Helping Dad Connect With The Kids – MBFLP 259

A reader asks: “How can we help dads connect with their kids?”

Moms seem to naturally connect with little ones – even before they’re born! It’s not so easy for dads, though. More than one has said, “I can’t communicate with this baby – I’ll let Mama handle it until he’s six or seven, and can understand me.”

That may be common but it’s unnecessary and really, it’s giving up precious time in your child’s life. It’s true, you’ll have a different relationship when they reach that age, but that’s true for every age – and the longer you put off your child, the harder it might become to build bridges later.

So what can be done about it?

First off, don’t let it become a source of contention between husband and wife. If she raises the issue, he needs to step back a bit and ask, “Lord, is it true?” rather than getting defensive.

Recognize that “connecting” isn’t magic and mystical – it’s just a matter of spending time and interacting with your kids.

Train yourself to be intentional about “dad time.” Hal used to de-compress on the commute home, trying to mentally close the office door behind him and re-focus his mind on his roles of husband and father when he got home. That’s not obvious when you’re working from home, though – you have to remind yourself to step away from work and notice your family around you.

Practice some self-denial. The world really plays on our natural desire for our own needs and interests. Certainly there’s a need for some rest and recuperation just to keep yourself healthy and strong! But being available for your children’s needs means your own will have to wait sometimes. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit – it should not surprise us that we don’t naturally abound in it! (continued … )

Disciple Like Jesus Did

Take your kids along when you can. The American theologian Jonathan Edwards had eleven kids and responsibility for several churches in colonial New England. Whenever he traveled to another village, he took a child along. Even when they’re very little, Dad can bring along the baby or the toddler when he runs an errand. Take the opportunity to talk with them about what you’re doing – even if they can’t talk back, they’ll grow accustomed to your voice and they’ll learn more than you realize!

Invite your kids into your work. Men seem to communicate better shoulder-to-shoulder – working together on some project. Whatever task comes to hand, ask one of your kids to join you – “Come on, let’s change the oil on the car,” or “Let me show you how to unstop a toilet.” Allow for additional time and distraction; it won’t be as efficient as doing the job solo, but it’s important time for training and relationship. What if they’re not interested? Keep asking, and sometimes, don’t give them the option – just bring them.

Jesus trained His disciples this way – He lived and worked with them, and He explained and asked and answered questions as they came alongside Him in ministry.

And don’t be shy about inviting yourself into their world, either. “Hey there – whatcha building?” “I haven’t read that book – what do you think about it?” Initiate conversations! Ask open ended questions. Assume that they can understand and respond, and see if you can draw them out.

Remember that you can’t schedule a heart’s opening – you have to be there when they’re ready to share. That means the time you invest simply being with your children and interacting with them will open doors and opportunities for deeper conversation and counsel.

HAVE YOU GOT A QUESTION YOU’D LIKE US TO DISCUSS?

Call our Listener Response Line at (919) 295-0321

What Dads Need Most in a Family

Finish Well Radio, Podcast #066, What Dads Need Most in a FamilyIn “What Dads Need Most in a Family,” Episode #066, Meredith Curtis gives sons, daughters, wives, and mothers insight into what Dads really need to be successful in serving Jesus, leading their home, and loving their families. Do you want to see your husband, father, sons, and other men in your life be successful in what God has called them to do? Meredith and Laura will give you principles that work and give you tips on how to apply these principles in real life. What a great way to show love to the men in your life!

 

 

 

 


Proverbs 1:5 by Laura Nolette and Powerline Productions, Inc.Proclaiming Jesus through Bible Studies, Classes, Websites, Blogs, and Podcasts!

 

 

 

 

 


Show Notes

What men need from their wives, children, and other important people in their lives is respect, listening, and freedom to lead.

 

Respect

Ephesians 5:33: “The wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”

Respect is more important to a man than love; in fact, respect communicates love to a man.

 

Listen

Proverbs 1:5: “A wise man will hear and increase in learning, And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel.”

Listening to a father’s counsel communicates respect to him and benefits to you.

 

Follow

Dad can’t lead if no one follows.

How do we interact with Dad?

Things NOT to do: Rate his leadership, talk about him negatively to Mom, siblings, and others, feel superior to him.

 

Special Word to Children & Teens

Something magnificent about Daddies 😊

Proverbs 17:6: “Grandchildren are the crown of old men, And the glory of sons is their fathers.”

Devil’s Plan: Brokeness.

God’s Plan: Hearts Unified.

Malachi 4:6: “He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers, so that I will not come and smite the land with a curse.”

Autonomy/Freedom to submit.

Protection.

Hebrews 12:9: “Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live?”

Respecting our fathers is a small picture of how we are to respond to the Lord.

 

Special Word to Wives

Ephesians 5:33: “The wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”

Husband’s Role to Lead and ours to follow.

Autonomy. Freedom to submit & follow.

Protection.

Your Husband is not a woman; don’t expect him to be your girlfriend.

