Homeschool Secret Weapon ~ Episode 491

The homeschool secret weapon is not the perfect curriculum, perfectly run home, or peaceful household. While all of those things are great, the true secret lies in the little-known information, and once you get it right, the rest falls into place. Join veteran homeschooling mom Felice Gerwitz as she shares her homeschool experience with you.

Visit the updated MediaAngels.com website for classes, books, and planners to help you on your homeschool journey.

If you missed my last podcast, Homeschooling Secrets, check it out here.

So…it’s time to dig deep, and I need your full attention. Sure, homeschool moms are great multi-taskers. You may be driving, folding clothes, or perhaps even painting a wall with your kids. (I’ve received emails telling me the favorite activities of my listeners.) But, seriously, I need your attention today because the information I am sharing with you will take some convincing.

It is not that my information is incorrect or that it is flawed in some way; the issue at hand is that humility may get in the way.

I’m not trying to be vague if you have listened to any of my past 490 podcasts a ridiculous number, I know, and I’m still at it; I normally get right to the point.

The Real Secret Weapon

The truth is the secret weapon is you, mom, or dad. Not to put pressure on you more than you possibly put on yourself, but the simple fact is you are it! You are the head of your home, classroom, discipline, and organization in your family, the head honcho, or whatever title you give yourself. Who gives the final word on what happens in your child’s education? You. In regard to your child’s physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being in the palm of your hand. Literally.

How did I come to this conclusion? Carefully. Over the years, I placed blame on various sources, entities, and even my own shoulders for what I considered academic or character struggles my children went through in their life. The curriculum was easy – if my child didn’t “get” Algebra using one book, no worries – we purchased another. Character struggles were the result of a young age (they are too young to get it), too little knowledge (we haven’t covered that yet) or lack of information (we are working on that). But at some point, I had to stop and say, “I can’t blame their teacher because I am their teacher.”

Instead of that statement being a burden, I embraced it. I realized that I could not address the issue without acknowledging my shortcomings. If my child was misbehaving, I had many options, but I had to do something to correct that behavior, or I’d see it again and again. I’d turn into the nagging, repeating parent.

Word on the Street

At every convention I attended, I found the next best thing. Yet, upon implementation, I found that this next-best thing was not what I was looking for, whether it was a book, workbook, video, game, or even a book on scheduling and organization. I discovered that I needed to be “all in” in order to embrace what we were learning and be there to support my child in the process. As homeschoolers, we tend to want to set it and forget it. Give your child a book and walk away and then become frustrated when they walk away from the table and never come back, lose their book, or fail to complete an assignment. This all happened in the course of my 32 years of homeschooling.

My discovery came from many discussions with my husband, homeschool friends, and children. First, my husband shared information he learned from listening to a homeschooled dad of a large family, a Catholic Psychologist he listened to on the radio. He loved this man and his advice, especially to dads.  His advice was that moms hold so much power in their hands. They can determine if the child receives privileges. It is up to them. That is not novel advice, but in the context of homeschooling it becomes powerful. We are with our children 24/7, and our children know what buttons to push; they know when we are tired, or they conquer and divide, tell mom or dad that the other parent gave permission when this isn’t true. Or, they blur the lines of exactly what it means when you ask, “Did you complete your assignment?”

Homeschool Secret Weapons Tool Box:

Having the tools to get the results you need is in your tool chest of homeschool secret weapons. And what are these?

1. You have the power of yes or no.
2. You can remove distractions.
3. You can set boundaries.
4. You can decide if a child forgoes a snack or a treat.
5. You can give permission or take it away.

My daughter brought home some friends when she attended a local university. One girl went on and on about how she was now an adult. I asked what age constituted adulthood and, secondly, when she turned said age. She answered eighteen and that her birthday had been a few months prior. So, I concluded you had been an adult for three months? She saw where I was going with it, and my daughter just laughed and rolled her eyes. This friend then proceeded to tell me that she and my daughter had had quite a few conversations, and she considered my interest in her life excessive. (She wasn’t quite blatant, but I knew what she meant.)

I explained, “Well, this household is not a republic or a democracy. It is a monarchy, and I am the Queen.” My daughter had a smile on her face, thankfully because she had heard it before, but this girl was appalled. So I went on to explain further.

You Are The Queen

Being the head of your household and reigning as Queen means caring for those in your charge (your spouse, your children), laying down your life for your kingdom (your family), and providing the best within your means. A responsibility, yes, but a privilege as well. It is a weighty responsibility; we need to refill our tanks occasionally. (I have an upcoming podcast on the topic). Being the Queen is also a thankless job. We do it because we are born into this and thrive if it is done well.

The homeschool secret weapon is our attitude and our outlook on our homeschool journey. It is placing things in perspective and not stressing the small stuff (guilty of both). Honestly, I had to pull away from the homeschool community at large for a time. I had to pull back and reexamine my focus on my spouse and children and regroup. I founded this Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Community out of a need to celebrate what was good in homeschooling with people I knew (the majority of the people on this network are those I know personally or have met in real life). You can trust these podcasters as having your best interest in giving homeschool advice.

