George Street Shuffle” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Three Little Birds, Ziggy Marley (Click on link to purchase)

Pick A Little/Talk A Little, The Music Man (Click on link to purchase)

 


Special Thanks to our Network Sponsor, Kiwi Crate!

 

We’d like to thank our Ultimate Homeschool Radio Network sponsor, Kiwi Crate!

KiwiCo has monthly subscriptions of hands-on projects that make learning fun! Their core offering is projects that make learning about STEAM — science, technology, engineering, art, and math — accessible and are designed to spark creativity, tinkering, and learning. Some recent favorite crates are the Slime Lab, Physics Carnival, and Paper Circuits.

Ultimate Homeschool Radio Network is excited to be able to offer you the chance to try them for FREE. To learn more about their projects for kids ages 2 to 16 AND to redeem this exclusive offer, click here to get your first month free today (just pay $4.95 for shipping)


Babysitting – HIRL Episode 146

Free homeschooling podcast about sibling babysitting.Some of our best episodes have been created as the result of our listeners’ great ideas, and this is one of those episodes! We’re talking all about leaving younger siblings with older siblings in the role of babysitter: the ins and outs, the expectations, and other various aspects of that realty.

We hope it sets the stage for good discussion with your own kids and allows you to successfully encourage your own in-house babysitters.


SHOW NOTES:

Recommended Resources:

None

Get Social With Us:

Follow Fletch/Kendra:
Fletch Twitter
Kendra Twitter

Follow the Studio Dogs:
Betty the Surf Dog – Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Website
Rasta The Chocolate Lab – Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Website

Previous Episodes Mentioned:
None

Music clips used on this episode:
None


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ADVERTISERS/SPONSORS:

Sony Pictures/Affirm Films

Download the Christian Family Discussion Guide Here

Please visit our coffee sponsor: Caroline’s Coffee for 10% off any order.
Use code HIRL


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Join Fletch (from theMangoTimes) and Kendra (from KendraFletcher.com) for the HomeschoolingIRL podcast every week as they interview guests and talk through some of the goofiness they have experienced in nearly two decades.


LISTEN HERE

Are you ready to listen to Fletch and Kendra get real about homeschooling? Press the PLAY button below.

Changing Your Parenting Style – MBFLP 125

MBFLP - Changing Your Parenting Style - V

 

Every older sibling, sooner later, will say, “You never would have let me do that!” And they’re likely right. The question is not, does your parenting change, but rather, why, and sometimes, why not already?  This episode we look at four very good reasons that your style might change — and some reasons it ought to!

 

MBFLP 91 – Sibling Rivalry

MBFLP-2015-08-10 Sibling Rivalry - pixabay by blickpixel

If there are siblings in the house, you’ve got to be worried about sibling rivalry. It’s not just an irritation – the Bible gives example after example where siblings and their jealousies had disastrous consequences! But as a practical matter, how can we head off sibling rivalry at home … or respond to it when it’s already a fact? Hal and Melanie have eight children, six of them boys, and they’ve learned some useful ways to handle “trouble between brothers” — join us!

RESOURCES YOU MIGHT APPRECIATE

“How To Fight So You Both Win” – This workshop helps you sort out what arguments are truly not worth having, and then how you can work out disagreements so that both sides leave satisfied. Downloadable mp3 – CLICK HERE.

My Beloved and My Friend by Hal and Melanie Young. We devoted a whole chapter in our marriage book to resolving conflicts in a Godly way … and these principles work for children as well a grown-ups. Available in print, ebook, and audiobook formats. CLICK HERE.

What To Do About Sibling Relationships? – HIRL Episode 53

Free homeschool podcast discussing sibling rivalry.We received a message on the HomeschoolingIRL Facebook page that said, “Please, please, please do an episode on siblings fighting. Thanks!”

Sibling relationships. Sibling rivalries. Siblings fighting. We put out the question to our listeners and they responded with story after story of siblings who know how to tease, fight and use sarcasm like professionals.

On this episode, we dig into the topic of parenting through sibling relationships in your homeschool. Fletch and Kendra open up about their own family and share practical advice for handling those tricky, sticky moments when brothers and sisters want to be anything but best friends. We also announce our coffee contest winner and we each answer the question: “What Ben/Jerry’s ice cream flavor would you create and what would you call it?”

 

Timeline
1:00 – Introduction
2:40 – Letter from Listener 1
5:04 – Letter from Listener 2
7:04 – Sibling rivalry intro
12:00 – Siblings who are Introverts/Extroverts
14:16 – Two boys battling all the time
18:17 – Coffee Contest Winner/Bonus Question for Fletch/Kendra
23:45 – Siblings fighting for attention
25:00 – Creating space for your kids
26:00 – Sarcasm among siblings
27:30 – Boys fighting
29:39 – Help me! I’m nagging
33:35 – Closing thoughts

SHOW NOTES

Our Sponsor:

Please visit our coffee sponsor: Caroline’s Coffee for 10% off any order.

Music clips used on this show:

“George Street Shuffle” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Three Little Birds, Ziggy Marley (Click on link to purchase)

Pick A Little/Talk A Little, The Music Man (Click on link to purchase)


Join Fletch (from theMangoTimes) and Kendra (from Preschoolers and Peace and KendraFletcher.com) for the HomeschoolingIRL podcast every week as they interview guests and talk through some of the goofiness they have experienced in nearly two decades of Homeschooling In Real Life.

HomeschoolingIRL 053 – What To Do About Sibling Relationships?

Join Fletch and Kendra as they answer listener questions about sibling rivalry.

MBFLP – Helping Siblings Love Each Other

Helping Siblings Love Each Other

Is sibling rivalry an issue at your house? The Bible often speaks of love among brothers – it’s used as an example of how we should get along in the church, for instance. Yet that image doesn’t have much meaning if our relationship with our earthly brothers is marked by anger, resentment, and hurt feelings, does it? And too often, that’s the kind of relationship which seems to be growing in our families.

This episode, we talk about some practical things we’ve discovered that help our kids grow in trust and appreciation of each other. We’re finding these ideas have wider application to other relationships, too, and we talk about that aspect as well!