 

Special Word to Moms

Ephesians 6:4: ”Do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Merey: Raising Confident Men

Laura: Affirming my Grown Son who’s a Dad

 

Special words to friends.

 

Home & Family Resources

Joyful and Successful Homeschooling by Meredith CurtisUnlocking the Mystery of Homeschooling High School by Meredith Curtis and Laura NoletteJesus Fill My Heart and Home by Meredith CurtisGod's Girls Brand New Life Bible Study

Real Men 101: Godly ManhoodGod's Girls 101: Grow in ChristReal Men 102: Freedom, Courtship, Marriage, & FamilyGod's Girls 103: Courship, Marriage, and the Christian Family High School Class

Real Men 103: LeadershipGod's Girls 105: Homemaking by Meredith CurtisReal Men Talk About Freedom, Girls, & MarriageGod's Girls Talk About Guys, Virtue, & Marriage

 

Thoughts for Dads from One Daddy’s Little Girl

Thoughts for Dad from One Daddy's Little Girl - with the Real Kathy LeeI hope all of the dads listening today had a great Father’s Day! In honor of my dad I thought I would share some thoughts on Fatherhood from a “daddy’s little girl” and mom’s perspective.

I think the most important things for dads to remember is:

  1. Be present. – There is a famous saying, the days are long but the years are short. I believe this is so true!! Don’t wish away the days.
  2. Be intentional. – Being intentional doesn’t mean you have to spend thousands of dollars on a family trip to Europe. It does mean putting your phone away to have conversations, play games, attend events, and show up (emotionally and physically) for your family.
  3. Be consistent. – Kids thrive on routine. Help your family keep their routine by making family time a priority and being consistent as much as possible!
  4. Be dependable. –  Can’t say this enough. Kids need to know their parents will be there, period.
  5. Be confident. I believe most kids are born risk takers until the adults convince them that fear should be present. Try and live fearlessly in front of your kids. Confidence is contagious.

Make it Count!

I also think it is very important for dads to remember that their children don’t need you to be the world’s greatest problem solver. They mainly need you to listen to them, to know them, to love them and to honor how they feel. They need to know they are worthy of love and belonging.

In this episode I talk about the importance to facing your own childhood trauma. Research shows that we carry our trauma into our parenting. I saw a therapist to deal with my own childhood trauma and definitely believe that it has been a benefit to my children.

Dad’s, you are superheroes. Keep being strong and tender, your boys and your girls need that from you! Thank you for all you are doing for the next generation.

 

Find a way to #sayyes today.

Don’t forget to subscribe to my podcast and leave a review on iTunes!!!

Thank you to The Homegrown Preschooler for sponsoring this Podcast! Check out the blog post Kathy mentioned, Farmhouse Schoolhouse, to read more about A Year of Playing Skillfully.

Also, to thank you for listening, you can receive a 10% discount on any purchase at

The Homegrown Preschooler by using the code, THEREALKATHYLEE.

Real Talk for Real Fathers with John Finch

Real Talk for Real FathersAbout this time last year, I was introduced to John Finch on Twitter. John asked me to write an article for his encouraging dads project. You can read that here…

http://www.encouragingdads.com/2016/05/memories-are-made-in-the-everyday-moments/

As I learned more about John and what he does for fathers, I knew I wanted to have him on the show. In this episode, I chat with John about what he has learned about Fatherhood on his journey. John shares about his own realization that Father Wounds have a large impact on Fatherhood and how he is overcoming the loss of losing his own father to suicide at age 11.

John recently released a documentary called The Father Effect and he shares some of the lessons he learned while creating this documentary. You can find out more about The Father Effect on his website, www.thefathereffect.com

The Father Effect Movie

If you need encouragement about fatherhood, check out John’s Encouraging Dad’s Project. You can read lots of great stories on his site, www.encouragingdads.com

Encouraging Dads

Happy Fathers Day!!!

Find a way to #sayyes today.

Don’t forget to subscribe to my podcast and leave a review on iTunes!!!

Thank you to The Homegrown Preschooler for sponsoring this Podcast! Check out the blog post Kathy mentioned, Farmhouse Schoolhouse, to read more about A Year of Playing Skillfully.

Also, to thank you for listening, you can receive a 10% discount on any purchase at

The Homegrown Preschooler by using the code, THEREALKATHYLEE.

Fathers as Storytellers with SD and Josiah Smith

Fathers as Storytellers with SD and Josiah Smith on The Real Kathy Lee Podcast!On this episode I had the privilege of speaking with the SD (Sam) Smith and his brother, Josiah. I met these sharp dressed men a couple of years ago as Sam’s book, The Green Ember was being launched. Sam and Josiah are one of four boys and have a passion for fatherhood and making every moment count with their families.

I had such an amazing time listening to these dads share their heart for reading and storytelling with their children. Not only did they share many benefits for taking the time to connect with children through stories, they also shared some practical tips to help along the way. I think we will all be encouraged to know that being a published author is not a requirement for being a great storyteller.

I am so grateful that Sam and Josiah took time to chat with me on this episode. I think this is a must listen for every dad out there and would be a great present for the dad in your life. Simply grab their phone and download the episode for them. Of course, moms can be great storytellers, too.