Next Step

Friends, you are the homeschool secret weapon, and the question is, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to realize the power you have and use it wisely? I pray that this information has been helpful and you can use it to benefit your children and your family life. We undervalue our service to our family, or at best; we are too humble to appreciate it — that is why I asked for your full attention at the beginning of this podcast. I know your hearts are good, and you want what is best for your children, and when there are frustrations or difficulties, it is easy to blame others or even your children for their lack of cooperation. Knowing we have the tools at our disposal is a good start.

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Homeschooling Secrets ~ Episode 490

There are secrets, and then there are homeschooling secrets that you should know. This podcast is not for the faint-hearted! Here we will discuss the truth that, as the Scriptures say, will set you free! This podcast is brought to you by Felice Gerwitz, who will share her top tips for her thirty-two years of homeschooling. Buckle up!

Would you like an open-it-and-go unit study for the entire family? Try Media Angels, unit studies, and great planners to get organized. These can be found on the store page at MediaAngels.com

Considering Homeschooling

As a young married woman with my first child on the way, I didn’t consider homeschooling, nor was it on my radar. Many years later, I found myself at playgroups with a toddler and hearing people discuss the possibility, so I did what any sane person would do and talked them out of the idea. After all, did they have teaching degrees or certifications as I did? I wasn’t planning on homeschooling but returning to teaching once my school-aged children were enrolled.

What happened instead was after some frustrating meetings with the school system, it turned out my oldest child had mild learning issues and was speech delayed. I placed him in a private school and my daughter in a high-end-high-dollar preschool. I began to research and met a friend whose husband was a doctor, and she herself had a master’s in education and began homeschooling her daughter. She helped me put things in perspective.

After my first frustrating year, I found that I had to make my own decisions and what worked best for my family. Other than following whatever the laws are in your state (and I would have moved if our laws were like some states which mandate what books you can use), we were free to learn in a way that was best for my kids.

I’ve broken these secrets down into various categories. The first is just general information about how to look at homeschooling, the second regards parenting, the third is practical, regarding curriculum, and the last is important in regard to household chores and meals.

So here you go some top-secret tips to help you in your homeschool planning:

Homeschooling Secrets 101 ~ General

1. Decide your homeschooling philosophy – just like a business has a slogan, come up with one for your family. This will help, I promise. We brainstormed as a family and came up with things like: We are stronger together, Gerwitz Strong, and what we decided upon: As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord (Joshua 24:15)
2. Know why you are homeschooling. Is it academic? Is it to help your child with their worldview? Is it to give your child a stable family life? Is it to help your child spiritually or psychologically? Is it for a reason, learning advanced or learning delayed? Is it to avoid the issues plaguing education in our world today?
3. Get a support group, whether it is a best friend who has your back, your spouse, or a good homeschool support group.
4. Ignore well-meaning extended family members who think they know what is best. Polite responses include, “Bless your heart; thank you so much for sharing your opinion with me.” It goes a long way instead of arguing your point. (Tell the story of tongue twisters.)
5. Select a time frame to homeschool. I am going to do this for one year, etc. Time Management for Parents.

Homeschooling Secrets 101 ~ Parenting

1. Create Memories – Family Bonding Time
2. Know you are the parent and are in charge. Obedience is not an option, and getting the kids on board is important. Set boundaries. Tell the kids what you expect during a typical homeschool day.
3. Give kids time to think. Blog post here
4. Set rewards upon completion of work at the end of the week.
5. Catch them doing going and encourage the—power of words.

Homeschooling Secrets 101 ~ Curriculum & Planning

1. Learning begins with life lessons, at home and outside of the home, through hands-on exploration.
2. Begin with research, and start with Cathy Duffy’s website of top curriculum picks. 101-102
3. Podcasts – Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network – search any topic
4. Plan your year – summer is best. Break down your books with monthly/weekly goals
5. Keep Friday open if at all possible – doable in younger years. Catch-up day, field trips, etc.

Homeschooling Secrets 101 ~ Household

1. Plan once and forget it. Meals, laundry day, etc.
2. Routines rather than schedules. Every day is the same, with some revisions (laundry etc.)
3. All hands on deck. Enlist the kid’s help with chores.
4. Bulk cooking, so meals are easy during the school week. (Make double each meal and freeze)
5. Plan trips on one day. Doctor, lessons, grocery (order online and pick up).

Overall the secret to homeschooling is to be true to yourself and your goals and vision. Once I lost that, I floundered. With my oldest two, I had more energy being younger, more resources, and more time overall. When I had my next three after a gap of some years (My story is here), my oldest daughter reminded me to make learning fun for my youngest kids. I did this by adding some hands-on activities like science fair projects and history fairs, giving them time to think and delve into their interests. I also added extracurricular activities like sports; my children, the youngest three, were very good athletes and played competitively and in college. This focus and motivation helped tremendously in their school work.

My homeschool journey felt never-ending at times, but I was committed and all in – the result is we have a family that is very close to each other. My youngest kids even roomed together for a year in college. I have kids who love the Lord and are faithful and, best of all, who know that we are there for them no matter what lies ahead. We are a family, and we are there for each other. And that is the best outcome I could hope for, and I pray that for all of you as well.

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Family Bonding Time ~ Episode 489

How can you create that special family bonding time when everyone has different schedules? In this podcast, Felice shares some ways that are more than playing games together.

Check out MediaAngels.com and the wonderful books and products on the website. Check out the Character Planners that are geared for the entire family. They are written specifically to involve the family in demonstrating the character trait throughout the month and are more than just worksheets. They contain many group activities.

A few weeks ago, I attended a wedding for the son of some dear friends with a large family. During this time, I was able to catch up with the children who are now grown up! One of the sons, who now has two children of his own, shared how he remembers catching his first fish in our pond and all the good times our families had when we camped together. He said he had such a happy childhood that he was now creating memories with his family.

As parents, we crave close ties with our spouses and our children. If you had a good childhood growing up, you want to recreate that experience, or if you feel your childhood was lacking in some way, you want to remedy this with your own children. However, as parents, we often fail to work at our relationships, and for most of us, it is enough to crawl into bed with the thought, “Glad I made it through today!” When my children were little and mobile, I told my husband they were all safe for one more day. It was a daily struggle to corral little ones and homeschool the older children. If any of these experiences mirror yours, you understand that a family that gets along and is close is sometimes an oddity.

Most of us spend our time correcting and working with the children in one area or another that closeness and relationships take a back seat, especially when you have so much filling your day. I realized at different times in our lives that we needed to work together as a family. This was especially important as my children were getting older, and our lives would soon take different trajectories.

Family Bonding took place over read-aloud books in the evening, with camping, with short day trips during a time in our lives when longer trips were not possible. Family bonding happened over the campfire in our backyard or my husband building a tree house and the kids making me lunch so we could do “school” in the treehouse loft. Bonding occurred when my husband made the kids breakfast and let me sleep in. I woke up to a stillness and quiet that had me bolting out of bed, only to find the four of them by the edge of our pond, out front, eating a breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast.

Sometimes our family forged bonds when we least expected it, and even with the age gap between the older two and the younger three, there is something there that is more than siblings but true friendship. How do you recreate this experience in your own homes? I will share with you some of the activities that worked well for us.

When you enjoy family time together, you are creating a legacy. A tradition that may be passed down from generation to generation. This is something to consider when gathering ideas for future use. In our family, we were unable to take a long vacation. We took one ten-day vacation that was coupled with a wedding and two other shorter trips of about five days each, one in a rented RV. Yet even though our vacations were limited due to my husband’s work constraints, we still forged memories. We took day trips on Saturday to visit nearby museums, parks, notable historic structures such as an old library and a historic train, and activities such as the Strawberry Festival in a nearby town every February. We had picnics at the park and viewed the night sky in our own backyard.

We also had our family tradition of Friday evening pizza and movie night. This changed when the children grew older and became involved in sports. So, we selected another evening that was free as our pizza night. We had a game night on a rare occasion, as my son said, “We think we are a game family, but we are really not!” Too many tough competitors in this family. We enjoyed games, but most were educational during school hours.

As my children became older and their schedules varied, we still worked on family time when we were together. This included various activities, some made up at the spur of the moment (that I want to collect in a book someday soon), and others were long and thought out. I wanted the children to pray for each other, and my focus on the gifts Scripture talks about – the Fruits of the Holy Spirit. I focused on: Kindness, generosity, joy, charity, self-control, faithfulness, peace, and patience. (There are 12 in all, but my focus was on these.)

I handed everyone door hangers with a beautiful mountain or ocean picture and a Bible verse on the front one year. On the back, they were to place stickers with each of the “Fruits of the Spirit,” the ones that were our focus. Once this was completed, I asked them to write their names on the hanger. I then collected the door hangers and had each person select one from with the names hidden. Once they identified the item’s owner, I asked them to pray for a few minutes and ask the Lord which ones they would select to pray for each day. Then put a star next to that attribute and hand the hanger back to the person. I selected one of my sons and picked Faithfulness and Patience for him — some picked two. We wrote down the attributes and put them in our Bible as a reminder to pray. Even if we were miles apart, we could be assured of each other’s prayers.

This year I gave Christmas cards to each person and had them select a random name. If they selected their own name, they placed it back in the box. I then talked about being an encouragement to each other; my husband says that our home is a place to feel safe and loved and that they can come to each of us for help whenever needed or just to talk. I then asked everyone to write a card to this person that they could keep all year long as a reminder that they are loved and encouraged. We didn’t do this immediately as I wanted time to think and pray. This is a reminder, as I have my card in the Bible, that I am loved and cared for.

You can adapt these activities to younger children by selecting a name for each person to pray for, and then in your evening prayer, you can spend time praying for each other. Explain to the children the seriousness and importance of this activity. Whether you are praying for a character quality, such as “diligence,” or quality, such as “faithfulness,” the importance of knowing your family is there for you is really the crux of what it means to bond as a family.

I pray these activities to spur ideas of your own and understanding that each person feels valued, cherished, and loved will repair many of the hurts within families and those from outside.

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