I love this family journal, Stories We Shared. This is a great way to keep track of all of the incredible books/stories you read together. Check out https://store.rabbitroom.com/ to learn more.

Sam shared the following resources during our episode:

1.Story Warren – Supports families in fostering imagination in the children they love.

2. StoryformedThe heartbeat of Storyformed.com is simple: To get life-shaping books into the lives of children everywhere. To help you discover the best children’s books. To celebrate the soul-forming power of imagination and story. To help you and your children live a story worth telling.

3. Read Aloud Revival – Sarah provides a great booklist for parents to explore.

Don’t forget to check out The Green Ember and get to know the beautiful work of SD Smith! Also, you can follow Sam on FaceBook and Instagram.

Find a way to #sayyes today.

Don’t forget to subscribe to my podcast and leave a review on iTunes!!!

Thank you to The Homegrown Preschooler for sponsoring this Podcast! Check out the blog post Kathy mentioned, Farmhouse Schoolhouse, to read more about A Year of Playing Skillfully.

Also, to thank you for listening, you can receive a 10% discount on any purchase at

The Homegrown Preschooler by using the code, THEREALKATHYLEE.

Top 10 Lessons From TV Dads, Part 1 – HIRL Episode 44

HIRL-Episode-44Top 10 lessons from TV dads? What could we possibly learn from a bunch of characters on television?

Join Fletch as he takes a trip into television history and shares his top 10 lessons he has learned from the TV dads he was raised with. This episode was recorded straight from the Teach Them Diligently Homeschool Convention in Nashville, TN.

While Kendra was busy meeting other homeschool parents and presenting her sessions, Fletch pulled lessons from Mike Brady, Charles Ingalls, Homer Simpson, Ward Cleaver and Sheriff Andy Taylor. Along the way, he also interviewed several homeschool parents on the floor of the TTD Convention and asked them, “Who is your favorite TV Dad and why?”

There are lessons on this podcast episode for both husbands and wives, so tune in and enjoy the first five dads from Fletch’s list on this episode of Homeschooling In Real Life, To Go!

Timeline

4:46 Nashville Guests Part 1
7:00 Lesson #1 – Mike Brady
9:45 Lesson #2 – Charles Ingalls
14:00 Lesson #3 – Homer Simpson
18:26 Nashville Guests Part 2
19:31 Lesson #4 – Ward Cleaver
23:50 Lesson #5 – Andy Taylor
30:35 Nashville Guests Part 3

Join Fletch (from theMangoTimes) and Kendra (from Preschoolers and Peace and KendraFletcher.com) for the HomeschoolingIRL podcast every week as they interview guests and talk through some of the goofiness they have experienced in nearly two decades of Homeschooling In Real Life.

Music by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
YouTube clips used for Mike Brady, Charles Ingalls, Homer Simpson, Ward Cleaver and Andy Taylor. For more information, follow the links.

Informer Interview with Todd Wilson

A podcast for homeschool dads and moms together!

Informer Podcast WilsonListen as Indiana dads share:

  • their best advice on getting started homeschooling
  • how to support mom
  • how homeschooling has affected their family

We also have special guest Todd Wilson from Familyman Ministries.

Familyman Ministries started with this mission:
“to remind dads of what’s most important.”

Todd travels across the country each year encouraging families who might be struggling with homeschooling.

 

What Homeschooling Dads Wish Their Wives Knew – HIRL Episode 19

HIRL- Episode- 19

It’s time for an episode that’s all about the men.

 

 

On this episode of HomeschoolingIRL, Fletch talks with three other homeschooling dads about what they wish their wives knew . They discuss the trap of micro-managing, the pressure to perform that their wives feel acutely, and what they really think about making curriculum choices and attending homeschool conventions. They also ask the ever-present question, What exactly does it mean to be the “Principal”?

 

Be sure to join Fletch as he interviews Michael T. Hansen of The Great Commission Transmission Network, Shane Pitt (husband of blogger and conference creator Cheryl Pitt), and John Wilkerson of The Wired HomeschoolThen enter Fletch’s TV dad quiz for a chance to win a $50 Lowe’s gift card!

 

For complete show notes and links to what we discussed on this episode, go to our website: HomeschoolingIRL.com

 

Join Fletch (from theMangoTimes) and Kendra (from Preschoolers and Peace) podcast every two weeks as they interview guests and talk through some of the goofiness they have experienced in nearly two decades of Homeschooling In Real Life.

 

Co-ops, Football and Dads!

By Ryan Sprage

Listen in to an interview with Ryan Sprague.  Ryan is an author, pastor, homeschool dad, former athlete and co-op guest speaker.  Discover how your co-op can be enhanced with intention and purpose.   Ryan played on FSU championship team and he played for the pros!  Join our show to hear a little bit about his life as well as his involvement with co-ops!    Ryan’s newest book, Seasons, is a book that should be read by all teens and young adults.  This book would make a great addition to a teen co-op.